Sanitarium Bonanza - Part 4
Sep. 1st, 2008 01:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
backupdump002I sure have been making a lot of icons lately. that was not a blatant advertisement at all
My grandpa took us all to the horse races as an early birthday treat :D I have the sweetest grandpa in the world. We ate dinner there and placed bets (won $14, woooooo), and then... I think sometime around the 6th race it started storming, and some lightning hit the building and the power went out and the races were canceled. WOO
I didn't mind it, though! I actually really like it whenever the power goes out. It's like it always seems to take down this big social barrier and ~*unite*~ people, in a way. has anyone else noticed this or am i just romanticizing things way too much
Speaking of birthdays, the thought of turning seventeen feels so weird. I know it's not really old or anything, but it's... well, it'll be the oldest I've ever been. I guess I just feel like I'm starting to become an adult and I don't have a whole lot to show for it (one of these days I will drive a car you guys, I swear). But maybe I'm pressuring myself too much...
WELL ENOUGH OF THAT, LET'S PLAY SOME MORE SANITARIUM!
IN THE LAST EPISODE, I WASTED EVERYONE'S TIME. WHAT WILL I DO TODAY?!?!?!?!
Previous Episodes
Right! Let's put that key to use.
These are all .png files, by the way, so they're much better quality, if a bit bigger. Should I keep the quality high, or should I go for faster screenshots? Can you even tell the difference? LET ME KNOW because otherwise i'm just keeping it like this
where's that candy
Mysterious burnt pages, the bread and butter of every scary game.
Crazy priest, check.
Driscoll, huh? Looks like there's more to Lumpy and Carol than we thought.
BUT ANYWAY, THIS IS THE REAL REASON WE'RE HERE
yoink
And that's all you can do in the other part of the shop. Darn.
... that's a really cool fort, though.
Here's what I forgot to do beforehand: pick up that one little misplaced rock that blends in with the background and is incredibly easy to miss. Adventure games, why you gotta hurt so good
Anyway, if you recall, we saw some metallic thing in the water, and Max said he needed something to fish it out with. Well, there's only one person we saw with a fishing rod, and they happened to say something peculiar...
CAN YOU TELL WHAT WE NEED TO DO
adurrrrrrrrrr
Just walk Max over to the road and throw from there and what kind of a weird pose is that max jesus
DING
SOMEONE RANG THE BELL AGHAUDI#$*regaGADFGH
yeah, i'll leave him alone all right
yoink
TIME FOR SOME PRO BRASS FISHIN', AHYUK HYUK shoot me
hup
Max does an arm pump and begins to play We Are the Champions in his head
There's nothing left to do in the main part of town for now, so let's go across the bridge. As you can see, this side is blocked by vines.
... so we'll just go around!
"How," you ask? You're never going to guess
that's right
we're going to spring pig across
... I just don't know.
Wait, pumpkin p--
ffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
You can't really see in these, but she has a tail. I didn't notice it myself until I saw it move :O
MAX SAYS THIS WHOLE THING IN THE SAME VOLUME, BY THE WAY
You also don't get many people who would break a spring animal, say "By God this thing is going to get me places," and then use it to cross a broken bridge, but here we are
Maria has a floaty, sort of whispery voice.
FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T THINK MOTHER IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN
DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
And here's where you're acually supposed to go and read everything, but I already did that! :D
WHAT IS IT MARIA???????????????????????
SNRK WHAT WAS THAT DID SOMEONE JUST SAY MY NAME
Max throws his cowboy hat to the ground and stomps on it
and being the protagonist that of course means we'll have to barrel through it
I'm trying to think of some cutting sarcastic remark to say right now, but this is actually kind of sad. Worst time out ever ;_;
I THOUGHT YOU SAID SHE WAS WAKING UP
YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT MOTHER IS DOING, DO YOU MARIA
godhatespumpkins.com
So the preacher thinks God sent the comet as punishment, and Mother says that the comet is a sign of Her coming.
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Well, that's enough exposition for now.
that crow moves around in the background and it's kinda freaky
Anyway, we need a 3-digit number to open this lock. "But we haven't seen any 3-digit numbers," you say. Well, let's think for a minute; if you read the newspaper, you'll see that Reverend O'Toole made it illegal to mess with the vines, because people need to "accept their punishment" and so forth. Since the vines are thickest over here (I think Max mentions this if you examine the vines by the barn), we can assume that their source is in this area, and thus O'Toole put the lock here to keep everyone away. People often use passwords that are significant to them, right? Well then, let's check out the church.
WEEEEEEE sorry
Psalm 4, verse 51. 451. Guess something about that struck a chord with him.
AND WITH THAT, HERE WE GO
Looking at the tractor. BUT WAIT! WHAT'S THAT NEXT TO IT?
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT
WE GOT A SCYTHE
Y'know, I just couldn't imagine Max saying something like that, but then he did. And he did it in the same monotone voice he's been using this whole time
Anyway, let's get started on the first action sequence in the game. Once you pick up the scythe, you'll hear a loud heartbeat. This is your health; the faster the heartbeat is, the lower your HP. What lowers your HP?
CROOOOOOOOOOOOOWS
HAHA YEAH MY SCYTHE MADE YOU EXPLODE SOMEHOW TAKE THAT
SMELL YOU LATER, BIRD BRAIN
DON'T GET YOUR FEATHERS RUFFLED
GUESS YOU JUST DON'T FIT THE BILL
GUESS I JUST GOT STABBED IN THE EYE
If you run out of health then Max says something like, "OWAAAAAUUUGH!" and dies.
lol tentacles
floomp
Aaaaaand respawn! Any crows you kill are gone for good, by the way, and wont reappear no matter how many times you have to go through the patch. You know, somehow, this makes the pumpkin patch about 80x less threatening than it was hyped up to be
hey, see that scarecrow over there
that's the best bossfight ever
You walk in, and the pumpkins shoot fire as the scarecrow comes to life. It'd be great if it just went up in flames right there and died
The scarecrow grabs its pitchfork and readies itself for battle, and Max gasps as he's overwhelmed by how awesome this whole thing is
[Mortal Kombat reference]
If you try to hit the scarecrow, you'll learn that your scythe does jack squat. The reason for that is because of these pumpkins--as long as they're still alive, the scarecrow is immortal and will continue to chase you around and stab you with its pitchfork while going "nyeheheheh." The pumpkins take one swipe to destroy, though, so it's not that big a deal. Also, killing them makes them burst into flames
NO MY DELICATE KNEECAPS
blarg
yeah that's right i'm back bet you didn't expect that did you i'm destroying your life force
NO, MY... AIR
HAHA, MISSED!!!!
AGH
I should note that I was lagging horribly this whole time, doubly so because I was taking screencaps. I BLAME THAT ON MY SHODDY PERFORMANCE DURING THIS FIGHT
Max stands and whines about not being able to reach things while meanwhile the scarecrow is one foot away
The message you get if you try to hit the scarecrow while he's still immortal.
HAHA
NOT SO TOUGH WITHOUT YOUR PRECIOUS PUMPKINS ARE YOU
After that, just hit the scarecrow like two times and he dies. wimp
WHAT IS IT WITH THIS GAME AND BURSTING INTO FLAMES
>(
Max says this line like it's the suavest thing in the universe
it isn't
Hmmmmmmmmmmm
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Yeah, looks like it.
IN FACT
awelp let's go in the barn
WELL WASN'T THAT A GREAT CUTSCENE
Full version.
"hey man i'm sitting right here"
Yeah, you might want to do something about the whole "infinite respawn" thing
TIME FOR US TO PLANT OUR FEET ON THE GROUND AND GET TO THE ROOT OF THIS PROBLEM
Also just imagine that generic female monstervoice you hear everywhere in children's shows, and you have Mother's voice. K-kind of takes the edge off the whole encounter
i dunno that's kind of a mouthful, you might want to just shorten it to NBAD
yeah, well
at least we have legs
I GUESS I'D MAKE A PLANT PUN, BUT NOW IS NOT THE THYME
I GUESS YOU COULD SAY SHE TOOK A LICHEN TO HER
So the preacher helped Jeddah get away with murder. Sounds like there's something more to this one.
maybe because you just got here like ten minutes ago
BUT WHY WAIT WHEN YOU COULD HAVE INSTANT GRASSIFICATION
OR ARE YOU JUST NOT FEELING MOWTIVATED
MAX SOUNDS SO INDIGNANT WHEN HE SAYS THIS IT'S THE BEST THING
Actually, the voice acting in this whole scene is hilariously overblown. IT BRINGS THYRSE TO MY EYES
Tell that to William Golding
lol, that sounds exciting. just sit around in the barn all day drooling and talking about how much they hate meat
talk about a HERBI-BORE
WELL
WE HAVE LAWNMOWERS
At this point, Max is so angry that he's just ranting and acting defensive rather than trying to interrogate her any further.
CASE IN POINT
SLACK-JAWED SIMPLETON
BELLIGERENT INFIDEL
LARD-GARGLING SOW
WOOOOOSHHHHH
BAM
whump
Mother: UH YEAH HEY I'M SITTING RIGHT HERE
YOU SHOULD AT LEAST TRY TO WHISPER TO YOURSELF WHEN PLANNING SOMEONE'S DEMISE
JUST FYI
Mother: YOU KNOW I CAN SEE YOU TAKING THAT RIGHT
THAT DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU YOU KNOW
Anyway, back to puzzle-solving. Looks like this cross attracts lightning! It also looks like mother's vines are all wrapped around that metallic comet.
are you thinkin' what i'm thinkin'
plunk
Remember that shiny new jumper cable we got from the tractor? Let's just hook that baby up to this little gas-powered generator right here...
... and attach the other end to our cross. Perfect. Now we just need gas. You guys remember something about gasoline from before, right?
Oh, a hose that looks like it could very well just be background art
perfect
IF ONLY WE HAD SOME SORT OF TOOL USED FOR SAFELY GRIPPING AND TWISTING TIGHTLY-SEALED THINGS SUCH AS PIPES AND NOZZLES
... yeah, that puzzle was kind of unfair. Seems like one of those things that you would only ever figure out just from wandering around for hours on end and exhausting every option until you eventually start clicking around at random and smack yourself on the forehead once you finally come across it. OH ADVENTURE GAMES
mmmmmm
gasoline
You have to have Max actually open the gas tank before you pop in the hose, which confused me for a moment :B WHY IS HE SAYING HE CAN'T USE IT IT'S SO OBVIOUS
WOO
Then just plop down that empty gas can we picked up earlier and fill it up and AWAAAAAAAAYYY WE GO
... i'm kind of surprised all the gas didn't leak out ages ago, but whatever
man this is gonna be so cool
TIME TO SPREAD SOME WEED-KILLER
[terrible screaming here]
IT'S ABOUT TIME
THAT MOTHER WAS GETTING TO BE A REAL PAIN IN THE ASTER
max i swear to god
you just blew up this huge alien and it's oozing slime everywhere and all you have to say is I'M SURE GLAD I'M NOT THE JANITOR, DUHYUK :B
hey something's glowing
For some reason my game freaked out and made all of the text go by literally in the blink of an eye, soooo let me just transcribe from the video:
Maria: Thank you for freeing us, Max. Now that Mother is destroyed, the children are slowly returning to normal. They've all gone through the tunnel to join the rest of the world. I'm waiting for you.
Max: Yes, but... where are we going?
Maria simply gestures towards the tunnel and Max starts walking. We can hear laughter on the other side.
And we're done with chapter two! What the hell is happening, you ask? I'd say "find out next time," but I think things are just going to get more and more disorienting from here.
Get a load of that INTENSE!!! voice acting in the Max/Mother conversation. YOU REALLY HAVE TO HEAR IT FOR YOURSELF, IT'S... IT'S REALLY SOMETHING.
Considering making a lot of my old entries private, as they are things of horrible shame to me, now. Then again, it is my history. Hmmmm.
Man, I really wish my back and ribs would stop hurting
My grandpa took us all to the horse races as an early birthday treat :D I have the sweetest grandpa in the world. We ate dinner there and placed bets (won $14, woooooo), and then... I think sometime around the 6th race it started storming, and some lightning hit the building and the power went out and the races were canceled. WOO
I didn't mind it, though! I actually really like it whenever the power goes out. It's like it always seems to take down this big social barrier and ~*unite*~ people, in a way. has anyone else noticed this or am i just romanticizing things way too much
Speaking of birthdays, the thought of turning seventeen feels so weird. I know it's not really old or anything, but it's... well, it'll be the oldest I've ever been. I guess I just feel like I'm starting to become an adult and I don't have a whole lot to show for it (one of these days I will drive a car you guys, I swear). But maybe I'm pressuring myself too much...
WELL ENOUGH OF THAT, LET'S PLAY SOME MORE SANITARIUM!
IN THE LAST EPISODE, I WASTED EVERYONE'S TIME. WHAT WILL I DO TODAY?!?!?!?!
Previous Episodes
Right! Let's put that key to use.
These are all .png files, by the way, so they're much better quality, if a bit bigger. Should I keep the quality high, or should I go for faster screenshots? Can you even tell the difference? LET ME KNOW because otherwise i'm just keeping it like this
where's that candy
Mysterious burnt pages, the bread and butter of every scary game.
Crazy priest, check.
Driscoll, huh? Looks like there's more to Lumpy and Carol than we thought.
BUT ANYWAY, THIS IS THE REAL REASON WE'RE HERE
yoink
And that's all you can do in the other part of the shop. Darn.
... that's a really cool fort, though.
Here's what I forgot to do beforehand: pick up that one little misplaced rock that blends in with the background and is incredibly easy to miss. Adventure games, why you gotta hurt so good
Anyway, if you recall, we saw some metallic thing in the water, and Max said he needed something to fish it out with. Well, there's only one person we saw with a fishing rod, and they happened to say something peculiar...
CAN YOU TELL WHAT WE NEED TO DO
adurrrrrrrrrr
Just walk Max over to the road and throw from there and what kind of a weird pose is that max jesus
DING
SOMEONE RANG THE BELL AGHAUDI#$*regaGADFGH
yeah, i'll leave him alone all right
yoink
TIME FOR SOME PRO BRASS FISHIN', AHYUK HYUK shoot me
hup
Max does an arm pump and begins to play We Are the Champions in his head
There's nothing left to do in the main part of town for now, so let's go across the bridge. As you can see, this side is blocked by vines.
... so we'll just go around!
"How," you ask? You're never going to guess
that's right
we're going to spring pig across
... I just don't know.
Wait, pumpkin p--
ffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
You can't really see in these, but she has a tail. I didn't notice it myself until I saw it move :O
MAX SAYS THIS WHOLE THING IN THE SAME VOLUME, BY THE WAY
You also don't get many people who would break a spring animal, say "By God this thing is going to get me places," and then use it to cross a broken bridge, but here we are
Maria has a floaty, sort of whispery voice.
FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T THINK MOTHER IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN
DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
And here's where you're acually supposed to go and read everything, but I already did that! :D
WHAT IS IT MARIA???????????????????????
SNRK WHAT WAS THAT DID SOMEONE JUST SAY MY NAME
Max throws his cowboy hat to the ground and stomps on it
and being the protagonist that of course means we'll have to barrel through it
I'm trying to think of some cutting sarcastic remark to say right now, but this is actually kind of sad. Worst time out ever ;_;
I THOUGHT YOU SAID SHE WAS WAKING UP
YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT MOTHER IS DOING, DO YOU MARIA
godhatespumpkins.com
So the preacher thinks God sent the comet as punishment, and Mother says that the comet is a sign of Her coming.
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Well, that's enough exposition for now.
that crow moves around in the background and it's kinda freaky
Anyway, we need a 3-digit number to open this lock. "But we haven't seen any 3-digit numbers," you say. Well, let's think for a minute; if you read the newspaper, you'll see that Reverend O'Toole made it illegal to mess with the vines, because people need to "accept their punishment" and so forth. Since the vines are thickest over here (I think Max mentions this if you examine the vines by the barn), we can assume that their source is in this area, and thus O'Toole put the lock here to keep everyone away. People often use passwords that are significant to them, right? Well then, let's check out the church.
WEEEEEEE sorry
Psalm 4, verse 51. 451. Guess something about that struck a chord with him.
AND WITH THAT, HERE WE GO
Looking at the tractor. BUT WAIT! WHAT'S THAT NEXT TO IT?
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT
WE GOT A SCYTHE
Y'know, I just couldn't imagine Max saying something like that, but then he did. And he did it in the same monotone voice he's been using this whole time
Anyway, let's get started on the first action sequence in the game. Once you pick up the scythe, you'll hear a loud heartbeat. This is your health; the faster the heartbeat is, the lower your HP. What lowers your HP?
CROOOOOOOOOOOOOWS
HAHA YEAH MY SCYTHE MADE YOU EXPLODE SOMEHOW TAKE THAT
SMELL YOU LATER, BIRD BRAIN
DON'T GET YOUR FEATHERS RUFFLED
GUESS YOU JUST DON'T FIT THE BILL
GUESS I JUST GOT STABBED IN THE EYE
If you run out of health then Max says something like, "OWAAAAAUUUGH!" and dies.
lol tentacles
floomp
Aaaaaand respawn! Any crows you kill are gone for good, by the way, and wont reappear no matter how many times you have to go through the patch. You know, somehow, this makes the pumpkin patch about 80x less threatening than it was hyped up to be
hey, see that scarecrow over there
that's the best bossfight ever
You walk in, and the pumpkins shoot fire as the scarecrow comes to life. It'd be great if it just went up in flames right there and died
The scarecrow grabs its pitchfork and readies itself for battle, and Max gasps as he's overwhelmed by how awesome this whole thing is
[Mortal Kombat reference]
If you try to hit the scarecrow, you'll learn that your scythe does jack squat. The reason for that is because of these pumpkins--as long as they're still alive, the scarecrow is immortal and will continue to chase you around and stab you with its pitchfork while going "nyeheheheh." The pumpkins take one swipe to destroy, though, so it's not that big a deal. Also, killing them makes them burst into flames
NO MY DELICATE KNEECAPS
blarg
yeah that's right i'm back bet you didn't expect that did you i'm destroying your life force
NO, MY... AIR
HAHA, MISSED!!!!
AGH
I should note that I was lagging horribly this whole time, doubly so because I was taking screencaps. I BLAME THAT ON MY SHODDY PERFORMANCE DURING THIS FIGHT
Max stands and whines about not being able to reach things while meanwhile the scarecrow is one foot away
The message you get if you try to hit the scarecrow while he's still immortal.
HAHA
NOT SO TOUGH WITHOUT YOUR PRECIOUS PUMPKINS ARE YOU
After that, just hit the scarecrow like two times and he dies. wimp
WHAT IS IT WITH THIS GAME AND BURSTING INTO FLAMES
>(
Max says this line like it's the suavest thing in the universe
it isn't
Hmmmmmmmmmmm
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Yeah, looks like it.
IN FACT
awelp let's go in the barn
WELL WASN'T THAT A GREAT CUTSCENE
Full version.
"hey man i'm sitting right here"
Yeah, you might want to do something about the whole "infinite respawn" thing
TIME FOR US TO PLANT OUR FEET ON THE GROUND AND GET TO THE ROOT OF THIS PROBLEM
Also just imagine that generic female monstervoice you hear everywhere in children's shows, and you have Mother's voice. K-kind of takes the edge off the whole encounter
i dunno that's kind of a mouthful, you might want to just shorten it to NBAD
yeah, well
at least we have legs
I GUESS I'D MAKE A PLANT PUN, BUT NOW IS NOT THE THYME
I GUESS YOU COULD SAY SHE TOOK A LICHEN TO HER
So the preacher helped Jeddah get away with murder. Sounds like there's something more to this one.
BUT WHY WAIT WHEN YOU COULD HAVE INSTANT GRASSIFICATION
OR ARE YOU JUST NOT FEELING MOWTIVATED
MAX SOUNDS SO INDIGNANT WHEN HE SAYS THIS IT'S THE BEST THING
Actually, the voice acting in this whole scene is hilariously overblown. IT BRINGS THYRSE TO MY EYES
lol, that sounds exciting. just sit around in the barn all day drooling and talking about how much they hate meat
talk about a HERBI-BORE
WELL
WE HAVE LAWNMOWERS
At this point, Max is so angry that he's just ranting and acting defensive rather than trying to interrogate her any further.
CASE IN POINT
SLACK-JAWED SIMPLETON
BELLIGERENT INFIDEL
LARD-GARGLING SOW
WOOOOOSHHHHH
BAM
whump
Mother: UH YEAH HEY I'M SITTING RIGHT HERE
YOU SHOULD AT LEAST TRY TO WHISPER TO YOURSELF WHEN PLANNING SOMEONE'S DEMISE
JUST FYI
Mother: YOU KNOW I CAN SEE YOU TAKING THAT RIGHT
THAT DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU YOU KNOW
Anyway, back to puzzle-solving. Looks like this cross attracts lightning! It also looks like mother's vines are all wrapped around that metallic comet.
are you thinkin' what i'm thinkin'
plunk
Remember that shiny new jumper cable we got from the tractor? Let's just hook that baby up to this little gas-powered generator right here...
... and attach the other end to our cross. Perfect. Now we just need gas. You guys remember something about gasoline from before, right?
Oh, a hose that looks like it could very well just be background art
perfect
IF ONLY WE HAD SOME SORT OF TOOL USED FOR SAFELY GRIPPING AND TWISTING TIGHTLY-SEALED THINGS SUCH AS PIPES AND NOZZLES
... yeah, that puzzle was kind of unfair. Seems like one of those things that you would only ever figure out just from wandering around for hours on end and exhausting every option until you eventually start clicking around at random and smack yourself on the forehead once you finally come across it. OH ADVENTURE GAMES
mmmmmm
gasoline
You have to have Max actually open the gas tank before you pop in the hose, which confused me for a moment :B WHY IS HE SAYING HE CAN'T USE IT IT'S SO OBVIOUS
WOO
Then just plop down that empty gas can we picked up earlier and fill it up and AWAAAAAAAAYYY WE GO
... i'm kind of surprised all the gas didn't leak out ages ago, but whatever
man this is gonna be so cool
TIME TO SPREAD SOME WEED-KILLER
[terrible screaming here]
IT'S ABOUT TIME
THAT MOTHER WAS GETTING TO BE A REAL PAIN IN THE ASTER
max i swear to god
you just blew up this huge alien and it's oozing slime everywhere and all you have to say is I'M SURE GLAD I'M NOT THE JANITOR, DUHYUK :B
hey something's glowing
For some reason my game freaked out and made all of the text go by literally in the blink of an eye, soooo let me just transcribe from the video:
Maria: Thank you for freeing us, Max. Now that Mother is destroyed, the children are slowly returning to normal. They've all gone through the tunnel to join the rest of the world. I'm waiting for you.
Max: Yes, but... where are we going?
Maria simply gestures towards the tunnel and Max starts walking. We can hear laughter on the other side.
And we're done with chapter two! What the hell is happening, you ask? I'd say "find out next time," but I think things are just going to get more and more disorienting from here.
Get a load of that INTENSE!!! voice acting in the Max/Mother conversation. YOU REALLY HAVE TO HEAR IT FOR YOURSELF, IT'S... IT'S REALLY SOMETHING.
Considering making a lot of my old entries private, as they are things of horrible shame to me, now. Then again, it is my history. Hmmmm.
Man, I really wish my back and ribs would stop hurting
