backupdump002 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
backupdump002) wrote2008-01-26 04:52 am
backupdump002) wrote2008-01-26 04:52 am
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Mario is Missing (PC Version) Part 1
Sorry for the lack of updates for the past... two weeks or so. I just haven't felt like it, really. I did do an ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
antiquemanthong update at some point, though. Mainly just art stuff.
Right then, so I guess I might as well get started on the next screenshot adventure.
AND THE RESULTS ARE:
Golden Sun: 0 (hahahaha)
Chrono Trigger: 5
Sanitarium: 4
Mario is Missing: 8 (le_dog voted over AIM)
...wow. I had no idea you guys were so into that game. Mario is Missing it is!
Now, this game is pretty much just a straightforward educational game, is pretty repetitive, and reeeeeally doesn't leave me a whole lot of room for commentary. I'm actually a little nervous about doing this just for those reasons; I really hope I can make it interesting and fun for everyone and all that. I'll do my best, though. I'LL PUT ON MY EXTRA WACKY SCREENCAPPING HAT, JUST FOR YOU GUYS
One problem: i-it turns out that I don't actually have the deluxe version of the PC game. Just the regular, voiceless version. |D; Whoops. I have honestly tried to find the deluxe version, I really have, but I just cannot find it anywhere. Someone on YouTube uploaded a couple of clips of the deluxe version, though, so I can at least give you a taste of what the voices should be like. Hopefully that works for you guys..?
I FOUND MARIO LOL
Hahaha, this wasn't even made by Nintendo. We can only expect top-notch quality from this game.
*plunk.*
OUR HEROES
Huh, their heads look a little--
AIGUAHDGKDAFGHK NECKS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY
If Mario starts spitting pea soup then I am out of here.
AND OUR TALE BEGINS
You can tell the narrator really had fun with his lines. Here's a clip.
There's so many things wrong with this that I'm not even gonna start. I JUST... SURE, HAIRDRYERS, THAT WORKS
So in a game that's supposed to be about geography and culture and ~*the world we all live in*~, we have freaking polar bears in the South Pole. Whoops, game designers :B
The way he says this line is awesome. I MADE SURE TO INCLUDE IT IN THE SOUND CLIP
Mario and Luigi have very... er... interesting voices. And Luigi sort of sounds like Meowth and Daxter's lovechild.
Hahahaha, Brooklyn. I heard something about how the Super Mario 64 players guide says that he's from Brooklyn, and Nintendo just sort of... went with it, and then later they started hinting that he was born in the Mushroom Kingdom. Something like that. Though it seems weird that that would be in this game, considering it came out before Mario 64. SOMETHING, I DUNNO. I SAY MARIO IS FROM SPACE.
All I see is blank space, personally, but
OH WEEGEE YOU AND YOUR JOKES!!!
AND A 75% CHANCE OF UNHAPPY PENGUINS
AND THE MUSIC TURNS SINISTER
gonna kick those krazy koopas in the kostal kartilage
AND DON'T DO DRUGS! AND STAY IN SCHOOL!
Important: Bowser looks good in a tux.
YOU'RE A FOOL, MARIO
A GLUTTONOUS, GLUTTONOUS FOOL
*long pause*
...you know, I actually didn't see that coming.
Bowser: ahyuk hyuk hyuk
Are any of these sentences actually related? Call our 1-800 number and vote!
Bowser has interesting taste in interior decorating.
Larry's voice.
Fun Fact: This is the only Mario game where the Koopalings have speaking roles, aside from Paper Mario. Though Paper Mario doesn't have voices :O
Here is the options menu. Luigi has the most terrifying face I have ever seen.
I'm not totally sure what the age part does. I'm guessing it makes the pamphlets later on more dense, or maybe the hints people give you are more vague? Maybe the questions are harder? I dunno. I'll mess with it later.
and i am definitely an adult and not sixteen or anything. what
Let's go with the first door!
Imagine this corny, mystical-sounding music playing during this.
IT'S ALL SO HIGH TECH
And here we are! By the way, if you ever play this game for yourself then you should try to memorize the location you are when you enter, since it's the only way out (well, there's actually two exit pipes, I think, though it's easier to just memorize this one and not walk all over the place). Don't be like me and just wing it, guys
Phone: RINGADINGDING
Intersting phone you got there, Luigi.
Aww, that was kind of mean. "Oh hey Luigi uh is Mario with you because we could really use some help"
I really don't know why the "They're either stealing stuff or disrupting traffic with their skateboards and helicopters" line cracks me up as much as it does. THOSE KRAZY KOOPAS!!!!!
God his talking animations are frightening.
ANYWAY
So the point of the game is that Bowser is ordering the Koopas to steal stuff to fund hisstupid brilliant hairdryer scheme, Luigi has to stop them, AND YOU GOTTA HELP US. The gameplay pretty much consists of you walking around town, talking to people, defeating Koopas, and answering fun-filled quizzes to return the stuff. That explanation sucked, but you'll see as we go along.
A taxi token! The taxi is awesome -- just open up your map, click anywhere, and awaaaaaaayyyy you go. You start out with three here, though I forget if you do in later levels.
People Finder! You can add this to your inventory, then click on it whenever you want to show where people are on your map. This can be handy if you need to know where you are and can't find anyone around. You can only find one person per People Finder, though :O
AND WE HAVE ANOTHER PHONE CALL!
It's Mario! And I caught him while he was blinking, whoops. He looks sort of indignant like that, which makes the fact that he's apparently near sewage (?) oddly hilarious. WHY I'D NEVER |<
A KOOPA
Just click on it, and Luigi will apparently use his previously-undisclosed psychic powers to defeat it. WEEGEE HAS A GYFT
And uhhh, the Koopa's eyes bugged out all comically when I clicked him, but here it just looks like he doesn't have any. Actually, this whole screenshot is kind of creepy in general, with the falling apart and the levitating and
THIS KOOPA KNOWS BETTER THAN TO MESS WITH BIG L
And we got a bannister! How he managed fit a bannister into a sack and sling it over his shoulder is something that I will never know!
THIS KOOPA IS 2 KOOL 4 SKOOL
LET'S BRING THAT PUNK DOWN A NOTCH
GOOD GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS FACE? IT'S FRIGGING DECIMATED
Luigi doesn't screw around.
Why hello there, my good man!
...yeah, next time someone asks me where they are, I am definitely going to reply to them with some cryptic riddle I came up with on a whim.
I asked him what my current object was, this time :B
Anyway, at least we know we're in Rome, now. To the map!
I have no idea why the screenshots suddenly turn huge when I access the map. Sorry about that :O
Aaaaaaand we have a Yoshi, somehow! Yaaaaaaayyyyy
You NEED a Yoshi to leave, by the way. I guess this was just this game's way of getting kids to learn about geography and stuff. Also, once you get Yoshi you could technically just leave without returning the treasures or anything, but it wont count as a completed level so there's not much of a point to it.
Some kid skips by like a douche
I forgot what this Koopa was doing before I clicked him. He probably was dragging it or had it over his shoulder or something.
That lady looks like someone and I can't place a finger on it.
"Hey, stop that."
Koopa: :I
I imagine some kid out there really got a kick out of these.
OH WHAT THE-- THERE'S A KOOPA STEALING STUFF RIGHT THERE AND THAT COP JUST WALKS BY LIKE NOTHING IS HAPPENING
ON THAT NOTE, WHY IS NOBODY ELSE EVEN ATTEMPTING TO DEAL WITH THIS ANYWAY?
GOD I'M SO MAD
You get this message when you defeat all the Koopas. Time to return this stuff, then!
Oh yeah, and here's a sound clip of the cop.
City map! The "i" icons are the info booths, obviously. Just click on one of those icons, and...
TaxiOH GOD WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THAT DRIVER?
I really can't even describe horror of horrors (more like whore of whores amirite guys) that is the taxi driver with just screencaps. Just imagine him going at about a billion miles per hour with his eyes darting all over the place just as fast, while a tinny version of the Super Mario Brothers theme song plays. it will scar you for life
And here we are!
Just take a pamphlet, aaaaand...
tl;dr
That is the sleaziest man I have ever seen
And wow, that's a spear? Looks more like a paintbrush to me.
GOD THAT SHOT OF HIM IS TERRIFYING
A-and shouldn't the fact that I'm holding it in front of you right now be enough proof for you
LIONS!!!1
"Good luck finding Mario," he said, his voice dropping to a low purr as he gave Luigi a tantalizing wink
WOO LET'S GO
Quite thegay glamorous colosseum!
Sort of fades into view. GOD LUIGI WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR LEGS
DO YOU EVEN HAVE KNEES
And while I'm at it, that taxi driver's ID doesn't really look like him
NEXT
I have not seen that movie, though now I'm vaguely curious.
Returning things to that same guy.
THOUGH I'M SURE IT IS A GREAT PLACE TO GO FOR A SWIM
Christ, we got more for some coins than we did for the spear. Why did they close the whole place because of a few missing coins, anyway? How could they even tell the coins were missing? Why did the Koopas even bother with the coins when they could've stolen the fountain or something (they stole a column, so I don't think it would be too out of their league)? How long am I going to keep asking questions?
POOL PARTAAAAAYYYY
Hahaha, skateboarders. There's just something that isn't right about grinding down the bannister of a historically notorious staircase, I don't know
Mmm, cheese and crackers. And wow, Luigi's really raking in the dough.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot: in the actual deluxe version of MiM, you get real photos of all the landmarks and artifacts and stuff instead of these cheesy little computer drawings. Pretty impressive, I have to say! These are a lot funnier, though.
Man, Michelangelo is so cool -- you could put him on the friggin MOON and he'd still wind up making breathtaking art. He also happens to be my favorite Ninja Turtle. trufax
I think this guy is stalking Luigi.
Hahaha, leaf. THERE WILL BE NO PENIS IN THIS VIDEO GAME OKAY THIS IS A FAMILY GAME
Ooooooo. I wish my bedroom was designed that well. It's kind of dark and it's always either too hot or too cold :(
i swear to god are these places run by quadruplets or something
IT'S ALWAYS GODS
Hahahaha, sounds like it'd be kind of tricky to put back.
THE PHONE'S A-RINGIN'
Hooray! By the way you better get used to seeing this and many other messages in this game because you are going to be seeing them a lot
Oh yeah, and photo. I LIKE THE COLORS |B
...now to remember where the entrance was!
God, it took me forever to find this. This is why you should not be like me, and you should make note of where you came in okay guys
BLAU
BLAU
BLAU
BLAU
BLAU
lol oops
But each door only has one handle! hyuk hyuk
duhhhh
WELP TIME FOR THE NEXT PLACE I GUESS
...well, I can tell from the stereotypical straw thatched roof building and bongo drums in the music that we're in Africa.
Oh yeah, you can read newspapers which pretty much just tell you STRANGE TURTLES ARE STEALING THINGS WHAT WILL WE DO OMG and so on. I didn't read any in this episode, though I'll make sure to remember to do that in the next :B
The talking animations in this game, I swear
HINT HINT
afghahagfiuahdgi Zanzibar
Hopefully we will not run into any deadly poisonous Zanzibar hamsters.
KENYAAAAAA KENYA KENYA KENYAAAAAAAA
Holy freakin' crap, it's Dr.-Freakin'-Wily!
TALK TO ME, HOT STUFF
Totally sexy voice clip.
*dreamy sigh*
Anyway, I eventually collect all the stuff.
This game really has some very interesting phone numbers. And I manage to keep forgetting them whenever I try to call them and have to look at the sign numerous times |D WHOOPS
Interesting! Now let's call in and--
Wow, that lady has a pretty interesting--
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I really can't decide which is creepier: this or the last shot.
Slightly more normal.
gudaiygadhgk let's get out of here
SPOOKY
...I really don't think I could stand having a window seat in that restaurant.
Oh great it's-- wait, they closed the whole place down because a menu was missing?
Sadly, I durred out and didn't make the connection between "freedom fighter" and "UN headquarters."
I STILL DON'T GET WHY I HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT THE RESTAURANT'S RICH, CULTURAL HISTORY TO RETURN A MENU. That would be like me springing pop quizzes on people whenever I lend them a video game.
"Yeah, thanks for lending me Hotel Dusk, Dox."
"No problem. However, I'm afraid I have to ask you a couple of questions to prove that video game isn't a fake."
"...wha--"
"WHAT POPULAR MUSIC VIDEO INSPIRED THE GAME'S ART STYLE???????"
And this is really annoying: whenever you get a question wrong, you have to leave the screen, come back, and THEN call them again, otherwise you just get this message. It's better than the SNES version where if you screwed something up then you have to freakin' restart (to my knowledge, anyway), but it's still dumb.
HERE we go.
And that is one hefty reward for returning a menu, wow :O
This reminds me of something and I can't place a finger on it.
I am getting horrible flashbacks of Sim Safari right now. God, that game drove me nuts.
SORRY, BUT YOU'VE HIRED TOO MANY VILLAGERS AND NOW THEY WONT WORK FOR YOU ANYMORE.
THE PEOPLE IN YOUR CAMP FEEL PACKED IN LIKE SARDINES. YOU SHOULD CONSIDER GETTING RID OF A FEW BUILDINGS.
*after getting rid of some buildings*
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE TEARING DOWN YOUR OWN BUILDINGS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
YOU NEED MORE TENTS AND COTTAGES.
*repeat times infinity*
*after spending a ton of time going over the HUGE MAP and carefully laying down roads*
THE ROADS YOU BUILT IN THE PARK ARE TOO INTRUSIVE AND ARE UNFAIR TO THE WILDLIFE. YOU NEED TO REBUILD THEM.
YOU NEED MORE [ANIMAL] IN YOUR PARK
*after spending tons of money putting large quantities of said animal in park, they all get eaten immediately*
YOU NEED MORE [ANIMAL] IN YOUR PARK
I like the thought of Luigi just taking a baby elephant and shoving it in his pocket
Wooo!
Hooray!
OW GOD MY EYES
I got a Pokey Finder, making it much easier to get to the exit :D also lol pokey
BLAU
you already said that
WASTING NO TIME
Aaaaaand we're in Asia, apparently. I really wish my right leg would stop hurting
YOU AGAIN
And I saw that "upside down" joke, McChan.
Oh wow, I was completely guessing, there 8D AWESOME
WEEGEE HAS SUPPLE BUTTOCKS
Augh, my leg stopped hurting and now my chest hurts. Life is just so hard sometimes
Hahaha, I wonder how the Koopas were planning to sell one stone from the Great Wall? I mean, could they prove that the stone even came from it?
I SUDDENLY HAVE A CRAVING FOR BACON
Hahahaha they just took the whole gate. HOW ARE THEY EVEN TAKING THESE THINGS WITHOUT ANYONE NOTICING
And the gate is only worth about $300 more than a restaurant menu
THAT'S A PRETTY SNAZZY PAINTING THERE
man i'm hungry
BUT SLUMBER PARTY IS MY SECOND CHOICE
I do not recall the Temple of Heaven's color scheme being a mixture of fuschia and electric blue, but I'll take it!
MORE WITH THE GATES AND PEACE AND HEAVENLYNESS
WHEN DOES IT ALL END???
Forgot to get a shot of the reward. Oops. That's a pretty cool statue, though |D
You know, I think all the mayors in the world just gathered around one day and read the same book on how to thank people.
LET'S BLOW THIS POPSICLE STAND
YOU'RE NOT ANY BETTER WITH THE REPITITION, LARRY
Guess where we are, audience!
But what they lack in speed, they make up for in TOTALLY RADICAL SKATEBOARDS
AND MY NAME IS NOT BROOKLYN
those eyes will haunt me forever
...this is so ridiculous.
"HEY LISTEN LUIGI WE'RE IN BIG TROUBLE HERE WE'VE GOT HAIRDRYERS OUT THE WAZOO AND BOWSER SAYS YOU'RE A STUPIDFACE I THINK HE'S PLANNING SOMETHING BIG WELL ANYWAY I GOTTA GO"
MOSCOW, MOSCOW, THROWING GLASSES AT THE WALL
...interesting phone number, there
Luigi hands over the clothing with a heavy heart, sad that he did not have a chance to wear it himself
Though it does sound like a stew.
THE BOLSHOI BALLET, LOCATED IN GRADIENTS, RUSSIA
"Look, there's a hammer and a sickle in that eye. Beware."
I actually think this picture is pretty awesome. THOSE LIGHTS IN THE BACKGROUND
Heh heh, Ivan the Terrible. And I can't hear "onion" anymore without thinking of Pikmin.
I must store "Ivan the Domed One" away in my memory banks for future pet names.
Willy Wonka! Willy Wonka! The amazing chocoGOD I'M GOING TO HELL
I imagine the person who wrote this has had some bad experiences involving subways
I actually had a bit of trouble with this, since I hadn't really heard of this subway before and sort of barely skimmed through the pamphlet |B IT'S FAMOUS FOR, UH... STALIN BURGERS???
Finally got a shot of the Moscow Metro. I really need to stop answering the phone before taking pictures :B
And that is pretty cool lookin', I have to say.
WOULD YOU STOP SAYING THAT
FROOBNITZ
And what the heck, "never send a cop to do a plumber's job." Never send a cop to unclog toilets okay
...thanks, Mario.
I'm sort of disappointed there's nothing from Oklahoma on here, but then again, knowing this game, you'd probably have to go around collecting teepees and buffalo or something. this game and its stereotypes i swear
OH MAN TWO KOOPAS IN ONE THIS IS AWESOME
...WHY CAN'T I PICK THAT UP
Okay, maybe if I leave the screen and come back.
$@#(%HLt#$(%
WHOA, AGAIN? THIS PLACE IS AWESOME!
I can't see the Golden Gate Bridge without thinking of the opening for Full House.
WHATEVUH HAPPENED TO PRUHDICTUHBILITY
THE MILK MAAAAHN THE PAPAHBOY
EVENIN' TV
...I like how we're getting these craploads of money, yet we're still having to scrounge for taxi tokens.
EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK, EVERYWHERE YOU GO
One of the information booths was on an island, which you could only get to by taxi (????). Can you think of how much that would suck if you didn't have a taxi token? What if that was the last place you had to go to, and you couldn't go because you used all your tokens travelling around town?
"Almost."
That IS a pretty cool bit of information, though :D I must make a mental note to research this further!
All that for a prison shirt
THE ROCK, WHERE IT IS FOREVER STORMY
CLANG CLANG CLANG WENT THE TROLLE-- wait no wrong car
MUST GET TO DESTINATION NYEEEEEERRRRROOOMMMMMM
This place looks like one big constant synthpop rave party. i am really tired right now
MAYBE NOT EVERYONE IS GRATEFUL MAYOR FROOBNITZ
DID YOU EVER STOP TO THINK ABOUT THAT?
okay guys
we got a score to settle
And in gamespeak this means I AM OBNOXIOUS PLEASE SET ME ON FIRE
TAKE AIM
FIRE (LOL GET IT)
Larry's hair is flame retardant.
DUNDUDUN!!! WHAT'S AROUND THE CORNER FOR OUR DASHING HERO IN GREEN???? WELL IT'S... p...pretty much the same thing, actually
Jeeeeeez this took forever. It's kinda hard to come up with commentary for this... though I still wound up being pretty mediocre, despite all the time I spent on it. WHATEVER, I'M GOING TO BED
antiquemanthong update at some point, though. Mainly just art stuff.Right then, so I guess I might as well get started on the next screenshot adventure.
AND THE RESULTS ARE:
Golden Sun: 0 (hahahaha)
Chrono Trigger: 5
Sanitarium: 4
Mario is Missing: 8 (
le_dog voted over AIM)...wow. I had no idea you guys were so into that game. Mario is Missing it is!
Now, this game is pretty much just a straightforward educational game, is pretty repetitive, and reeeeeally doesn't leave me a whole lot of room for commentary. I'm actually a little nervous about doing this just for those reasons; I really hope I can make it interesting and fun for everyone and all that. I'll do my best, though. I'LL PUT ON MY EXTRA WACKY SCREENCAPPING HAT, JUST FOR YOU GUYS
One problem: i-it turns out that I don't actually have the deluxe version of the PC game. Just the regular, voiceless version. |D; Whoops. I have honestly tried to find the deluxe version, I really have, but I just cannot find it anywhere. Someone on YouTube uploaded a couple of clips of the deluxe version, though, so I can at least give you a taste of what the voices should be like. Hopefully that works for you guys..?
I FOUND MARIO LOL
Hahaha, this wasn't even made by Nintendo. We can only expect top-notch quality from this game.
*plunk.*
OUR HEROES
Huh, their heads look a little--
AIGUAHDGKDAFGHK NECKS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY
If Mario starts spitting pea soup then I am out of here.
AND OUR TALE BEGINS
You can tell the narrator really had fun with his lines. Here's a clip.
There's so many things wrong with this that I'm not even gonna start. I JUST... SURE, HAIRDRYERS, THAT WORKS
So in a game that's supposed to be about geography and culture and ~*the world we all live in*~, we have freaking polar bears in the South Pole. Whoops, game designers :B
The way he says this line is awesome. I MADE SURE TO INCLUDE IT IN THE SOUND CLIP
Mario and Luigi have very... er... interesting voices. And Luigi sort of sounds like Meowth and Daxter's lovechild.
Hahahaha, Brooklyn. I heard something about how the Super Mario 64 players guide says that he's from Brooklyn, and Nintendo just sort of... went with it, and then later they started hinting that he was born in the Mushroom Kingdom. Something like that. Though it seems weird that that would be in this game, considering it came out before Mario 64. SOMETHING, I DUNNO. I SAY MARIO IS FROM SPACE.
All I see is blank space, personally, but
OH WEEGEE YOU AND YOUR JOKES!!!
AND A 75% CHANCE OF UNHAPPY PENGUINS
AND THE MUSIC TURNS SINISTER
gonna kick those krazy koopas in the kostal kartilage
AND DON'T DO DRUGS! AND STAY IN SCHOOL!
Important: Bowser looks good in a tux.
YOU'RE A FOOL, MARIO
A GLUTTONOUS, GLUTTONOUS FOOL
*long pause*
...you know, I actually didn't see that coming.
Bowser: ahyuk hyuk hyuk
Are any of these sentences actually related? Call our 1-800 number and vote!
Bowser has interesting taste in interior decorating.
Larry's voice.
Fun Fact: This is the only Mario game where the Koopalings have speaking roles, aside from Paper Mario. Though Paper Mario doesn't have voices :O
Here is the options menu. Luigi has the most terrifying face I have ever seen.
I'm not totally sure what the age part does. I'm guessing it makes the pamphlets later on more dense, or maybe the hints people give you are more vague? Maybe the questions are harder? I dunno. I'll mess with it later.
and i am definitely an adult and not sixteen or anything. what
Let's go with the first door!
Imagine this corny, mystical-sounding music playing during this.
IT'S ALL SO HIGH TECH
And here we are! By the way, if you ever play this game for yourself then you should try to memorize the location you are when you enter, since it's the only way out (well, there's actually two exit pipes, I think, though it's easier to just memorize this one and not walk all over the place). Don't be like me and just wing it, guys
Phone: RINGADINGDING
Intersting phone you got there, Luigi.
Aww, that was kind of mean. "Oh hey Luigi uh is Mario with you because we could really use some help"
I really don't know why the "They're either stealing stuff or disrupting traffic with their skateboards and helicopters" line cracks me up as much as it does. THOSE KRAZY KOOPAS!!!!!
God his talking animations are frightening.
ANYWAY
So the point of the game is that Bowser is ordering the Koopas to steal stuff to fund his
A taxi token! The taxi is awesome -- just open up your map, click anywhere, and awaaaaaaayyyy you go. You start out with three here, though I forget if you do in later levels.
People Finder! You can add this to your inventory, then click on it whenever you want to show where people are on your map. This can be handy if you need to know where you are and can't find anyone around. You can only find one person per People Finder, though :O
AND WE HAVE ANOTHER PHONE CALL!
It's Mario! And I caught him while he was blinking, whoops. He looks sort of indignant like that, which makes the fact that he's apparently near sewage (?) oddly hilarious. WHY I'D NEVER |<
A KOOPA
Just click on it, and Luigi will apparently use his previously-undisclosed psychic powers to defeat it. WEEGEE HAS A GYFT
And uhhh, the Koopa's eyes bugged out all comically when I clicked him, but here it just looks like he doesn't have any. Actually, this whole screenshot is kind of creepy in general, with the falling apart and the levitating and
THIS KOOPA KNOWS BETTER THAN TO MESS WITH BIG L
And we got a bannister! How he managed fit a bannister into a sack and sling it over his shoulder is something that I will never know!
THIS KOOPA IS 2 KOOL 4 SKOOL
LET'S BRING THAT PUNK DOWN A NOTCH
GOOD GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS FACE? IT'S FRIGGING DECIMATED
Luigi doesn't screw around.
Why hello there, my good man!
...yeah, next time someone asks me where they are, I am definitely going to reply to them with some cryptic riddle I came up with on a whim.
I asked him what my current object was, this time :B
Anyway, at least we know we're in Rome, now. To the map!
I have no idea why the screenshots suddenly turn huge when I access the map. Sorry about that :O
Aaaaaaand we have a Yoshi, somehow! Yaaaaaaayyyyy
You NEED a Yoshi to leave, by the way. I guess this was just this game's way of getting kids to learn about geography and stuff. Also, once you get Yoshi you could technically just leave without returning the treasures or anything, but it wont count as a completed level so there's not much of a point to it.
Some kid skips by like a douche
I forgot what this Koopa was doing before I clicked him. He probably was dragging it or had it over his shoulder or something.
That lady looks like someone and I can't place a finger on it.
"Hey, stop that."
Koopa: :I
I imagine some kid out there really got a kick out of these.
OH WHAT THE-- THERE'S A KOOPA STEALING STUFF RIGHT THERE AND THAT COP JUST WALKS BY LIKE NOTHING IS HAPPENING
ON THAT NOTE, WHY IS NOBODY ELSE EVEN ATTEMPTING TO DEAL WITH THIS ANYWAY?
GOD I'M SO MAD
You get this message when you defeat all the Koopas. Time to return this stuff, then!
Oh yeah, and here's a sound clip of the cop.
City map! The "i" icons are the info booths, obviously. Just click on one of those icons, and...
TaxiOH GOD WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THAT DRIVER?
I really can't even describe horror of horrors (more like whore of whores amirite guys) that is the taxi driver with just screencaps. Just imagine him going at about a billion miles per hour with his eyes darting all over the place just as fast, while a tinny version of the Super Mario Brothers theme song plays. it will scar you for life
And here we are!
Just take a pamphlet, aaaaand...
tl;dr
That is the sleaziest man I have ever seen
And wow, that's a spear? Looks more like a paintbrush to me.
GOD THAT SHOT OF HIM IS TERRIFYING
A-and shouldn't the fact that I'm holding it in front of you right now be enough proof for you
LIONS!!!1
"Good luck finding Mario," he said, his voice dropping to a low purr as he gave Luigi a tantalizing wink
WOO LET'S GO
Quite the
Sort of fades into view. GOD LUIGI WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR LEGS
DO YOU EVEN HAVE KNEES
And while I'm at it, that taxi driver's ID doesn't really look like him
NEXT
I have not seen that movie, though now I'm vaguely curious.
Returning things to that same guy.
THOUGH I'M SURE IT IS A GREAT PLACE TO GO FOR A SWIM
Christ, we got more for some coins than we did for the spear. Why did they close the whole place because of a few missing coins, anyway? How could they even tell the coins were missing? Why did the Koopas even bother with the coins when they could've stolen the fountain or something (they stole a column, so I don't think it would be too out of their league)? How long am I going to keep asking questions?
POOL PARTAAAAAYYYY
Hahaha, skateboarders. There's just something that isn't right about grinding down the bannister of a historically notorious staircase, I don't know
Mmm, cheese and crackers. And wow, Luigi's really raking in the dough.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot: in the actual deluxe version of MiM, you get real photos of all the landmarks and artifacts and stuff instead of these cheesy little computer drawings. Pretty impressive, I have to say! These are a lot funnier, though.
Man, Michelangelo is so cool -- you could put him on the friggin MOON and he'd still wind up making breathtaking art. He also happens to be my favorite Ninja Turtle. trufax
I think this guy is stalking Luigi.
Hahaha, leaf. THERE WILL BE NO PENIS IN THIS VIDEO GAME OKAY THIS IS A FAMILY GAME
Ooooooo. I wish my bedroom was designed that well. It's kind of dark and it's always either too hot or too cold :(
i swear to god are these places run by quadruplets or something
IT'S ALWAYS GODS
Hahahaha, sounds like it'd be kind of tricky to put back.
THE PHONE'S A-RINGIN'
Hooray! By the way you better get used to seeing this and many other messages in this game because you are going to be seeing them a lot
Oh yeah, and photo. I LIKE THE COLORS |B
...now to remember where the entrance was!
God, it took me forever to find this. This is why you should not be like me, and you should make note of where you came in okay guys
BLAU
BLAU
BLAU
BLAU
BLAU
lol oops
But each door only has one handle! hyuk hyuk
duhhhh
WELP TIME FOR THE NEXT PLACE I GUESS
...well, I can tell from the stereotypical straw thatched roof building and bongo drums in the music that we're in Africa.
Oh yeah, you can read newspapers which pretty much just tell you STRANGE TURTLES ARE STEALING THINGS WHAT WILL WE DO OMG and so on. I didn't read any in this episode, though I'll make sure to remember to do that in the next :B
The talking animations in this game, I swear
HINT HINT
afghahagfiuahdgi Zanzibar
Hopefully we will not run into any deadly poisonous Zanzibar hamsters.
KENYAAAAAA KENYA KENYA KENYAAAAAAAA
Holy freakin' crap, it's Dr.-Freakin'-Wily!
TALK TO ME, HOT STUFF
Totally sexy voice clip.
*dreamy sigh*
Anyway, I eventually collect all the stuff.
This game really has some very interesting phone numbers. And I manage to keep forgetting them whenever I try to call them and have to look at the sign numerous times |D WHOOPS
Interesting! Now let's call in and--
Wow, that lady has a pretty interesting--
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I really can't decide which is creepier: this or the last shot.
Slightly more normal.
gudaiygadhgk let's get out of here
SPOOKY
...I really don't think I could stand having a window seat in that restaurant.
Oh great it's-- wait, they closed the whole place down because a menu was missing?
Sadly, I durred out and didn't make the connection between "freedom fighter" and "UN headquarters."
I STILL DON'T GET WHY I HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT THE RESTAURANT'S RICH, CULTURAL HISTORY TO RETURN A MENU. That would be like me springing pop quizzes on people whenever I lend them a video game.
"Yeah, thanks for lending me Hotel Dusk, Dox."
"No problem. However, I'm afraid I have to ask you a couple of questions to prove that video game isn't a fake."
"...wha--"
"WHAT POPULAR MUSIC VIDEO INSPIRED THE GAME'S ART STYLE???????"
And this is really annoying: whenever you get a question wrong, you have to leave the screen, come back, and THEN call them again, otherwise you just get this message. It's better than the SNES version where if you screwed something up then you have to freakin' restart (to my knowledge, anyway), but it's still dumb.
HERE we go.
And that is one hefty reward for returning a menu, wow :O
This reminds me of something and I can't place a finger on it.
I am getting horrible flashbacks of Sim Safari right now. God, that game drove me nuts.
SORRY, BUT YOU'VE HIRED TOO MANY VILLAGERS AND NOW THEY WONT WORK FOR YOU ANYMORE.
THE PEOPLE IN YOUR CAMP FEEL PACKED IN LIKE SARDINES. YOU SHOULD CONSIDER GETTING RID OF A FEW BUILDINGS.
*after getting rid of some buildings*
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE TEARING DOWN YOUR OWN BUILDINGS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
YOU NEED MORE TENTS AND COTTAGES.
*repeat times infinity*
*after spending a ton of time going over the HUGE MAP and carefully laying down roads*
THE ROADS YOU BUILT IN THE PARK ARE TOO INTRUSIVE AND ARE UNFAIR TO THE WILDLIFE. YOU NEED TO REBUILD THEM.
YOU NEED MORE [ANIMAL] IN YOUR PARK
*after spending tons of money putting large quantities of said animal in park, they all get eaten immediately*
YOU NEED MORE [ANIMAL] IN YOUR PARK
I like the thought of Luigi just taking a baby elephant and shoving it in his pocket
Wooo!
Hooray!
OW GOD MY EYES
I got a Pokey Finder, making it much easier to get to the exit :D also lol pokey
you already said that
WASTING NO TIME
Aaaaaand we're in Asia, apparently. I really wish my right leg would stop hurting
YOU AGAIN
And I saw that "upside down" joke, McChan.
Oh wow, I was completely guessing, there 8D AWESOME
WEEGEE HAS SUPPLE BUTTOCKS
Augh, my leg stopped hurting and now my chest hurts. Life is just so hard sometimes
Hahaha, I wonder how the Koopas were planning to sell one stone from the Great Wall? I mean, could they prove that the stone even came from it?
I SUDDENLY HAVE A CRAVING FOR BACON
Hahahaha they just took the whole gate. HOW ARE THEY EVEN TAKING THESE THINGS WITHOUT ANYONE NOTICING
THAT'S A PRETTY SNAZZY PAINTING THERE
man i'm hungry
BUT SLUMBER PARTY IS MY SECOND CHOICE
I do not recall the Temple of Heaven's color scheme being a mixture of fuschia and electric blue, but I'll take it!
MORE WITH THE GATES AND PEACE AND HEAVENLYNESS
WHEN DOES IT ALL END???
Forgot to get a shot of the reward. Oops. That's a pretty cool statue, though |D
You know, I think all the mayors in the world just gathered around one day and read the same book on how to thank people.
LET'S BLOW THIS POPSICLE STAND
YOU'RE NOT ANY BETTER WITH THE REPITITION, LARRY
Guess where we are, audience!
But what they lack in speed, they make up for in TOTALLY RADICAL SKATEBOARDS
AND MY NAME IS NOT BROOKLYN
those eyes will haunt me forever
...this is so ridiculous.
"HEY LISTEN LUIGI WE'RE IN BIG TROUBLE HERE WE'VE GOT HAIRDRYERS OUT THE WAZOO AND BOWSER SAYS YOU'RE A STUPIDFACE I THINK HE'S PLANNING SOMETHING BIG WELL ANYWAY I GOTTA GO"
MOSCOW, MOSCOW, THROWING GLASSES AT THE WALL
...interesting phone number, there
Though it does sound like a stew.
THE BOLSHOI BALLET, LOCATED IN GRADIENTS, RUSSIA
"Look, there's a hammer and a sickle in that eye. Beware."
I actually think this picture is pretty awesome. THOSE LIGHTS IN THE BACKGROUND
Heh heh, Ivan the Terrible. And I can't hear "onion" anymore without thinking of Pikmin.
I must store "Ivan the Domed One" away in my memory banks for future pet names.
Willy Wonka! Willy Wonka! The amazing chocoGOD I'M GOING TO HELL
I imagine the person who wrote this has had some bad experiences involving subways
I actually had a bit of trouble with this, since I hadn't really heard of this subway before and sort of barely skimmed through the pamphlet |B IT'S FAMOUS FOR, UH... STALIN BURGERS???
Finally got a shot of the Moscow Metro. I really need to stop answering the phone before taking pictures :B
And that is pretty cool lookin', I have to say.
WOULD YOU STOP SAYING THAT
FROOBNITZ
And what the heck, "never send a cop to do a plumber's job." Never send a cop to unclog toilets okay
...thanks, Mario.
I'm sort of disappointed there's nothing from Oklahoma on here, but then again, knowing this game, you'd probably have to go around collecting teepees and buffalo or something. this game and its stereotypes i swear
OH MAN TWO KOOPAS IN ONE THIS IS AWESOME
...WHY CAN'T I PICK THAT UP
Okay, maybe if I leave the screen and come back.
$@#(%HLt#$(%
WHOA, AGAIN? THIS PLACE IS AWESOME!
I can't see the Golden Gate Bridge without thinking of the opening for Full House.
WHATEVUH HAPPENED TO PRUHDICTUHBILITY
THE MILK MAAAAHN THE PAPAHBOY
EVENIN' TV
...I like how we're getting these craploads of money, yet we're still having to scrounge for taxi tokens.
EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK, EVERYWHERE YOU GO
One of the information booths was on an island, which you could only get to by taxi (????). Can you think of how much that would suck if you didn't have a taxi token? What if that was the last place you had to go to, and you couldn't go because you used all your tokens travelling around town?
"Almost."
That IS a pretty cool bit of information, though :D I must make a mental note to research this further!
All that for a prison shirt
THE ROCK, WHERE IT IS FOREVER STORMY
CLANG CLANG CLANG WENT THE TROLLE-- wait no wrong car
MUST GET TO DESTINATION NYEEEEEERRRRROOOMMMMMM
This place looks like one big constant synthpop rave party. i am really tired right now
MAYBE NOT EVERYONE IS GRATEFUL MAYOR FROOBNITZ
DID YOU EVER STOP TO THINK ABOUT THAT?
okay guys
we got a score to settle
And in gamespeak this means I AM OBNOXIOUS PLEASE SET ME ON FIRE
TAKE AIM
FIRE (LOL GET IT)
Larry's hair is flame retardant.
DUNDUDUN!!! WHAT'S AROUND THE CORNER FOR OUR DASHING HERO IN GREEN???? WELL IT'S... p...pretty much the same thing, actually
Jeeeeeez this took forever. It's kinda hard to come up with commentary for this... though I still wound up being pretty mediocre, despite all the time I spent on it. WHATEVER, I'M GOING TO BED