Mario is Missing (PC Version) Part 2

[backupdump002]

Get your own valentinr
It seems fun, I dunno |D

Forgot to mention this, but we didn't go to the Clinton speech thing after all since none of us felt like making the trip. we are so ambitious

Man, I think the power supply on this computer is failing, which worries me a bit. I should really get around to buying a new one.

I've been helping Mom clean up the old house, lately. Let it be known that I hate whoever moved there last. It took me two or three hours to clean the bathroom (and it is not a large bathroom, mind you) -- the tub was dirty, the floors filthy (literally PILES of dirt and dust covering the whole floor; I don't even know how many paper towels it took to clean it), and o...old toenail clippings behind the toilet. The carpet is so dirty that our vacuum cleaner couldn't even handle it and kept spitting out globs of dirt everywhere despite the bag not being full. You can't even sit down without having to brush all sorts of stuff off your pants when you get up.

The yard is the worst of it, though -- pretty much all the grass is dead. There's sticks all over the place because of that stupid ice storm, which we've been having to go around and pick up. I started raking up leaves at some point, and I... it... the leaves are literally just caked in, because they never raked them up and they got rained on and eventually merged into one solid mass. I seriously wasn't even raking, so much as peeling away one big thick layer of leaves to reveal dirt and a few clumps of dead grass underneath.

The saddest part is that these aren't the worst tenants we've had. adfughadfglafga. I am very ready to sell the place at this point, though apparently we have some other guy who's already wanting to rent it. GO AWAY ARGH >( I AM TIRED OF CLEANING UP AFTER YOU PEOPLE

On a side note, going to our old house now makes me feel very... tall. I used to think it was huge when I was little, but now I can easily touch most of the ceilings with my hand if I jump a bit. And I'm, what... 5'4", 5'5"? Then again, that house is, like, 40 years old, and older houses tend to have shorter ceilings in my experience. Still kind of an odd feeling, though.

SO ANYWAY, THAT'S ENOUGH WHINING OUT OF ME. HOW ABOUT SOME MORE MARIO IS MISSING!?

When we last left off we discovered the evils of Bowser's lame hairdryer scheme, learned stuff, and burned Larry. That's about all you need to know, really.

This episode is reeeeeeally short -- around 180 screenshots or so. I could actually fit two rounds in here, but, well, I don't feel like it. TAKE THAT! I might do that next time, though, just to speed things up a bit.

Previous Episodes





WELP, TIME TO LOAD 'ER UP




IT'S ROY who is... g...grabbing his crotch for some reason.

What is wrong with this game



LET'S GET OUT OF HERE




I just imagine this guy speaking in a really flamboyant lisp. And Koopa paws are ruthless



Dr. Wily really gets around.



OR DOES IT???



WONT SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK ABOUT THE PENGUINS
And it's a good thing he mentioned the newspaper, because I would've forgotten to check it if he hadn't :B

Also, one thing that I really look forward to when I play this game, if nothing else, is getting Mario's phone calls. "LITTLE BROTHER," AWWWW what is wrong with me



Uhhhh, oh yeah. Newspaper.




Yeeeeeeup. Like I said, you weren't really missing much with these. I'll still include them from now on, though, just for fun 8D

Also, "Bowser's Koopa Critters" sounds like the name of a company of some sort. Why do I want to say carpet cleaning



MAN I LOVE IT WHEN THIS HAPPENS




ALL GEARED UP AND READY TO GO make phone calls



EARLY FLAMEWARS



Voice clip of this guy, or at least how he sounds in Africa. I have no clue if they do different accents for each city, though it would make sense if they did.

On that note, that is the worst attempt at an African accent ever.





Guy: D:



What the heck, how did he even get this angle. WEEGEE CAN FLY



But remember, the main requirement for becoming an Evzone is bein' able to dance real good





BUT THEY WAY THEY DREW IT LOOKS MORE BALLET SKIRT-ISH TO ME




BEST GUARDS EVER

And I like imagining Luigi standing in the street and watching them with that creepy smile on his face and a camera



Hahaha, that first sentence was really redundant. WAS BUILT TO HONOR ATHENA WHO WAS THE GODDESS OF ATHENS WHO GAVE GREECE'S CAPITAL CITY ITS NAME WHICH IS ATHENS







Royal Rainbow!



"You know what this building needs? moar boobs |D"



I'm probably going to get eaten alive for that comment




...I wonder if anyone got this wrong. WELL WHATEVER IT IS IT IS DEFINITELY NOT DISCO





huhadgadh creepy faceless figures in the sky




You know, Yoshi must have organs of steel to be able to eat those things



That sounds kind of nice right now, actually. Why is it so cold :<



AWAY WE GO




Stealing an incredibly valuable historical item and then tying a giant balloon to yourself to try and float away = very clever



I heard Spanish-sounding guitars in the music, so I deduced that we were in Spain. Madrid wound up being the last place I guessed, though...



...which actually wound up being kind of sucky. See where my mouse is pointing? I forgot to mention this in the last episode, but that's a timer. But it doesn't run like any normal timer, oh no. Instead, it decides how long a certain activity should take and shaves off time based on that. So I was trying to guess the location before? Every time I opened and closed the map, it took a minute off the timer. It didn't take me a minute to do that at all, but it just decided that I did, and took off time. And I don't think it was a penalty for getting the locations wrong or anything, since it did the same thing when I got it right. What the heck.

Luckily, you don't lose or anything if the timer runs out. You just don't get a time bonus added to your score. It's still dumb, though.

What's weird, though, is that riding in the taxi takes ten seconds. It takes a minute to glance at the map, but it takes ten seconds to call a cab and drive across town. I SAID IT BEFORE AND I WILL SAY IT AGAIN: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS GAME



Anyway, enough ranting. I actually watched a video of Picasso painting not too long ago 8D I just remember there being this one part where this guy was telling Picasso that they only had five minutes of film left and that he needed to hurry up, and so Picasso started painting something in five minutes and every now and then the guy would butt in with WE ONLY HAVE X MINUTES LEFT HURRY OMG, and once Picasso was done painting the guy was like "lol j/k we're fine i was just messing with you" and it showed this close-up of Picasso's eyes and he was all angry



And I really like that little picture of Guernica on the bottom. HAAAAAY GUUUUYS




I actually clicked "town of Guernica," but didn't get a shot for some reason.





...so it's "Juan Bullfight"?




Totally guessing. You'll also notice that my timer ran out, here.





PURPLE AFRO








COPTERWEEGEE SNAPS A MEMENTO OF A JOB WELL DONE!!!!!




So how come Luigi gets stuck in the pipe when he's GOING to cities, but fits just fine when he's leaving?



YOUR TAUNTS DON'T SCARE ME ROY

Also, I really hope they waterproofed those hairdryers or something, because uhhhh





EVIDENCE IS SCARCE because it's not like Bowser is the king of the Koopas or anything

Man, I can't wait to play as Giga Bowser in Brawl. That's going to be so awesome.



THE WAR AGAINST TURTLES



Haha, I stopped the San Francisco thing ages ago. GOD BOWSER GET WITH THE TIMES

AND STOP WALKING IN WHILE MARIO IS ON THE PHONE




That cop is walkin' the walk





Though it would be sorta cool if some Muslim aliens decided to drop by build this big ol' mosque for everyone.





...why is it casting a shadow on the sky?



Yeah man whenever I see severed heads that just gets me right in the mood to go shoppin'



"Yeah, it'd really be great if you could take this guy off my hands for me, here. It's just-- he just keeps shouting 'kuh-kuh-cobra' or something, y'know, and it's starting to give me a headache, and just..."




WHY DO I KEEP READING "OPERAS" AS "OPRAHS"




THAT SURE IS A SHINY MAN





HA HA!
Corpses.





PAMPER YOURSELF WITH A RELAXING MUD BATH AND FOOT MASSAGE



PRESENT DAY CAR LOTS!!!!!!





Bad dude, president, etc.




Heh, I actually knew that stuff without reading the pamphlet 8D I KNEW MY KNOWLEDGE OF CAMELS WOULD AID ME SOMEDAY

And that is one saucy-lookin' camel.




Aaaaaalllllllmooooooossssttt




THE CHIEF WANTS ME TO TELL YOU THAT TURTLES, TURTLES!!!



Hahaha, I love this. THE SOUTH POLE IS FLOODING! HAIRDRYERS ARE EVERYWHERE! INNOCENT PENGUINS ARE LEFT HOMELESS!
And Luigi's still lookin' fer his brother :|



there's just something not right about this line




And I just did a Google image search since I didn't remember Mexico City looking so dingy and depressing (and it's not), and came up with this (NSFW, though it's tasteful). It's like MGS2 times a billion :<





PREEEEECIOUUUUUS





SADLY THE ZOCALO IS NOT THIS COLORFUL, THOUGH IF IT WAS THEN I IMAGINE IT WOULD BLIND YOU IN THE DAYLIGHT




...I'm sorry, but that bottom pic just looks like burning camels to me.




I am v. disappointed with the lack of wacky answers to this question. THEY COULD'VE DONE SO MUCH







AND "GREAT CHAMPION OF JUSTICE" DOESN'T COUNT




Y'know, that's actually not a bad rendition!




FOR GOD'S SAKE WHY DID THE KOOPAS GO TO A FINE ARTS PALACE ONLY TO STEAL THE FRIGGING CATALOG?

I MEAN SERIOUSLY NO WONDER BOWSER HAS ANGER PROBLEMS






And man, I had no idea Mexico City was so... navy blue.



What the heck is that smell. Wtf. It's like someone's frying garlic or something.





Heh, restaurants. WHY, THIS SOUP IS DELICIOUS! GOD BLESS YOU, NOBLE CHEF! I SHALL BUILD AN ANGEL IN YOUR HONOR!






Are you the guy whose been writing anti-Aztec stuff on the bathroom wall?



UH, YEAH, LET'S GO WITH THAT





You gotta love how inconsistent this game is with the background colors in the photos. NAVY BLUE, NAVY BLUE, NAVY BLUE... BRIGHT ORANGE |D




GOD, FINALLY >(



EMERGENCY, EMERGENCY
EMERGENCY, EMERGENCY
INCOMING ENEMY FIGHTERS
PREPARE FOR LAUNCH




Dang, that is one fast secretary. IT'S ALMOST AS IF... THEY KNEW I WAS COMING...

Also, "undetected?" If the Koopas are stealing things all over the world, shouldn't this already be pretty big news? Why haven't they heightened security?



AND WHY ISN'T ANYONE DEALING WITH THE HAIRDRYERS THING? COULDN'T THEY FLY OVER THERE OR SOMETHING? AND WHY CAN'T I STOP LISTENING TO THIS SONG?



BUT I STILL HAVE... three..? I dunno. THREE LEVELS TO GO :<





Though I'm sure the kids (and me) readin' this immediately thought of the Disney movie. If that even came out before this game. MEHHHH RESEARCH




GEDDIT CUZ IM GOFFIK



THE HUNCHBACK OF HUNCHBACK




This actually hurts my eyes a little





Aww, a little kid might not know that! Or maybe not. ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE THOSE DAAAYYYS





And I don't remember the Mona Lisa being painted on the side of the Musée du Louvre (if that's what that's supposed to be, anyway), but okay. NO I WILL NOT STOP NITPICKING



Oh yeah, I tried messing with the age thing...




Uhhhhh huh. And now let's see what it says for adults.



...and nothing is different, from what I can tell. I also checked the questions, and those didn't seem any different, either... so what the heck? Does it have to do with points? Items? Is it just for personalization? Wtf is with the age thing? Why does it exist? Why? WHY?

Though really, that's going to bug me. I WILL LEARN YOUR SECRETS, MARIO IS MISSING!



Anyway :B





Secret: The true reason for building the Eiffel Tower was to have laser light shows of maximum hardcority.

Shhhhhh



Haha, wonder if they got paid for that. For some reason I keep thinking of those old cartoons like the Flintstones or something where they'd dump garbage in a random dinosaur and the dinosaur would turn to the camera and be like WELL, IT'S A LIVING, and



And for some reason every time I look at that guy's hat I just think of ashtrays.




I actually chuckled a bit at the "Paris Fire Department." IT'S FUNNY SHUT UP



We have an eternal flame-type thing where I live, actually, where it just burns on top of a tower and they supply it with gas or something. WHERE'S OUR SPOTLIGHT, HUH



IN PARIS, ALL THE STREETS ARE PAINTED A RICH SHADE OF PURPLE




WOOOOO DONE WITH THIS LEVEEEELLLLL



PLUGGING IN HAIRDRYERS AND INTERRUPTING MARIO WHILE HE'S ON THE PHONE

'TIS THE LIFE OF THE KOOPA KING



Would you stop putting your hands there



INVISIBLE FIREBALL




And you'd think the Koopalings would try to dodge or attack Luigi or something instead of derp around in front of an oncoming ball of fire, but whatever. NITPICKING




...Roy's glasses are also flame retardant, apparently. AT LEAST THE KOOPALING'S ASHES ARE RECOGNIZABLE SO THERE SHOULD BE NO TROUBLE AT THE FUNERALS



we have witnessed a terrible murder on this night

And that seems like a good place to stop! WHAT WILL THAT CRAZY OL' WEEGEE AND HIS PECULIARLY-SHAPED BODY GET INTO NEXT? FIND OUT NEXT TIME!


APOLLO JUSTICE ON THE 19TH OH BOY OH BOY. All the PW fans are playing through all three games to get ready, and I'm going to trryyyy and do the same, though God knows if I'll ever finish in time. OH WELL WOO

Now to finish working on my wiki page for screencappery. Yes, that was a blatent advertisement.