Mario is Missing (PC Version) Part 2

[backupdump002]

Get your own valentinr
It seems fun, I dunno |D

Forgot to mention this, but we didn't go to the Clinton speech thing after all since none of us felt like making the trip. we are so ambitious

Man, I think the power supply on this computer is failing, which worries me a bit. I should really get around to buying a new one.

I've been helping Mom clean up the old house, lately. Let it be known that I hate whoever moved there last. It took me two or three hours to clean the bathroom (and it is not a large bathroom, mind you) -- the tub was dirty, the floors filthy (literally PILES of dirt and dust covering the whole floor; I don't even know how many paper towels it took to clean it), and o...old toenail clippings behind the toilet. The carpet is so dirty that our vacuum cleaner couldn't even handle it and kept spitting out globs of dirt everywhere despite the bag not being full. You can't even sit down without having to brush all sorts of stuff off your pants when you get up.

The yard is the worst of it, though -- pretty much all the grass is dead. There's sticks all over the place because of that stupid ice storm, which we've been having to go around and pick up. I started raking up leaves at some point, and I... it... the leaves are literally just caked in, because they never raked them up and they got rained on and eventually merged into one solid mass. I seriously wasn't even raking, so much as peeling away one big thick layer of leaves to reveal dirt and a few clumps of dead grass underneath.

The saddest part is that these aren't the worst tenants we've had. adfughadfglafga. I am very ready to sell the place at this point, though apparently we have some other guy who's already wanting to rent it. GO AWAY ARGH >( I AM TIRED OF CLEANING UP AFTER YOU PEOPLE

On a side note, going to our old house now makes me feel very... tall. I used to think it was huge when I was little, but now I can easily touch most of the ceilings with my hand if I jump a bit. And I'm, what... 5'4", 5'5"? Then again, that house is, like, 40 years old, and older houses tend to have shorter ceilings in my experience. Still kind of an odd feeling, though.

SO ANYWAY, THAT'S ENOUGH WHINING OUT OF ME. HOW ABOUT SOME MORE MARIO IS MISSING!?

When we last left off we discovered the evils of Bowser's lame hairdryer scheme, learned stuff, and burned Larry. That's about all you need to know, really.

This episode is reeeeeeally short -- around 180 screenshots or so. I could actually fit two rounds in here, but, well, I don't feel like it. TAKE THAT! I might do that next time, though, just to speed things up a bit.

Previous Episodes





WELP, TIME TO LOAD 'ER UP




IT'S ROY who is... g...grabbing his crotch for some reason.

What is wrong with this game



LET'S GET OUT OF HERE




I just imagine this guy speaking in a really flamboyant lisp. And Koopa paws are ruthless



Dr. Wily really gets around.



OR DOES IT???



WONT SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK ABOUT THE PENGUINS
And it's a good thing he mentioned the newspaper, because I would've forgotten to check it if he hadn't :B

Also, one thing that I really look forward to when I play this game, if nothing else, is getting Mario's phone calls. "LITTLE BROTHER," AWWWW what is wrong with me



Uhhhh, oh yeah. Newspaper.




Yeeeeeeup. Like I said, you weren't really missing much with these. I'll still include them from now on, though, just for fun 8D

Also, "Bowser's Koopa Critters" sounds like the name of a company of some sort. Why do I want to say carpet cleaning



MAN I LOVE IT WHEN THIS HAPPENS




ALL GEARED UP AND READY TO GO make phone calls



EARLY FLAMEWARS



Voice clip of this guy, or at least how he sounds in Africa. I have no clue if they do different accents for each city, though it would make sense if they did.

On that note, that is the worst attempt at an African accent ever.





Guy: D:



What the heck, how did he even get this angle. WEEGEE CAN FLY



But remember, the main requirement for becoming an Evzone is bein' able to dance real good





BUT THEY WAY THEY DREW IT LOOKS MORE BALLET SKIRT-ISH TO ME




BEST GUARDS EVER

And I like imagining Luigi standing in the street and watching them with that creepy smile on his face and a camera



Hahaha, that first sentence was really redundant. WAS BUILT TO HONOR ATHENA WHO WAS THE GODDESS OF ATHENS WHO GAVE GREECE'S CAPITAL CITY ITS NAME WHICH IS ATHENS







Royal Rainbow!



"You know what this building needs? moar boobs |D"



I'm probably going to get eaten alive for that comment




...I wonder if anyone got this wrong. WELL WHATEVER IT IS IT IS DEFINITELY NOT DISCO





huhadgadh creepy faceless figures in the sky




You know, Yoshi must have organs of steel to be able to eat those things



That sounds kind of nice right now, actually. Why is it so cold :<



AWAY WE GO




Stealing an incredibly valuable historical item and then tying a giant balloon to yourself to try and float away = very clever



I heard Spanish-sounding guitars in the music, so I deduced that we were in Spain. Madrid wound up being the last place I guessed, though...



...which actually wound up being kind of sucky. See where my mouse is pointing? I forgot to mention this in the last episode, but that's a timer. But it doesn't run like any normal timer, oh no. Instead, it decides how long a certain activity should take and shaves off time based on that. So I was trying to guess the location before? Every time I opened and closed the map, it took a minute off the timer. It didn't take me a minute to do that at all, but it just decided that I did, and took off time. And I don't think it was a penalty for getting the locations wrong or anything, since it did the same thing when I got it right. What the heck.

Luckily, you don't lose or anything if the timer runs out. You just don't get a time bonus added to your score. It's still dumb, though.

What's weird, though, is that riding in the taxi takes ten seconds. It takes a minute to glance at the map, but it takes ten seconds to call a cab and drive across town. I SAID IT BEFORE AND I WILL SAY IT AGAIN: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS GAME



Anyway, enough ranting. I actually watched a video of Picasso painting not too long ago 8D I just remember there being this one part where this guy was telling Picasso that they only had five minutes of film left and that he needed to hurry up, and so Picasso started painting something in five minutes and every now and then the guy would butt in with WE ONLY HAVE X MINUTES LEFT HURRY OMG, and once Picasso was done painting the guy was like "lol j/k we're fine i was just messing with you" and it showed this close-up of Picasso's eyes and he was all angry



And I really like that little picture of Guernica on the bottom. HAAAAAY GUUUUYS




I actually clicked "town of Guernica," but didn't get a shot for some reason.





...so it's "Juan Bullfight"?




Totally guessing. You'll also notice that my timer ran out, here.





PURPLE AFRO








COPTERWEEGEE SNAPS A MEMENTO OF A JOB WELL DONE!!!!!




So how come Luigi gets stuck in the pipe when he's GOING to cities, but fits just fine when he's leaving?



YOUR TAUNTS DON'T SCARE ME ROY

Also, I really hope they waterproofed those hairdryers or something, because uhhhh





EVIDENCE IS SCARCE because it's not like Bowser is the king of the Koopas or anything

Man, I can't wait to play as Giga Bowser in Brawl. That's going to be so awesome.



THE WAR AGAINST TURTLES



Haha, I stopped the San Francisco thing ages ago. GOD BOWSER GET WITH THE TIMES

AND STOP WALKING IN WHILE MARIO IS ON THE PHONE




That cop is walkin' the walk





Though it would be sorta cool if some Muslim aliens decided to drop by build this big ol' mosque for everyone.





...why is it casting a shadow on the sky?



Yeah man whenever I see severed heads that just gets me right in the mood to go shoppin'



"Yeah, it'd really be great if you could take this guy off my hands for me, here. It's just-- he just keeps shouting 'kuh-kuh-cobra' or something, y'know, and it's starting to give me a headache, and just..."




WHY DO I KEEP READING "OPERAS" AS "OPRAHS"




THAT SURE IS A SHINY MAN





HA HA!
Corpses.





PAMPER YOURSELF WITH A RELAXING MUD BATH AND FOOT MASSAGE



PRESENT DAY CAR LOTS!!!!!!





Bad dude, president, etc.




Heh, I actually knew that stuff without reading the pamphlet 8D I KNEW MY KNOWLEDGE OF CAMELS WOULD AID ME SOMEDAY

And that is one saucy-lookin' camel.




Aaaaaalllllllmooooooossssttt




THE CHIEF WANTS ME TO TELL YOU THAT TURTLES, TURTLES!!!



Hahaha, I love this. THE SOUTH POLE IS FLOODING! HAIRDRYERS ARE EVERYWHERE! INNOCENT PENGUINS ARE LEFT HOMELESS!
And Luigi's still lookin' fer his brother :|



there's just something not right about this line




And I just did a Google image search since I didn't remember Mexico City looking so dingy and depressing (and it's not), and came up with this (NSFW, though it's tasteful). It's like MGS2 times a billion :<





PREEEEECIOUUUUUS





SADLY THE ZOCALO IS NOT THIS COLORFUL, THOUGH IF IT WAS THEN I IMAGINE IT WOULD BLIND YOU IN THE DAYLIGHT




...I'm sorry, but that bottom pic just looks like burning camels to me.




I am v. disappointed with the lack of wacky answers to this question. THEY COULD'VE DONE SO MUCH







AND "GREAT CHAMPION OF JUSTICE" DOESN'T COUNT




Y'know, that's actually not a bad rendition!




FOR GOD'S SAKE WHY DID THE KOOPAS GO TO A FINE ARTS PALACE ONLY TO STEAL THE FRIGGING CATALOG?

I MEAN SERIOUSLY NO WONDER BOWSER HAS ANGER PROBLEMS






And man, I had no idea Mexico City was so... navy blue.



What the heck is that smell. Wtf. It's like someone's frying garlic or something.





Heh, restaurants. WHY, THIS SOUP IS DELICIOUS! GOD BLESS YOU, NOBLE CHEF! I SHALL BUILD AN ANGEL IN YOUR HONOR!






Are you the guy whose been writing anti-Aztec stuff on the bathroom wall?



UH, YEAH, LET'S GO WITH THAT





You gotta love how inconsistent this game is with the background colors in the photos. NAVY BLUE, NAVY BLUE, NAVY BLUE... BRIGHT ORANGE |D




GOD, FINALLY >(



EMERGENCY, EMERGENCY
EMERGENCY, EMERGENCY
INCOMING ENEMY FIGHTERS
PREPARE FOR LAUNCH




Dang, that is one fast secretary. IT'S ALMOST AS IF... THEY KNEW I WAS COMING...

Also, "undetected?" If the Koopas are stealing things all over the world, shouldn't this already be pretty big news? Why haven't they heightened security?



AND WHY ISN'T ANYONE DEALING WITH THE HAIRDRYERS THING? COULDN'T THEY FLY OVER THERE OR SOMETHING? AND WHY CAN'T I STOP LISTENING TO THIS SONG?



BUT I STILL HAVE... three..? I dunno. THREE LEVELS TO GO :<





Though I'm sure the kids (and me) readin' this immediately thought of the Disney movie. If that even came out before this game. MEHHHH RESEARCH




GEDDIT CUZ IM GOFFIK



THE HUNCHBACK OF HUNCHBACK




This actually hurts my eyes a little





Aww, a little kid might not know that! Or maybe not. ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE THOSE DAAAYYYS





And I don't remember the Mona Lisa being painted on the side of the Musée du Louvre (if that's what that's supposed to be, anyway), but okay. NO I WILL NOT STOP NITPICKING



Oh yeah, I tried messing with the age thing...




Uhhhhh huh. And now let's see what it says for adults.



...and nothing is different, from what I can tell. I also checked the questions, and those didn't seem any different, either... so what the heck? Does it have to do with points? Items? Is it just for personalization? Wtf is with the age thing? Why does it exist? Why? WHY?

Though really, that's going to bug me. I WILL LEARN YOUR SECRETS, MARIO IS MISSING!



Anyway :B





Secret: The true reason for building the Eiffel Tower was to have laser light shows of maximum hardcority.

Shhhhhh



Haha, wonder if they got paid for that. For some reason I keep thinking of those old cartoons like the Flintstones or something where they'd dump garbage in a random dinosaur and the dinosaur would turn to the camera and be like WELL, IT'S A LIVING, and



And for some reason every time I look at that guy's hat I just think of ashtrays.




I actually chuckled a bit at the "Paris Fire Department." IT'S FUNNY SHUT UP



We have an eternal flame-type thing where I live, actually, where it just burns on top of a tower and they supply it with gas or something. WHERE'S OUR SPOTLIGHT, HUH



IN PARIS, ALL THE STREETS ARE PAINTED A RICH SHADE OF PURPLE




WOOOOO DONE WITH THIS LEVEEEELLLLL



PLUGGING IN HAIRDRYERS AND INTERRUPTING MARIO WHILE HE'S ON THE PHONE

'TIS THE LIFE OF THE KOOPA KING



Would you stop putting your hands there



INVISIBLE FIREBALL




And you'd think the Koopalings would try to dodge or attack Luigi or something instead of derp around in front of an oncoming ball of fire, but whatever. NITPICKING




...Roy's glasses are also flame retardant, apparently. AT LEAST THE KOOPALING'S ASHES ARE RECOGNIZABLE SO THERE SHOULD BE NO TROUBLE AT THE FUNERALS



we have witnessed a terrible murder on this night

And that seems like a good place to stop! WHAT WILL THAT CRAZY OL' WEEGEE AND HIS PECULIARLY-SHAPED BODY GET INTO NEXT? FIND OUT NEXT TIME!


APOLLO JUSTICE ON THE 19TH OH BOY OH BOY. All the PW fans are playing through all three games to get ready, and I'm going to trryyyy and do the same, though God knows if I'll ever finish in time. OH WELL WOO

Now to finish working on my wiki page for screencappery. Yes, that was a blatent advertisement.

Comments

[puddinchan.livejournal.com]

Why the HECK ARE THE BUILDINGS IN WEIRD COLOURS? It maek no sense.

Oh! Also... http://puddinchan.livejournal.com/8642.html Whaddaya think?

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

I KNOW, RIGHT? Maybe it was just to make them stand out more to the kids or something, and... well, they certainly do stand out, but uhhhhh

[melaniedavidson.livejournal.com]

the tub was dirty, the floors filthy (literally PILES of dirt and dust covering the whole floor; I don't even know how many paper towels it took to clean it), and o...old toenail clippings behind the toilet.

EW oh my god D: how could someone even stand to live in it like that? D:

IT'S ROY who is... g...grabbing his crotch for some reason.

Hahahahahahahahahha oh god. I... THINK they were just trying to have him have his hands clasped in front of him. I HOPE.
Side note does it look kind of like the doors have Koopaling heads on trophy plaques above them? Or is that just me?

Also I love how they just assume Luigi already knows what their big lame plan is, so they don't care about telling him the details, how it's progressing, and so on.

hahah arch made of gyros. :B I always get a kick out of the "lol no" answers.

Dude they put a line about the temple having been a harem in a kids' game? I MEAN I didn't know it was supposed to be educational like that. :B

I... hm. Does the money have any in-game use at all? I mean, the taxis just take tokens and I can't think of anything else you've spent the money on... and presumably you have to return all the stolen stuff for each level ANYWAY so you'll end up with the same amount of money no matter what... right? So what's the money for? :O

Why does she call the turtles extremely small? :o I mean, they're about as big as a person! Maybe she's a giantess.

Whaaaaat that seems... arbitrary. o_O Especially since USUALLY a game pauses when you look at the map or whatever.

Ooooo you know what, I bet changing the age settings affects the number of cities you can choose from. Like maybe on the lowest setting there's only one city per country or something, so if you'd guessed that it was in Spain then you couldn't get it wrong from there.

and once Picasso was done painting the guy was like "lol j/k we're fine i was just messing with you" and it showed this close-up of Picasso's eyes and he was all angry

Ahahahahahhahaahah XD that was... kinda mean, though.

You know I was going to say it was weird that there always just happened to be an informational thing about exactly what the Koopas stole, but you know... maybe they decided what to steal based on the informational things. :B

Also, I really hope they waterproofed those hairdryers or something, because uhhhh

Hahahahahahahah that would be kind of hilarious XD

Ohhhhhhh so it's for RANSOM MONEY, not just to sell the stuff. Okay, that makes more sense. Except for the menu.

BUILT BY EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS

Hahahahahhaha oh MAN you know if I were looking for landmarks and stuff to steal, a deadly snake would be pretty much the last thing on my list. Even after restaurant menus.

...And yet the tile in the little picture just has boring squares on it. :<

How did they even connect the saddle theft with the thefts of landmarky stuff? Is it a special saddle or something?

...I also love how that's not actually a dromedary in the picture. TWO HUMPS. lol come on guys

what... naked person pile... what... what or I guess they're on top of a hill or stairs or something since you probably wouldn't really want to have a pile of people like that since the ones at the bottom would be squished, but still... what...

One tile. The Koopas are really getting lazy, or something, I mean geez.

...Okay, if they stole a whole freaking mural, I take that back. XD

hahahhahahahahahaha THE CATALOG
I think at this point it's pretty clear the Koopas have no concept of value or pickiness.
On the other hand he did give Luigi $900 for it so. :B

"...their little paws full of my artifacts. And restaurant menus and random crap like that, too, but also artifacts."

Well you'd also think they'd stop leaving Fire Flowers lying around but :B

oh wow you're actually updating your page! ♥ WOOT I was afraid nobody was going to do anything with their pages or keep them updated or anything and they would just... languish. :X (And I dunno, I'd leave Squaresoft and Square Enix separate. :O I mean, they're right next to each other alphabetically anyway, soooo....) THIS MAKES ME HAPPY THOUGH. 8D PEASLEY &HEARTS;

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

I KNOW asdfsaf and it's not like they couldn't afford cleaning supplies or anything like that, they were just lazy. D: And I guess I can see why they didn't know how to clean the yard or anything since they were apparently from California and never even HAD a yard, but that's still no use to leave the inside the way it was. the toenail clippings will traumatize me for life

I REALLY HOPE SO, THOUGH WHENEVER HE DOES THAT IN THE GAME HE SORT OF BRINGS HIS ARMS OUT THEN COMES BACK AND SMACKS HIS CROTCH REPEATEDLY BEFORE PROCEEDING TO DANCE AROUND AND FLASH GANG SIGNS, SO I REALLY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO THINK ANYMORE

There are Koopaling plaques indeed! :O They're like little bizarre family photos.

OH MAN I FORGOT TO MENTION THE HAREM THING I cracked up so hard when I saw that. AH, KIDDY GAMES

I can't remember if you ever buy anything in this game, though I seriously doubt that you do, so I'm preeeetty sure that money is just this game's point system :O I THINK you always get the same amount when you return stuff, I know you get extra money depending on how much time you have left when you finish, and I think you might lose money if you get a question wrong or something like that. I'm not sure, though. I AM SO OBSERVANT

Hmm, maybe that's it! I didn't think of that. I'll have to make sure to test that out next time. I WILL HAVE YOU YET, MARIO IS MISSING

It was (though it still cracked me up)! :< I kind of wonder what was going through Picasso's mind when that guy said that.

Hahahaha, not to mention the baby elephant in the last episode. NOT QUITE AS BAD AS A POISONOUS SNAKE, BUT IT COULD VERY WELL DO A NUMBER ON THEM

MAN I HAVE NO IDEA. Just-- I wonder what having a giant group of naked people laying on a hill is supposed to even represent? WE ALL COME FROM DIFFERENT WALKS OF LIFE AND SOCIAL STATUSES BUT IN THE END WE'RE ALL ONE OR SOMETHING WHAT IS GOING ON HERE

I am happy that you're happy! :D I would've done it a lot sooner, but it just kept slipping my mind. why does my memory have to suck argh
Heh, it's funny -- I kind of worried that I wouldn't know what to say or that it'd be hard to keep track of, but it was actually oddly addicting! I HAD A LOT OF FUN WITH IT as you could probably tell from my tl;dr rambling
And yeah, you're probably right about the Squaresoft/Enix thing. I mean, they technically are different companies, I think :O And already right next to each other, like you said. WOO

OH PEASLEY WHY DO YOU ENAMOUR ME SO <3

[melaniedavidson.livejournal.com]

hahahahahah GANG SIGNS oh my god. XD what... why.... XD

I guess but to me it looks like some kind of messed-up trophy room.

Huhn. :O I guess that makes sense, if it's the point system.

Oh definitely. XD And I kind of wonder why the guy would say that, anyway.

And it's just in someone's photobucket or imageshack account or whatever so there's not even any CONTEXT and even the file name I mean what

And it came out great! :D I HOPE PEOPLE HAVE FUN WITH IT :O since that's kind of the point. That, and making it not be one huge job for one person cough Zarla cough to be doing all the time.

HE'S SO CHARMING <3

[zarla.livejournal.com]

DID YOU KNOW THAT CORRIDA IS ALSO SLANG FOR A CUMSHOT? IT'S TRUE! OH CAPCOM.

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

I THINK I MAY HAVE HEARD SOMETHING ABOUT THAT, NOW THAT I THINK OF IT

OH CAPCOM, YOU AND YOUR VULGAR SLANG AND LOLCAT CONTESTS

[zarla.livejournal.com]

I THINK THEY CHANGED HIS NAME TO RIVERA SOMEWHERE
WHICH IS NOT BAD IF YOU ASK ME

[neutraltwin.livejournal.com]

Okay, so I had a whole comment written out last night when I read this, but my computer decided it would be very funny to freeze right before I hit the comment button. Wargh.
It was full of sleep-deprived silliness though, so perhaps that's for the best. :B

I'm still interested in the Koopa Kids, though. Do we ever see them again after this and Super Mario World?

[zekkass.livejournal.com]

You do see them in Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga, although they don't talk.

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

I FEEL YOUR PAIN :< Drives me nuts when my computer does that.

Let's seeeee... checking Wikipedia here since my memory sucks, but the Koopalings are apparently in Super Mario Bros. 3, Super Mario World, this, Yoshi's Safari, Hotel Mario (lol), aaaaand Superstar Saga, like zekkass mentioned. Hahaha, then I guess there's also the Mario cartoon and Japanese OVAs, if those count. :B

[batneko.livejournal.com]

I tried to learn, I really did, but I can't focus on anything but the PILE OF NAKED PEOPLE.

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

THEY DO MANAGE TO DIVERT YOUR ATTENTION, I HAVE TO SAY

[zekkass.livejournal.com]

*snickers* MULTICOLORED TOMBS! :D

This game is so silly and ridiculous. Why do they assume that'll please kids?

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

WHO KNOWS though I guess, to be fair, I am getting a kick out of playing this game |B Though probably not for the reasons originally intended.

[eraine.livejournal.com]

I have to say it because NO ONE ELSE DID.

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS CARMEN SANDIEGO DOCTOR WILY

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

OOOOOO BOP
BADOOP BOO-EY
OOOOOOO BOP
BADOOP BOO-EY

[bagofmagicfood.livejournal.com]

One of the information booths was on an island, which you could only get to by taxi (????). Can you think of how much that would suck if you didn't have a taxi token? What if that was the last place you had to go to, and you couldn't go because you used all your tokens travelling around town?

Worse yet, what if you used your last taxi token to GET there and got stuck there? And saved your game? Now that's really getting sent to Alcatraz! Plus, remember that if you answer a question wrong, you have to leave the screen to try again, which means you need TWO MORE taxi tokens to retry. Yikes. I have to wonder if there was supposed to be some other mode of transportation we're not finding, since the game seems like it shouldn't be that broken.

And I don't think it actually had a plot, I think they were just walking in the snow, and then Mario fell in a pit, and then Luigi went into the castle. NO DIALOGUE WHATSOEVER, JUST FIGURE IT OUT BY YOURSELF

Don't forget Luigi saying "Glad you could drop in." Get it? DROP in? Although it's weird how that version turns the story around so that Mario's the one who's fallen behind and Luigi's the one who has his act together.

The info booths in Africa are run by monkeys

I think that was supposed to be Donkey Kong, considering that Peach and Toad were in the other booths in that video of the Nairobi level.

So wait, wouldn't there have to be two more Mario characters hosting the landmarks in the cities with 5 of them? Could one of them be WARIO? oh I hope I hope I hope

I go by the Super Mario Bros Movie canon, where they were born and grew up in Brookyln and stumbled into the Mushroom Kingdom through a MYSTEEEERIOUS sewer pipe. ...But, uh, then there's Yoshi's Island. NINTENDO ISN'T GOOD AT KEEPING ITS CANON STRAIGHT

And Nintendo got away with that retcon because they didn't specifically mention New York in any of the previous games that were produced specifically by Nintendo!

...Why is Bowser even implementing this incredibly poorly-thought-out plan? Does he just hate penguins, or something?

My guess is that he's getting revenge on the Mario brothers for liberating the Mushroom World by flooding their own world. That is, in the continuity where the Mario brothers are still from the real world.

...Heyyyyy, some of these quiz questions aren't in the pamphlets! :O

Yeah, that's because some of the answers can only be found by asking the wandering citizens about your treasures. Often only one of the five people has the one answer you need... So frustrating! So time-consuming!

Wait, so why was the cactus thing keeping Mario from using the pipe?

Somebody watched the demo to Super Mario World and fell in love with the image of Yoshi eating the Pokey?

I just wonder why the SNES version has the Pokey pop in and out of the pipe when a Piranha Plant would have been more fitting.

[bagofmagicfood.livejournal.com]

So I was trying to guess the location before? Every time I opened and closed the map, it took a minute off the timer.

Now, see, that's how they encourage you to actually ask where you are rather than randomly guessing. It takes time for Yoshi to run all the way there from Antarctica and Luigi to wait to see if Yoshi arrives, after all! At least that's what I assume happens when you click the "Yoshi zoom" button. You don't lose time, though, if you just click on that crossed-out circle button. What's weird, though, is that in my copy of the game, if you choose that crossed-out circle button when you've already selected the correct city, Yoshi will arrive anyway, but you still won't lose any time. I think it may be a glitch.

By the way, I always imagined the timer as being in hours and minutes rather than minutes and seconds. Maybe it's because my computer runs the game slowly, or maybe I don't like to imagine Luigi being in such a mad rush.

Haha, I stopped the San Francisco thing ages ago. GOD BOWSER GET WITH THE TIMES

Yeah, too bad there's no way for the dialogue to take into account what order you finished the cities in on each floor.

...why is it casting a shadow on the sky?

Hey, it worked for those big blocks in Super Mario Bros. 3. Plus, they were BOLTED into the sky.

THE SOUTH POLE IS FLOODING! HAIRDRYERS ARE EVERYWHERE! INNOCENT PENGUINS ARE LEFT HOMELESS!

I love how Luigi is way too late to save the world from catastrophic global warming. I mean, if Antarctica is vanishing so rapidly that penguins would rather SWIM TO ANOTHER CONTINENT than just move a little further inland, I think we've got much bigger problems than a few homeless penguins. You'd think someone would try to get Hafta Havit to STOP SELLING THE BAD GUY PARTS FOR HIS DOOMSDAY DEVICE.

And I don't remember the Mona Lisa being painted on the side of the Musée du Louvre (if that's what that's supposed to be, anyway), but okay.

It'd be pretty awesome if it was, though. Just look at it! Imagine strolling by the MONA LISA PYRAMID!

...Roy's glasses are also flame retardant, apparently.

That always reminds me of the boss from Double Dragon 2 who disappeared but left his mask behind.

Now I wonder: If Morton were in this game, what would he leave behind? Would his star birthmark peel off somehow? Or just those few little strands of hair he's usually shown with? Actually, IS Morton in some version of the game? I read about an add-on disk that supposedly adds 10 more cities to the game, for those of us who love it THAT MUCH, and I assume that means there would be two more floors with the last two Koopa Kids. Or did the original version of the game come with only 15 cities like the SNES version, and I've been playing the expanded game all along? I'd really like to know!

I THINK you always get the same amount when you return stuff, I know you get extra money depending on how much time you have left when you finish, and I think you might lose money if you get a question wrong or something like that.

I think you can also get a bonus on returning one of the artifacts if you do it in a certain order or something, but I could never figure out how to do it after the first level. The newspaper always mentions one of the artifacts as having a bonus attached.

The NES version's point system is really worthless, though, since there isn't even a timer to affect your final score. The total at the end is always the same!

Ohhhhhhh so it's for RANSOM MONEY, not just to sell the stuff. Okay, that makes more sense.

Yeah, I also figured that's why you get quizzed before you return something: The landmark curators are all paranoid that Luigi is on the Koopas' side (He does wear green, after all), and they think he might give the reward money to Bowser! Although I can't understand why they assume a thief couldn't have done the same amount of research. Oh well.

[bagofmagicfood.livejournal.com]

(whoops, this comment was supposed to go first, forgot which page I was on)

Ah, you know what I just realized? The line "I like pasta, I like wine" was changed to "I like pasta, all the time" in some other versions of this game. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MUST NOT LET CHILDREN KNOW OF ALCOHOL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Now I'm going to unload my responses to comments on both parts here so they'll be more easily seen.

gonna kick those krazy koopas in the kostal kartilage

I just love Mario's accent there. So much fun to imitate. It's like classic Strong Bad. But why does he sound different on the videophone during the game?

Important: Bowser looks good in a tux.

You can get away with anything in a tux. Why else would Mario accept candy from his mortal enemy? ...other than Mario being an overweight disappointment...

Are any of these sentences actually related?

Luigi overcomes his fear of heights in the span of about ten seconds. Although I can't understand why the walls would look SHORTER up close. Later in the game, Bowser exploits Mario's fear of the dark. It's all about phobias, this story.

I'm not totally sure what the age part does. I'm guessing it makes the pamphlets later on more dense, or maybe the hints people give you are more vague? Maybe the questions are harder? I dunno. I'll mess with it later.

I never got around to messing with it either. I just set it on Adult hoping to rack up the most points or see the most stuff that way. My guesses for the younger ages are that it gives you more time in each city, or it gives you fewer artifacts to find in each city. (Some cities have as many as 5 artifacts to find, while I believe the console versions only have 3 in every one. Or at least the NES version did. I didn't play the SNES version much.) Seems like too much work to actually rewrite the clues.

By the way, if you ever play this game for yourself then you should try to memorize the location you are when you enter, since it's the only way out (well, there's actually two exit pipes, I think, though it's easier to just memorize this one and not walk all over the place).

Actually, when I played it, Luigi didn't always start out at the Pokey pipe. It seemed to be a rare stroke of luck when that happened. But yeah, either you stumble across Pokey and memorize where he is if you're not done, or you stumble across a Pokey locater and trek straight there when you're done. I still think the whole locater system makes this game a lot more exciting than the console versions.

He looks sort of indignant like that, which makes the fact that he's apparently near sewage (?) oddly hilarious.

I think he's just exclaiming "Sewage!" as some kind of G-rated plumbing-related expletive.

I have no idea why the screenshots suddenly turn huge when I access the map.

They used a higher resolution mode for it. Gotta have plenty of detail when you add giant houses and HILLS WITH EYES to a map of the world. Don't forget to click on Antarctica for a nice aerial view of Bowser's castle.

TaxiOH GOD WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THAT DRIVER?

Michael Moore took too many stimulants, apparently.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot: in the actual deluxe version of MiM, you get real photos of all the landmarks and artifacts and stuff instead of these cheesy little computer drawings. Pretty impressive, I have to say! These are a lot funnier, though.

Just wait till you see how they depicted the panda bear.

[bagofmagicfood.livejournal.com]

Wait a minute... I just noticed that Roy said the hairdryers were arriving by ARCTIC Express. Maybe that's why nobody's caught onto them yet!