Mario is Missing (PC Version) Part 1

[backupdump002]

Sorry for the lack of updates for the past... two weeks or so. I just haven't felt like it, really. I did do an antiquemanthong update at some point, though. Mainly just art stuff.

Right then, so I guess I might as well get started on the next screenshot adventure.

AND THE RESULTS ARE:
Golden Sun: 0 (hahahaha)
Chrono Trigger: 5
Sanitarium: 4
Mario is Missing: 8 (le_dog voted over AIM)


...wow. I had no idea you guys were so into that game. Mario is Missing it is!

Now, this game is pretty much just a straightforward educational game, is pretty repetitive, and reeeeeally doesn't leave me a whole lot of room for commentary. I'm actually a little nervous about doing this just for those reasons; I really hope I can make it interesting and fun for everyone and all that. I'll do my best, though. I'LL PUT ON MY EXTRA WACKY SCREENCAPPING HAT, JUST FOR YOU GUYS

One problem: i-it turns out that I don't actually have the deluxe version of the PC game. Just the regular, voiceless version. |D; Whoops. I have honestly tried to find the deluxe version, I really have, but I just cannot find it anywhere. Someone on YouTube uploaded a couple of clips of the deluxe version, though, so I can at least give you a taste of what the voices should be like. Hopefully that works for you guys..?





I FOUND MARIO LOL
Hahaha, this wasn't even made by Nintendo. We can only expect top-notch quality from this game.




*plunk.*



OUR HEROES




Huh, their heads look a little--



AIGUAHDGKDAFGHK NECKS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY
If Mario starts spitting pea soup then I am out of here.





AND OUR TALE BEGINS
You can tell the narrator really had fun with his lines. Here's a clip.



There's so many things wrong with this that I'm not even gonna start. I JUST... SURE, HAIRDRYERS, THAT WORKS



So in a game that's supposed to be about geography and culture and ~*the world we all live in*~, we have freaking polar bears in the South Pole. Whoops, game designers :B



The way he says this line is awesome. I MADE SURE TO INCLUDE IT IN THE SOUND CLIP




Mario and Luigi have very... er... interesting voices. And Luigi sort of sounds like Meowth and Daxter's lovechild.



Hahahaha, Brooklyn. I heard something about how the Super Mario 64 players guide says that he's from Brooklyn, and Nintendo just sort of... went with it, and then later they started hinting that he was born in the Mushroom Kingdom. Something like that. Though it seems weird that that would be in this game, considering it came out before Mario 64. SOMETHING, I DUNNO. I SAY MARIO IS FROM SPACE.



All I see is blank space, personally, but



OH WEEGEE YOU AND YOUR JOKES!!!



AND A 75% CHANCE OF UNHAPPY PENGUINS



AND THE MUSIC TURNS SINISTER




gonna kick those krazy koopas in the kostal kartilage



AND DON'T DO DRUGS! AND STAY IN SCHOOL!






Important: Bowser looks good in a tux.





YOU'RE A FOOL, MARIO
A GLUTTONOUS, GLUTTONOUS FOOL



*long pause*




...you know, I actually didn't see that coming.



Bowser: ahyuk hyuk hyuk




Are any of these sentences actually related? Call our 1-800 number and vote!




Bowser has interesting taste in interior decorating.



Larry's voice.
Fun Fact: This is the only Mario game where the Koopalings have speaking roles, aside from Paper Mario. Though Paper Mario doesn't have voices :O



Here is the options menu. Luigi has the most terrifying face I have ever seen.
I'm not totally sure what the age part does. I'm guessing it makes the pamphlets later on more dense, or maybe the hints people give you are more vague? Maybe the questions are harder? I dunno. I'll mess with it later.

and i am definitely an adult and not sixteen or anything. what



Let's go with the first door!



Imagine this corny, mystical-sounding music playing during this.






IT'S ALL SO HIGH TECH






And here we are! By the way, if you ever play this game for yourself then you should try to memorize the location you are when you enter, since it's the only way out (well, there's actually two exit pipes, I think, though it's easier to just memorize this one and not walk all over the place). Don't be like me and just wing it, guys



Phone: RINGADINGDING



Intersting phone you got there, Luigi.



Aww, that was kind of mean. "Oh hey Luigi uh is Mario with you because we could really use some help"

I really don't know why the "They're either stealing stuff or disrupting traffic with their skateboards and helicopters" line cracks me up as much as it does. THOSE KRAZY KOOPAS!!!!!





God his talking animations are frightening.



ANYWAY
So the point of the game is that Bowser is ordering the Koopas to steal stuff to fund his stupid brilliant hairdryer scheme, Luigi has to stop them, AND YOU GOTTA HELP US. The gameplay pretty much consists of you walking around town, talking to people, defeating Koopas, and answering fun-filled quizzes to return the stuff. That explanation sucked, but you'll see as we go along.



A taxi token! The taxi is awesome -- just open up your map, click anywhere, and awaaaaaaayyyy you go. You start out with three here, though I forget if you do in later levels.



People Finder! You can add this to your inventory, then click on it whenever you want to show where people are on your map. This can be handy if you need to know where you are and can't find anyone around. You can only find one person per People Finder, though :O

AND WE HAVE ANOTHER PHONE CALL!



It's Mario! And I caught him while he was blinking, whoops. He looks sort of indignant like that, which makes the fact that he's apparently near sewage (?) oddly hilarious. WHY I'D NEVER |<



A KOOPA



Just click on it, and Luigi will apparently use his previously-undisclosed psychic powers to defeat it. WEEGEE HAS A GYFT

And uhhh, the Koopa's eyes bugged out all comically when I clicked him, but here it just looks like he doesn't have any. Actually, this whole screenshot is kind of creepy in general, with the falling apart and the levitating and




THIS KOOPA KNOWS BETTER THAN TO MESS WITH BIG L



And we got a bannister! How he managed fit a bannister into a sack and sling it over his shoulder is something that I will never know!



THIS KOOPA IS 2 KOOL 4 SKOOL



LET'S BRING THAT PUNK DOWN A NOTCH



GOOD GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS FACE? IT'S FRIGGING DECIMATED




Luigi doesn't screw around.



Why hello there, my good man!




...yeah, next time someone asks me where they are, I am definitely going to reply to them with some cryptic riddle I came up with on a whim.





I asked him what my current object was, this time :B



Anyway, at least we know we're in Rome, now. To the map!



I have no idea why the screenshots suddenly turn huge when I access the map. Sorry about that :O





Aaaaaaand we have a Yoshi, somehow! Yaaaaaaayyyyy
You NEED a Yoshi to leave, by the way. I guess this was just this game's way of getting kids to learn about geography and stuff. Also, once you get Yoshi you could technically just leave without returning the treasures or anything, but it wont count as a completed level so there's not much of a point to it.





Some kid skips by like a douche




I forgot what this Koopa was doing before I clicked him. He probably was dragging it or had it over his shoulder or something.



That lady looks like someone and I can't place a finger on it.




"Hey, stop that."



Koopa: :I




I imagine some kid out there really got a kick out of these.



OH WHAT THE-- THERE'S A KOOPA STEALING STUFF RIGHT THERE AND THAT COP JUST WALKS BY LIKE NOTHING IS HAPPENING
ON THAT NOTE, WHY IS NOBODY ELSE EVEN ATTEMPTING TO DEAL WITH THIS ANYWAY?
GOD I'M SO MAD






You get this message when you defeat all the Koopas. Time to return this stuff, then!

Oh yeah, and here's a sound clip of the cop.



City map! The "i" icons are the info booths, obviously. Just click on one of those icons, and...



TaxiOH GOD WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THAT DRIVER?








I really can't even describe horror of horrors (more like whore of whores amirite guys) that is the taxi driver with just screencaps. Just imagine him going at about a billion miles per hour with his eyes darting all over the place just as fast, while a tinny version of the Super Mario Brothers theme song plays. it will scar you for life



And here we are!



Just take a pamphlet, aaaaand...



tl;dr




That is the sleaziest man I have ever seen

And wow, that's a spear? Looks more like a paintbrush to me.



GOD THAT SHOT OF HIM IS TERRIFYING

A-and shouldn't the fact that I'm holding it in front of you right now be enough proof for you




LIONS!!!1



"Good luck finding Mario," he said, his voice dropping to a low purr as he gave Luigi a tantalizing wink



WOO LET'S GO



Quite the gay glamorous colosseum!




Sort of fades into view. GOD LUIGI WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR LEGS
DO YOU EVEN HAVE KNEES



And while I'm at it, that taxi driver's ID doesn't really look like him



NEXT



I have not seen that movie, though now I'm vaguely curious.



Returning things to that same guy.




THOUGH I'M SURE IT IS A GREAT PLACE TO GO FOR A SWIM



Christ, we got more for some coins than we did for the spear. Why did they close the whole place because of a few missing coins, anyway? How could they even tell the coins were missing? Why did the Koopas even bother with the coins when they could've stolen the fountain or something (they stole a column, so I don't think it would be too out of their league)? How long am I going to keep asking questions?



POOL PARTAAAAAYYYY



Hahaha, skateboarders. There's just something that isn't right about grinding down the bannister of a historically notorious staircase, I don't know






Mmm, cheese and crackers. And wow, Luigi's really raking in the dough.



Oh yeah, I almost forgot: in the actual deluxe version of MiM, you get real photos of all the landmarks and artifacts and stuff instead of these cheesy little computer drawings. Pretty impressive, I have to say! These are a lot funnier, though.



Man, Michelangelo is so cool -- you could put him on the friggin MOON and he'd still wind up making breathtaking art. He also happens to be my favorite Ninja Turtle. trufax



I think this guy is stalking Luigi.






Hahaha, leaf. THERE WILL BE NO PENIS IN THIS VIDEO GAME OKAY THIS IS A FAMILY GAME



Ooooooo. I wish my bedroom was designed that well. It's kind of dark and it's always either too hot or too cold :(



i swear to god are these places run by quadruplets or something



IT'S ALWAYS GODS




Hahahaha, sounds like it'd be kind of tricky to put back.



THE PHONE'S A-RINGIN'



Hooray! By the way you better get used to seeing this and many other messages in this game because you are going to be seeing them a lot



Oh yeah, and photo. I LIKE THE COLORS |B



...now to remember where the entrance was!



God, it took me forever to find this. This is why you should not be like me, and you should make note of where you came in okay guys





BLAU




BLAU




BLAU




BLAU




BLAU




lol oops






But each door only has one handle! hyuk hyuk



duhhhh



WELP TIME FOR THE NEXT PLACE I GUESS



...well, I can tell from the stereotypical straw thatched roof building and bongo drums in the music that we're in Africa.



Oh yeah, you can read newspapers which pretty much just tell you STRANGE TURTLES ARE STEALING THINGS WHAT WILL WE DO OMG and so on. I didn't read any in this episode, though I'll make sure to remember to do that in the next :B





The talking animations in this game, I swear



HINT HINT



afghahagfiuahdgi Zanzibar
Hopefully we will not run into any deadly poisonous Zanzibar hamsters.



KENYAAAAAA KENYA KENYA KENYAAAAAAAA



Holy freakin' crap, it's Dr.-Freakin'-Wily!



TALK TO ME, HOT STUFF



Totally sexy voice clip.




*dreamy sigh*



Anyway, I eventually collect all the stuff.



This game really has some very interesting phone numbers. And I manage to keep forgetting them whenever I try to call them and have to look at the sign numerous times |D WHOOPS



Interesting! Now let's call in and--



Wow, that lady has a pretty interesting--



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA



I really can't decide which is creepier: this or the last shot.



Slightly more normal.



gudaiygadhgk let's get out of here



SPOOKY



...I really don't think I could stand having a window seat in that restaurant.



Oh great it's-- wait, they closed the whole place down because a menu was missing?



Sadly, I durred out and didn't make the connection between "freedom fighter" and "UN headquarters."



I STILL DON'T GET WHY I HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT THE RESTAURANT'S RICH, CULTURAL HISTORY TO RETURN A MENU. That would be like me springing pop quizzes on people whenever I lend them a video game.

"Yeah, thanks for lending me Hotel Dusk, Dox."
"No problem. However, I'm afraid I have to ask you a couple of questions to prove that video game isn't a fake."
"...wha--"
"WHAT POPULAR MUSIC VIDEO INSPIRED THE GAME'S ART STYLE???????"



And this is really annoying: whenever you get a question wrong, you have to leave the screen, come back, and THEN call them again, otherwise you just get this message. It's better than the SNES version where if you screwed something up then you have to freakin' restart (to my knowledge, anyway), but it's still dumb.




HERE we go.



And that is one hefty reward for returning a menu, wow :O



This reminds me of something and I can't place a finger on it.



I am getting horrible flashbacks of Sim Safari right now. God, that game drove me nuts.
SORRY, BUT YOU'VE HIRED TOO MANY VILLAGERS AND NOW THEY WONT WORK FOR YOU ANYMORE.

THE PEOPLE IN YOUR CAMP FEEL PACKED IN LIKE SARDINES. YOU SHOULD CONSIDER GETTING RID OF A FEW BUILDINGS.
*after getting rid of some buildings*
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE TEARING DOWN YOUR OWN BUILDINGS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

YOU NEED MORE TENTS AND COTTAGES.
*repeat times infinity*

*after spending a ton of time going over the HUGE MAP and carefully laying down roads*
THE ROADS YOU BUILT IN THE PARK ARE TOO INTRUSIVE AND ARE UNFAIR TO THE WILDLIFE. YOU NEED TO REBUILD THEM.

YOU NEED MORE [ANIMAL] IN YOUR PARK
*after spending tons of money putting large quantities of said animal in park, they all get eaten immediately*
YOU NEED MORE [ANIMAL] IN YOUR PARK



I like the thought of Luigi just taking a baby elephant and shoving it in his pocket





Wooo!



Hooray!



OW GOD MY EYES



I got a Pokey Finder, making it much easier to get to the exit :D also lol pokey



BLAU



you already said that



WASTING NO TIME



Aaaaaand we're in Asia, apparently. I really wish my right leg would stop hurting



YOU AGAIN

And I saw that "upside down" joke, McChan.




Oh wow, I was completely guessing, there 8D AWESOME



WEEGEE HAS SUPPLE BUTTOCKS




Augh, my leg stopped hurting and now my chest hurts. Life is just so hard sometimes



Hahaha, I wonder how the Koopas were planning to sell one stone from the Great Wall? I mean, could they prove that the stone even came from it?






I SUDDENLY HAVE A CRAVING FOR BACON




Hahahaha they just took the whole gate. HOW ARE THEY EVEN TAKING THESE THINGS WITHOUT ANYONE NOTICING





And the gate is only worth about $300 more than a restaurant menu



THAT'S A PRETTY SNAZZY PAINTING THERE



man i'm hungry





BUT SLUMBER PARTY IS MY SECOND CHOICE




I do not recall the Temple of Heaven's color scheme being a mixture of fuschia and electric blue, but I'll take it!



MORE WITH THE GATES AND PEACE AND HEAVENLYNESS
WHEN DOES IT ALL END???






Forgot to get a shot of the reward. Oops. That's a pretty cool statue, though |D



You know, I think all the mayors in the world just gathered around one day and read the same book on how to thank people.



LET'S BLOW THIS POPSICLE STAND



YOU'RE NOT ANY BETTER WITH THE REPITITION, LARRY




Guess where we are, audience!



But what they lack in speed, they make up for in TOTALLY RADICAL SKATEBOARDS

AND MY NAME IS NOT BROOKLYN





those eyes will haunt me forever



...this is so ridiculous.

"HEY LISTEN LUIGI WE'RE IN BIG TROUBLE HERE WE'VE GOT HAIRDRYERS OUT THE WAZOO AND BOWSER SAYS YOU'RE A STUPIDFACE I THINK HE'S PLANNING SOMETHING BIG WELL ANYWAY I GOTTA GO"



MOSCOW, MOSCOW, THROWING GLASSES AT THE WALL



...interesting phone number, there




Luigi hands over the clothing with a heavy heart, sad that he did not have a chance to wear it himself



Though it does sound like a stew.





THE BOLSHOI BALLET, LOCATED IN GRADIENTS, RUSSIA



"Look, there's a hammer and a sickle in that eye. Beware."






I actually think this picture is pretty awesome. THOSE LIGHTS IN THE BACKGROUND



Heh heh, Ivan the Terrible. And I can't hear "onion" anymore without thinking of Pikmin.




I must store "Ivan the Domed One" away in my memory banks for future pet names.





Willy Wonka! Willy Wonka! The amazing chocoGOD I'M GOING TO HELL



I imagine the person who wrote this has had some bad experiences involving subways





I actually had a bit of trouble with this, since I hadn't really heard of this subway before and sort of barely skimmed through the pamphlet |B IT'S FAMOUS FOR, UH... STALIN BURGERS???





Finally got a shot of the Moscow Metro. I really need to stop answering the phone before taking pictures :B

And that is pretty cool lookin', I have to say.



WOULD YOU STOP SAYING THAT





FROOBNITZ

And what the heck, "never send a cop to do a plumber's job." Never send a cop to unclog toilets okay



...thanks, Mario.



I'm sort of disappointed there's nothing from Oklahoma on here, but then again, knowing this game, you'd probably have to go around collecting teepees and buffalo or something. this game and its stereotypes i swear



OH MAN TWO KOOPAS IN ONE THIS IS AWESOME



...WHY CAN'T I PICK THAT UP



Okay, maybe if I leave the screen and come back.



$@#(%HLt#$(%



WHOA, AGAIN? THIS PLACE IS AWESOME!



I can't see the Golden Gate Bridge without thinking of the opening for Full House.
WHATEVUH HAPPENED TO PRUHDICTUHBILITY
THE MILK MAAAAHN THE PAPAHBOY
EVENIN' TV






...I like how we're getting these craploads of money, yet we're still having to scrounge for taxi tokens.



EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK, EVERYWHERE YOU GO



One of the information booths was on an island, which you could only get to by taxi (????). Can you think of how much that would suck if you didn't have a taxi token? What if that was the last place you had to go to, and you couldn't go because you used all your tokens travelling around town?



"Almost."

That IS a pretty cool bit of information, though :D I must make a mental note to research this further!






All that for a prison shirt



THE ROCK, WHERE IT IS FOREVER STORMY



CLANG CLANG CLANG WENT THE TROLLE-- wait no wrong car







MUST GET TO DESTINATION NYEEEEEERRRRROOOMMMMMM








This place looks like one big constant synthpop rave party. i am really tired right now



MAYBE NOT EVERYONE IS GRATEFUL MAYOR FROOBNITZ
DID YOU EVER STOP TO THINK ABOUT THAT?



okay guys
we got a score to settle



And in gamespeak this means I AM OBNOXIOUS PLEASE SET ME ON FIRE




TAKE AIM




FIRE (LOL GET IT)








Larry's hair is flame retardant.



DUNDUDUN!!! WHAT'S AROUND THE CORNER FOR OUR DASHING HERO IN GREEN???? WELL IT'S... p...pretty much the same thing, actually


Jeeeeeez this took forever. It's kinda hard to come up with commentary for this... though I still wound up being pretty mediocre, despite all the time I spent on it. WHATEVER, I'M GOING TO BED

Comments

[zarla.livejournal.com]

MAN THIS IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT THAN THE SNES ONE which was the one I had and played way too much what

Notably for the SNES one they just used the SMW sprites which weren't... so disturbing. And I don't think there were taxis. :O I think the cities were limited to three missing treasures, and if you messed up a question, you had to go solve another one before you got another try or something. And I don't think it actually had a plot, I think they were just walking in the snow, and then Mario fell in a pit, and then Luigi went into the castle. NO DIALOGUE WHATSOEVER, JUST FIGURE IT OUT BY YOURSELF

HAD SOME AWESOME MUSIC THOUGH MAN I LOVE THE MUSIC IN THIS GAME DOES THE PC VERSION HAVE THE SAME MUSIC I especially loved the Rome/Paris music like crazy so much so it ended up in some crack fics at some point I think

also

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

I actually never really played the SNES or NES versions that much, so I'm not totally sure about all the changes :O I do remember that neither of them really gave you any backstory or instruction or anything, though. MARIO IS MISSING. THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GETTING OUT OF US.

I THINK THE SNES AND PC VERSIONS DO HAVE THE SAME MUSIC ACTUALLY I should see if I can rip it or something 8D

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE'S WEEGEE!

[dia-aren-marie.livejournal.com]

I LOVE YOUR COMMENTARY it made me lol a lot. CREEPY TALKING ANIMATIONS WTF and stereotypes lol. D:

Hahaha the narrator DID seem to enjoy this. Whut.

Hmm. Now I'm contemplating making screencap adventures of old educational games I loved. :O *MUSES*

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

I AM HAPPY TO HEAR THAT :D

The deluxe version is actually worse with the stereotypes thing, from what I've seen. The info booths in Africa are run by monkeys

You should do it! I'D READ IT

OH AND BEFORE I FORGET thank you for the card! 8D IT MADE MY DAY AND THE STELLA DOODLE IS ADORABLE AND I TACKED IT TO MY LETTER WALL AS SOON AS I GOT HOME

[fireholly.livejournal.com]

WEEGEE

OH GOD THAT CHIN

THOSE EYES



Seriously, though, I loved every word of this.

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

I AM GLAD THAT YOU ENJOYED

AND ALSO THAT PICTURE MADE ME LAUGH WAY TOO HARD

[zekkass.livejournal.com]

I DIED LAUGHING MANY TIMES

The game is so nonsensical it's hilarious. :D

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

JUST WAIT 'TIL WE GET TO THE ENDING

[peachifruit.livejournal.com]

Larry's "Huhuhuh hiiiiiiiii, Luiigiiii" gets me every time

This made me laugh a lot. :D And now that you've pointed out that fake ID, the Taxi Driver is my new hero.

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

AND THE LAST THING THAT MAN SAW BEFORE HE DIED

WAS THE TAXI DRIVER'S EYES

DARTING IN EVERY DIRECTION

[neutraltwin.livejournal.com]

Hahahahaha, oh my god best voice acting ever. I would watch a Mario cartoon with these voices like THAT

I go by the Super Mario Bros Movie canon, where they were born and grew up in Brookyln and stumbled into the Mushroom Kingdom through a MYSTEEEERIOUS sewer pipe.
...But, uh, then there's Yoshi's Island. NINTENDO ISN'T GOOD AT KEEPING ITS CANON STRAIGHT

...Larry Koopa's voice is totally one of the previous voice actors trying to disguise his voice. CHEAPSKATES

Oh my god it actually SAYS 'BLAU' what the hell

...'Keen-yah', Dr. Wily?

The mayor of Kenya looks like he has a really bad cold, now I look at it. Probably all those paint fumes. QUICK, GET THE MAYOR, SOMEBODY'S PAINTED ALL THE ANIMALS REALLY GARISH COLOURS!

could they prove that the stone even came from it?/how did they take the whole gate
KOOPA MAGIC

That was awesome. Now I want to go play Mario is Missing again. And maybe finish it this time gawd

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

So much better than Fred Flintstone*Mario and Yogi*Luigi in the Super Mario Bros cartoon series, am I right or am I right.
...though in some ways, I kind of prefer Yogi*Luigi over Meowth*Luigi :V

I KNOW, SERIOUSLY. I'm just going to stick with my theory that they come from space. HOW ELSE COULD MARIO BREATHE IN SPACE IN SUPER MARIO GALAXY, HUH?
YEAH.

THE ANIMALPAINTER HAS STRUCK AGAIN!!!!

[batneko.livejournal.com]

I am so very glad I never have to play that game myself now. Thank you for saving me.

The wrong door has many handles? Is that zen or something?

Larry must use actual cement in his hair.

McChan? Seriously game? SERIOUSLY?

I'm sure I had more to say about this, but all the colors are triggering acid flashbacks so I need to go lay down for a while and try to convince my bed not to eat me.

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

It actually isn't too bad if you just need to pass the time with something, though personally, I don't really like playing it a lot in one sitting. SOME PEOPLE REALLY LIKE THESE GAMES, THOUGH, SO

Haha, no clue what the "wrong door has many handles" thing means :B I say Larry is on drugs.

[gabemobius.livejournal.com]

Hahaha oh man this game looks awesome. ALSO REMEMBER THAT THIS IS A SEMI ADVENTURE GAME SO IT IS POSSIBLE TO FIT A STEEL GIRDER IN A JACKET POCKET.

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

WELL, AS LONG AS I DON'T SET FOOT INTO ANY OCEANS, I THINK I'LL BE FINE

[melaniedavidson.livejournal.com]

Awwww I'm sure it'll be great. :D

Oh that clip is awesome. XD

...Why is Bowser even implementing this incredibly poorly-thought-out plan? Does he just hate penguins, or something?

...XD wow. I guess there's no real reason for it, but their accents are hilarious to me.

THIS IS NOT A RANDOM ANVILICIOUS PSA

I'm not totally sure what the age part does. I'm guessing it makes the pamphlets later on more dense, or maybe the hints people give you are more vague? Maybe the questions are harder? I dunno. I'll mess with it later.

:O Weird. Maybe it changes what educational info gets subtly inserted into the game?

Bag of Holding?

I love the HUGE BUSHES WITH EYES OH MY GOD on the map. XD

See this is what happens when Mario and Luigi deal with everyone's problems for them. They get all helpless and have to be saved all the time.

hahahhahaah IT'S AN ESCALATOR.

...Heyyyyy, some of these quiz questions aren't in the pamphlets! :O

Why would they even steal this stuff, were they going to ransom it or something? I mean, where do you find a buyer for a random column?

Wait, so why was the cactus thing keeping Mario from using the pipe?

THEY GOT ZE LIONS okay I'll stop

...You know what, I don't think the menu was what the Koopa was there to steal, I think they just ate at the restaurant and stole the menu from reflex or something. The probably stole the towels from the hotel they were staying at, too.


"Yeah, thanks for lending me Hotel Dusk, Dox."
"No problem. However, I'm afraid I have to ask you a couple of questions to prove that video game isn't a fake."
"...wha--"
"WHAT POPULAR MUSIC VIDEO INSPIRED THE GAME'S ART STYLE???????"

XD Hahahahahahah

how would an ELEPHANT be fake anyway would it be a Koopa in disguise or something

PINK GIRAFFE PURPLE RHINO RED ELEPHANT PINK ELEPHANTS BLACK FLAMINGO FOR SOME REASON WHAT

Maybe they were going to steal the whole thing but then they couldn't fit it in their magic bags, so they were like OH WELL WE TRIED and just took one stone. :B

I love some of these answers. "The Emperor's new clothes" HE HAD TO GO IN NAKED

Larry seems sort of oddly friendly towards Luigi.

I BET IT'S NOT RUSSIA

XD How do we know he didn't?

Willy Wonka! Willy Wonka! The amazing chocoGOD I'M GOING TO HELL

aaaaaaaaaaaa XD

HEY, THOSE SHIRTS ARE PAID FOR WITH TAXPAYER DOLLARS

Wait what where did that fire flower even come from?

No, your commentary was funny! :D

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

PENGUINS KILLED HIS FATHER AND RAPED HIS MOTHER!
I just think it's funny that he's going through the trouble of collecting a bunch of super-powered hairdryers when he can breathe fire |B

I'M A FAN OF THE HAPPY WHALES, MYSELF 8D

I know, it's like Animal Crossing or something. HEY MAN WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN
WHY HAVEN'T YOU BEEN PULLING ALL THE WEEDS, MAN

I know, I hate it when they don't the answers in the pamphlets. JUST WHAT KIND OF AN EDUCATIONAL GAME IS THIS ANYWAY

MAYBE IT'S FILLED WITH SNAKES

*cracks up*

larry/luigi otp omg

THE FIRE FLOWER MATERIALIZED FROM LUIGI'S RAGE

Heh, I'm glad you liked it! 8D

[melaniedavidson.livejournal.com]

A TRAGIC TALE

I know! But maybe it's a blind for something else? Like maybe he just made up that ridiculous scheme to get Mario and Luigi to come after him so he could catch them or something. :O

YEAH and it kind of makes me wonder if maybe the pamphlets have more pages, or something. :O Or maybe on the "adult" setting, you're supposed to research it yourself whereas if you say you're seven, all the questions will be from the pamphlets.

I JUST DON'T SEE HOW IT MAKES SENSE, IS WHAT I'M SAYIN'. I mean he can go out past it for some reason. :O

OTP the love that dare not speak its name because it's laughing too hard

8D

[wishwashing.livejournal.com]

WHY ARE THEIR FACES ALL SO FRIGHTENING

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

[umegaki.livejournal.com]

Saw this thanks to a friend

Oh god I lol'd

You = win. XD

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, I'm glad you enjoyed it! 8D Now I should really get around to finishing part 2...

[umegaki.livejournal.com]

I am now going to play this game thanks to you. XD

And edit because I didn't even notice the icon when I checked my comment notifications - eeee Hotel Dusk :D

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

It's kinda fun to pass the time with, I hafta say!

WOOOO HOTEL DUSK FAN 8D I love that game so much. I think even I heard something about how they were gonna make a sequel, but I don't know for sure. I HOPE THEY DO, THOUGH, THAT WOULD BE AWESOME

[umegaki.livejournal.com]

OMG A SEQUEL. I would SO adore that.

What Mila did in the end was so cute - y/y? :D

[tehsongsong.livejournal.com]

OH MAN YOU ARE SO TOTALLY AWESOME.

My brother and I played the PC version for this... god I must have only been 2 when it came out, so I have no idea how I remember it, but I do. Probably my parents got it for me thinking something like, "Hey, it's a game for $5, let's get it for them!"

I was definitely one of those kids that really got a kick out of the koopa's runaway animations. Especially the dancing hat one, oh man that was my favourite. My brother and I loved riding in the taxi.

Thank you for reminding me of this hilariously terrible part of my childhood. <3

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

Haha, this comment made my day. :D I'M PLEASED TO HEAR I WAS ABLE TO BRING BACK SOME HAPPY CHILDHOOD MEMORIES

And... dang, I wish I could think of more to say. But I'm happy that you're happy! :B

[bagofmagicfood.livejournal.com]

Ah, you know what I just realized? The line "I like pasta, I like wine" was changed to "I like pasta, all the time" in some other versions of this game. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MUST NOT LET CHILDREN KNOW OF ALCOHOL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Now I'm going to unload my responses to comments on both parts here so they'll be more easily seen.

gonna kick those krazy koopas in the kostal kartilage

I just love Mario's accent there. So much fun to imitate. It's like classic Strong Bad. But why does he sound different on the videophone during the game?

Important: Bowser looks good in a tux.

You can get away with anything in a tux. Why else would Mario accept candy from his mortal enemy? ...other than Mario being an overweight disappointment...

Are any of these sentences actually related?

Luigi overcomes his fear of heights in the span of about ten seconds. Although I can't understand why the walls would look SHORTER up close. Later in the game, Bowser exploits Mario's fear of the dark. It's all about phobias, this story.

I'm not totally sure what the age part does. I'm guessing it makes the pamphlets later on more dense, or maybe the hints people give you are more vague? Maybe the questions are harder? I dunno. I'll mess with it later.

I never got around to messing with it either. I just set it on Adult hoping to rack up the most points or see the most stuff that way. My guesses for the younger ages are that it gives you more time in each city, or it gives you fewer artifacts to find in each city. (Some cities have as many as 5 artifacts to find, while I believe the console versions only have 3 in every one. Or at least the NES version did. I didn't play the SNES version much.) Seems like too much work to actually rewrite the clues.

By the way, if you ever play this game for yourself then you should try to memorize the location you are when you enter, since it's the only way out (well, there's actually two exit pipes, I think, though it's easier to just memorize this one and not walk all over the place).

Actually, when I played it, Luigi didn't always start out at the Pokey pipe. It seemed to be a rare stroke of luck when that happened. But yeah, either you stumble across Pokey and memorize where he is if you're not done, or you stumble across a Pokey locater and trek straight there when you're done. I still think the whole locater system makes this game a lot more exciting than the console versions.

He looks sort of indignant like that, which makes the fact that he's apparently near sewage (?) oddly hilarious.

I think he's just exclaiming "Sewage!" as some kind of G-rated plumbing-related expletive.

I have no idea why the screenshots suddenly turn huge when I access the map.

They used a higher resolution mode for it. Gotta have plenty of detail when you add giant houses and HILLS WITH EYES to a map of the world. Don't forget to click on Antarctica for a nice aerial view of Bowser's castle.

TaxiOH GOD WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THAT DRIVER?

Michael Moore took too many stimulants, apparently.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot: in the actual deluxe version of MiM, you get real photos of all the landmarks and artifacts and stuff instead of these cheesy little computer drawings. Pretty impressive, I have to say! These are a lot funnier, though.

Just wait till you see how they depicted the panda bear.

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I didn't even notice that! BUT THEN, OF COURSE, WE WIND UP LEARNING ALL ABOUT GUINNESS ON THE NEXT LEVEL, SO Y'KNOW

Haha, now that you mention it, Mario's voice does seem a bit higher and less... Italian-sounding on the videophone. From what I could tell on that one YouTube video, anyway. :O Except now those videos have been deleted. DANGIT

Hmm, you might be right! I'll have to remember to test that out once I start actually playing again, because I really am curious about what the age thing does. I will discover your secrets, age system

Yeah, that was a mistake on my part. :B Should've said to memorize where the pipes are in general--not sure why I said when you enter. Durr. OH WELL
The locater system is certainly a relief from just running around and jumping on a million Koopas and hoping you get lucky, I will definitely give this game that.

Another thing I must make sure to do! :O Man, I didn't even notice Antarctica on the map.

I'VE YET TO COME ACROSS THE PANDA BEAR (unless I just forgot about it), BUT I AWAIT ITS APPEARANCE EAGERLY

[bagofmagicfood.livejournal.com]

One of the information booths was on an island, which you could only get to by taxi (????). Can you think of how much that would suck if you didn't have a taxi token? What if that was the last place you had to go to, and you couldn't go because you used all your tokens travelling around town?



Worse yet, what if you used your last taxi token to GET there and got stuck there? And saved your game? Now that's really getting sent to Alcatraz! Plus, remember that if you answer a question wrong, you have to leave the screen to try again, which means you need TWO MORE taxi tokens to retry. Yikes. I have to wonder if there was supposed to be some other mode of transportation we're not finding, since the game seems like it shouldn't be that broken.



And I don't think it actually had a plot, I think they were just walking in the snow, and then Mario fell in a pit, and then Luigi went into the castle. NO DIALOGUE WHATSOEVER, JUST FIGURE IT OUT BY YOURSELF



Don't forget Luigi saying "Glad you could drop in." Get it? DROP in? Although it's weird how that version turns the story around so that Mario's the one who's fallen behind and Luigi's the one who has his act together.



The info booths in Africa are run by monkeys



I think that was supposed to be Donkey Kong, considering that Peach and Toad were in the other booths in that video of the Nairobi level.



So wait, wouldn't there have to be two more Mario characters hosting the landmarks in the cities with 5 of them? Could one of them be WARIO? oh I hope I hope I hope



I go by the Super Mario Bros Movie canon, where they were born and grew up in Brookyln and stumbled into the Mushroom Kingdom through a MYSTEEEERIOUS sewer pipe.
...But, uh, then there's Yoshi's Island. NINTENDO ISN'T GOOD AT KEEPING ITS CANON STRAIGHT



And Nintendo got away with that retcon because they didn't specifically mention New York in any of the previous games that were produced specifically by Nintendo!



...Why is Bowser even implementing this incredibly poorly-thought-out plan? Does he just hate penguins, or something?



My guess is that he's getting revenge on the Mario brothers for liberating the Mushroom World by flooding their own world. That is, in the continuity where the Mario brothers are still from the real world.



...Heyyyyy, some of these quiz questions aren't in the pamphlets! :O



Yeah, that's because some of the answers can only be found by asking the wandering citizens about your treasures. Often only one of the five people has the one answer you need... So frustrating! So time-consuming!



Wait, so why was the cactus thing keeping Mario from using the pipe?



Somebody watched the demo to Super Mario World and fell in love with the image of Yoshi eating the Pokey?



I just wonder why the SNES version has the Pokey pop in and out of the pipe when a Piranha Plant would have been more fitting.

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

Aw man, something similar actually wound up happening to me. I mean, I didn't save, but I ran out of taxi tokens due to getting a question wrong and wound up getting stranded on this island, and had to start the WHOLE LEVEL all over again. And that was the next-to-last booth I had to visit, too. ADFGJAKDHG

OH LUIGI, EVER THE JOKESTER. Haha, isn't that the same opening where Mario falls through a hole into Antarctica (Mushroom Kingdom is above Antarctica?) and then falls into another that leads into Bowser's Castle or something? Or am I thinking of something else?

Hmm, that could be it! That sure didn't look like DK, though, that's weird :O

Aha, so the "what is this" question DOES have a purpose! 8D I can usually get by with just guessin', though. WINGING IT, MY SPECIALTY

I wonder the same thing! I guess they just wanted an excuse to do the whole Yoshi thing, so they had a Pokey blocking you instead? I mean, I can't really imagine Yoshi being able to eat a Pirahna Plant :O

[bagofmagicfood.livejournal.com]

So I was trying to guess the location before? Every time I opened and closed the map, it took a minute off the timer.

Now, see, that's how they encourage you to actually ask where you are rather than randomly guessing. It takes time for Yoshi to run all the way there from Antarctica and Luigi to wait to see if Yoshi arrives, after all! At least that's what I assume happens when you click the "Yoshi zoom" button. You don't lose time, though, if you just click on that crossed-out circle button. What's weird, though, is that in my copy of the game, if you choose that crossed-out circle button when you've already selected the correct city, Yoshi will arrive anyway, but you still won't lose any time. I think it may be a glitch.

By the way, I always imagined the timer as being in hours and minutes rather than minutes and seconds. Maybe it's because my computer runs the game slowly, or maybe I don't like to imagine Luigi being in such a mad rush.

Haha, I stopped the San Francisco thing ages ago. GOD BOWSER GET WITH THE TIMES

Yeah, too bad there's no way for the dialogue to take into account what order you finished the cities in on each floor.

...why is it casting a shadow on the sky?

Hey, it worked for those big blocks in Super Mario Bros. 3. Plus, they were BOLTED into the sky.

THE SOUTH POLE IS FLOODING! HAIRDRYERS ARE EVERYWHERE! INNOCENT PENGUINS ARE LEFT HOMELESS!

I love how Luigi is way too late to save the world from catastrophic global warming. I mean, if Antarctica is vanishing so rapidly that penguins would rather SWIM TO ANOTHER CONTINENT than just move a little further inland, I think we've got much bigger problems than a few homeless penguins. You'd think someone would try to get Hafta Havit to STOP SELLING THE BAD GUY PARTS FOR HIS DOOMSDAY DEVICE.

And I don't remember the Mona Lisa being painted on the side of the Musée du Louvre (if that's what that's supposed to be, anyway), but okay.

It'd be pretty awesome if it was, though. Just look at it! Imagine strolling by the MONA LISA PYRAMID!

...Roy's glasses are also flame retardant, apparently.

That always reminds me of the boss from Double Dragon 2 who disappeared but left his mask behind.

Now I wonder: If Morton were in this game, what would he leave behind? Would his star birthmark peel off somehow? Or just those few little strands of hair he's usually shown with? Actually, IS Morton in some version of the game? I read about an add-on disk that supposedly adds 10 more cities to the game, for those of us who love it THAT MUCH, and I assume that means there would be two more floors with the last two Koopa Kids. Or did the original version of the game come with only 15 cities like the SNES version, and I've been playing the expanded game all along? I'd really like to know!

I THINK you always get the same amount when you return stuff, I know you get extra money depending on how much time you have left when you finish, and I think you might lose money if you get a question wrong or something like that.

I think you can also get a bonus on returning one of the artifacts if you do it in a certain order or something, but I could never figure out how to do it after the first level. The newspaper always mentions one of the artifacts as having a bonus attached.

The NES version's point system is really worthless, though, since there isn't even a timer to affect your final score. The total at the end is always the same!

Ohhhhhhh so it's for RANSOM MONEY, not just to sell the stuff. Okay, that makes more sense.

Yeah, I also figured that's why you get quizzed before you return something: The landmark curators are all paranoid that Luigi is on the Koopas' side (He does wear green, after all), and they think he might give the reward money to Bowser! Although I can't understand why they assume a thief couldn't have done the same amount of research. Oh well.

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

BUT I CAN USUALLY FIGURE IT OUT WHEN I GET THERE, or someone will tell me what country I'm in and I just don't know the city and don't feel like asking around :O
Hmmm, 'never heard of that one! 'Might hafta try that out.

I always imagined minutes and seconds... I guess partially because the sky never changes color, and partially because it seemed closer to minutes and seconds in real time :O HOURS AND MINUTES MAKES MORE SENSE, THOUGH

That's the Mushroom Kingdom, though! YOU'D THINK THE REAL WORLD WOULD BE MORE... WELL...
REALISTIC.

Man, no kidding. THOUGH I GUESS NOBODY CAN EVEN BE BOTHERED TO STOP THE KOOPAS, LET ALONE BOWSER, SO WE JUST HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING OURSELVES |< I SWEAR

Man, and you could totally climb on top of it and slide down the side and stuff. WOULDN'T THAT BE AWESOME, GETTING TO SAY YOU SLID DOWN THE MONA LISA'S FACE

Maybe he'd leave his bracelet behind? It would be kind of funny if he left his hair behind, though. Just a pile of ashes with three strands of hair poking out. why is this making me laugh
And huh, I've never heard of that! And I didn't find anything on this quick Google search I did :O Do you know where you read about it? I'm all curious, now.

I HAVE ALSO NEVER HEARD OF THAT i know so much about this game can't you tell
That seems like a kind of odd point system, though. Huh.

[bagofmagicfood.livejournal.com]

And huh, I've never heard of that! And I didn't find anything on this quick Google search I did :O Do you know where you read about it? I'm all curious, now.

Here's an article from when the game was first released:
http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:giD_LPgYcmUJ:findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0NEW/is_1993_June_2/ai_14017235&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=3&gl=us (http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:giD_LPgYcmUJ:findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0NEW/is_1993_June_2/ai_14017235&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=3&gl=us)
(Yeah, I used a Google cache of an archived article... Let me know if the link doesn't work.)

http://www.mobygames.com/game/dos/mario-is-missing (http://www.mobygames.com/game/dos/mario-is-missing)
This description mentions the 25 cities twice, then mentions the add-on disk, which to me strongly suggests that there's a 35-city version out there somewhere. But, meh... Twenty-five dollars to continue that silly game? Maybe nobody bought it.

THOUGH I GUESS NOBODY CAN EVEN BE BOTHERED TO STOP THE KOOPAS, LET ALONE BOWSER, SO WE JUST HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING OURSELVES

I was just thinking, though: In Hafta Havit's defense, and in the defense of everyone who'd like to stop Bowser, Bowser is probably using a front company to receive the shipments of hairdryers, and then deliver them to him; and no one's figured out who the front company is yet. That seems to make a lot more sense than this mail-order company being cool with shipping to freaking ANTARCTICA at a big castle run by reptilian creatures.

So in a game that's supposed to be about geography and culture and ~*the world we all live in*~, we have freaking polar bears in the South Pole.

Well, see, the "Stockholm to Sacramento" line gave me the impression that this was a GLOBAL doomsday plot, so eventually polar bears would be affected too. But then in the rest of the game's story, everybody just worries about Antarctica. So I dunno.

That sure didn't look like DK, though, that's weird

Yeah, I know, the portraits of Mario, Toad, and Peach were so on-model. The Koopa Kids were pretty on-model, too, definitely putting the ones from the cartoons to shame.

I mean, I can't really imagine Yoshi being able to eat a Pirahna Plant

Yoshi can't eat Piranha Plants? Maybe not the big ones from the later games, but I was sure Yoshi could eat Piranha Plants in Super Mario World at least. Or, at least I'm pretty sure I saw him eat Piranha Plants in the cartoon based on it. Whatever. I was just thinking that the Piranha Plant could work like the Pokey does in the SNES version, where it stubbornly refuses to go back into the pipe until you ride Yoshi. The oldschool Piranha Plants were known for popping in and out of pipes, so it works.

That's the Mushroom Kingdom, though! YOU'D THINK THE REAL WORLD WOULD BE MORE... WELL...
REALISTIC.

Then again, it's the Mario version of the real world! Anything can still happen.