backupdump002

LOVE IS LIKE... OXYGEN

YOU GET TOO MUCH YOU GET TOO HIGH

These were gonna be in the last episode but I cut them out to save a little room. Although I probably could've put 'em back after I cut out the Hammerhead Bros. thing. EH WELL

That's an odd choice of words

It's alright, Lady Lima. I'll go help the prince.

IT'S ALRIGHT, LADY LIMA

Okay, before we go a-flyin' to Bowser's Castle I thought I'd wrap up a few things first. Waaaay back in the first episode I posted a pic of the title screen, and you may have noticed an option on the menu that just said "Mario Bros." I finally decided to check it out for you guys, and it turns out it's a port of the old Mario Bros. arcade game! You can even do multiplayer if you have a game link (and if you're playing it, well, legally, and not with an emulator). I love features like this.

FINALLY I CAN SHOW YOU THIS

NO YOU DON'T GET A SAY IN THE MATTER
YOUR HAMMERS ARE GETTING REFORGED AND YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT

YEAH WOO ALRIGHT

You're lifesavers, Hammerhead Bros.

This is the second Thwomp mini-game. I finally looked into this, and apparently in the first one you have a chance at winning Mario's secret Bros. Attack, and in the second one you have a chance at Luigi's. If you had the time you could save, do this, then just restart if you don't get it. I messed with it for a while, but then I got bored and moved on. I'M PLENTY POWERFUL, ANYWAY

Hahahahaha
Remember how Hermie said to bring back something to replace the Beanstar piece? Once you get the final hammer upgrade, you can!

UHHH OR SOMETHING

I imagine him doing a pelvic thrust sometime during this line

YOU KNOW, FUNNY YOU SHOULD MENTION THAT

?!?!?!?!?!?!

GO SPANGLE GO

Wooooo!

Yet another item that would be great if my POW wasn't so insane

Better finish up the Starbeans Cafe stuff before we beat the game. HERE WE GO GUYS

OH JESUS

E. Gadd: 8D

MAYBE IF IT WAS THROUGH A GAMEBOY ADVANCE |<

That has to either be the best or the worst representative ever.

OKAY FINE JUST STOP "BLUHH"ING ALREADY

WHY THAT LOOKS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE A TRIFORCE PIECE

That's pretty okay, I suppose. I never cared too much about BP.

Awesome. Luigi's getting this.

That's a wonderful philosophy, Professor.

and luigi breathes a sigh of relief

Man, that's one tricked-out Gameboy.

IT'S SO BAD

SUUUUUUURE

GREAT FOR PARTIES

Haha, Luigi yelped and ran off when he walked up

'Never hurts to get some extra Stache points.

YOU KNOW I LOVE THIS ONE

This is handy if you remember it, since you can equip it when you visit shops.

Ehh, never bothered with this one.

In case you're wondering why I get two Teehee Blends in these shots, it's because I apparently was retarded and exited without saving, so I had to reorder my drinks and this happened to be the last one. WHICH REMINDS ME I forgot to mention this but the E. Gadd cutscenes occur depending on how many drinks you've ordered, not what kind. So if you started with... I dunno, a Chuckle Blend instead of a Woohoo Blend which is the first item on the menu, then you'd get the first cutscene and so forth. IT MAKES SENSE, CONSIDERING

Hurrah!

Awwww

I WILL GAZE UPON IT WITH ALL MY LOVE

I THINK IT'S BEAUTIFUL

This SOUNDS great, but while I had it equipped all I got were Red Peppers and Green Peppers, which boost POW/DEF and change your weight in battle. I just switched back to the Bonus Ring after a while. I'D LOOK INTO IT A LITTLE MORE BUT MEHHHHH LAZY

So anyway, let's get back to the actual plotline. No more dilly-dallying around. This is it. ARE YOU SURE YOU GUYS ARE READY FOR THIS?

OH GOD HERE WE GO YOU GUYS

ALRIGHT
LET'S ROCK

Bowser's Castle, which is one of my favorite themes from the game. It vaguely reminds me of Johnny Quest (this opening in particular) and I have no idea why. OKAY, SURE

GODSPEED, BLARBHAGAHGADON

AND THEN BOWLETTA APPEARED wait no

KOOPALINGS?
COULD IT BE???

YES! ALL SEVEN OF THE KOOPALINGS ARE HERE! Anyone remember these guys from various Mario games? I'm pretty sure they showed up in SMB3, first.
Anyway, here's Iggy

Morton

Lemmy

Ludwig

Roy, who I always mistake for a girl

Wendy

And finally, Larry. Heh, Wendy and Larry.

I know you can do better, guys, come on

Hello Iggy, you loser

He starts spinning around really fast, here.

And then you have to make your way over to Iggy and the controls are all weird and OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO LUIGI'S PUPILS

He'll shoot fireballs at you, which you can easily hammer back at him.

And sometimes he'll slowly spin around the brothers like a billion times, giving you many opprotunities to whack him.

I beat him in like one turn. YOU'RE PATHETIC, IGGY

These appear whenever you defeat a Koopaling. You can step into them and warp back into the main hall. Very handy!

Moving on to the next Koopaling.

HI MORTON

He sends sound wave things at you, which are easy to jump over. YOU PEOPLE ARE NO MATCH FOR ME

Uhh whoops, looks like the Lemmy battle got deleted. I DID have to exit at some point since my emulator was crapping out, so I guess I just forgot I took screenshots of it. sorry guyz
ANYWAY LUDWIG. He spins around and makes you jump over him and stuff, similar to the Border Jump mini game at Stardust Fields.

WALK OUT ON ME WILL YOU
FINE
THIS MARRIAGE IS OFF

WHAT THE
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Well, that was easy.

SO, LOOK FAMILIAR TO ANYONE?

A wild ROY appeared!
FIGHT ITEM PKMN RUN

That darn Roy, sending me on some wild goose chase. Why back in my day

rumble rumble

DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNN

DONE AND DONE

There's two platforms below you can jump on and get items, if you want. I usually just go ahead and do it 'cause hey, you need all the help you can get in this place

OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE RIGHT THERE AND I CAN'T GET IT BECAUSE MARIO FELL OFF AHUGHADGS

COME ON LUIGI

There's... I think three Boos in here, which you can fight if you want. I go ahead and do so, since Boos aren't difficult and it makes hitting that switch a lot easier.

GASP
WENDY

I'll bet you were wondering why there was just some random door in the middle of the room. HERE'S WHY!

NO HOW DID YOU DEFEAT ME

Hahahahha oh god. The bob-omb timer didn't even change numbers or anything. TOO MUCH POWER? ME?

Hmm, so we have to get from here to there, do we? Why, but we can't possibly hammer all those walls in only thirteen seconds!

Good thing Luigi is here to lend us a hand. RIGHT, LUIGI?

ACK WHERE DID THIS BARREL COME FROM

Haha, Larry comes out and starts randomly playing pong with you using a fireball. THANK YOU, LARRY

Fortunately, Larry isn't very good.

Contrary to what these screenshots may suggest, I did not kill Larry using single fireball.

Welp, that's all of them. Time to move on to bigger and better things!

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

oh hi fawful

KEEP YOUR DRESS DOWN

I remember when I first played this I thought he meant he was nervous to be standing before the Mario Bros and I was like WELL SHUCKS THAT'S AWFULLY NICE OF YOU FAWFUL DURRRR

nom nom nom

Aaaaaaaand battle! Fawful reminds me of a baby bird in that costume.

He taunts you whenever you attack while he's in his thing. LIKE SO

The text color doesn't indicate anything, here.

HURRY PUMMEL HIM

Beat him during the amount of time he was exposed, which is a few turns, I think. I remember when I first played I didn't have NEAR as much POW as I do in this game, so it took me forever to beat him. This is much more convenient.
HINT: BOOST POW LIKE CRAZY

LOOK OUT

Y'know, this just might be my favorite line in the whole game.

HI PEASLEY

Well said!

OH NO WATCH OUT

okay now is that a wig or do my eyes deceive me

OKAY NOW THIS IS JUST GETTING CONFUSING

FORE

hahahaha he just randomly blows up

HURRY RUN BEFORE THEY HIT YOU UP FOR A TWENTY

Well, this looks like a friendly place.

Bowletta's just chillin', havin' a drink

BLARRRRRRRR
I think Bowletta Anger plays at some point during this. I dunno. I DUNNO JUST TAKE IT

So I guess the Great Bowletta is an old superstar, or

Despite the flashy pretext, Bowletta is really pretty easy. I beat her in a turn or two, I think.
Decisive Battle plays here.

She shoots out a bunch of fireballs (called Flamelets, I think?), and some of them will try to hit you while others will sit in front of her.

Sometimes a Flamelet will merge with Bowletta and heal her, though you'll probably be doing way more damage than she can heal so whatever.

At some point she'll transform and preform a special attack, which you'll see in a bit. I think her DEF may get lower in this form, though, because I did a Bros Attack on her and it did 500+ damage instead of the usual 200+. Not that I'm complaining or anything.

Special attack! She shoots red, green, and purple stars at you, which you can hammer away. Red and green go to Mario and Luigi respectively, while the purple ones are just there to fake you out.

HOWEVER, HER DASTARDLY TRICKS WERE NOT ENOUGH TO STOP ME

NOOOOOOOOOOO

And after this she went IN MY BELLY in large text, but I skipped over it by accident. GREAT GOING, SELF

jesus christ what kind of a stomach is this anyway
I MEAN LOOK, THERE'S LIKE... FLAMES AND SPIKES AND STATUES LOOK AT THIS IT'S LIKE MONSTRO OR SOMETHING

AREN'T WE ALREADY IN YOUR STOMACH OH GOD I'M SO CONFUSED
Before I forget, here's Last Battle.

You start the battle off with only 1 HP and with no chance to heal since Cackletta immediately starts attacking. If you don't know how to dodge her attacks or if you make one mistake then TOO BAD, GAME OVER.
Fortunately for the people playing on a ROM, emulators have save states.

Alright, so the object of this battle is to destroy Cackletta's arms and head so that the heart will come out. Once it does that, just pound the heck out of it with Bros Attacks until she dies. Her body parts will regenerate and the heart will go back in after a few turns so you have to destroy everything again, but that's not too bad. This SOUNDS easy, but her attacks and the fact that she can do several moves in a row make this difficult.

Sometimes she'll summon up Fawful's ghost, who shoots a bunch of those energy orb things at you. You can whack him pretty easily, though.

See how Cackletta's eyes are facing a different direction than usual? Watch for this, because if you don't react immediately then there's nothing you can do when she fires her attack.

EYELASERS
Anyway, so the direction her eyes are facing in that split second determines where she's going to fire her lazer (and this shot of the laser-firing is obviously different from the eye-pointing). Jump or stand in the opposite direction(s), and right after that, she'll stop time and shoot. This happens REALLY quickly and usually happens several times in a row, so it can get kind of tricky.

BUT THAT'S NO PROBLEM FOR A STAR PLAYER SUCH AS MYSELF

WHAT'S HAPPENING TO BOWLETTA, GUYS?
Agony plays here.

I love how everyone just randomly explodes in this game

hi cackletta's spirit

bye cackletta's spirit

WHERE WERE YOU YOUNG MAN

That sounds like a reasonable course of action, yes

And off you go! I should've let the timer run out just to see what happens, but I didn't even think of doing that until now. durrrr

You're a lifesaver, Blagbdgfhjkabadon

BOWSER NOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOO

THWUMP

WHAT A GREAT SHOT HUH GUYS
Departure plays here. Just happy, victorious music.

Peach is flabbergasted.

HI PEASLEY

PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

SSSSSSSSSSSSLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE--

whump

That is quite the gift!
BUT WHAT COULD IT BE?

Everyone: lol

WHY, IT'S BOWSER!

Who got a cold from being dumped in the sea and all. Poor Bowser.

And with that, credits! Ending Theme. This song makes me feel happy in a sad sort of way. SUPERSTAR SAGA, I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE YOU

HI BLADHFASDGHADON

HI PEASLEY AND VARIOUS BEANBEAN CITIZENS

awwwww byeeeee

HI... WHATEVER YOUR NAMES WERE, IF YOU HAD ANY

HI HERMIE AND SPANGLE

the cheep cheep are a-jumpin' today

y helo, baddies

HERE YA GO

OH GOD IT'S A BOO OH NO IT'S COMING CLOSER OH NO OH NO OH NO

nevermind it got too shy

Ahh, good ol' castle.

WOOOOOOOO

A voice clip of people cheering plays here

Anytime, Superstar Saga.

Aaaaand that's a wrap!

There you have it! I really enjoyed doing this, and I hope everyone else did as well! Thank you for reading, and thank you especially to all the people who took the time to leave some awesome comments. You guys make it so worth it to do these.

ON A SIDE NOTE BE SURE TO CHECK OUT THE SEQUEL which I haven't done yet. lol

Well, that took no time at all. I mean, that took, what... two months, at the most? And it probably would've gone a lot faster if I hadn't kept procrastinating. WHOOP. I will definitely get to work on another one once I take a break and round up some more games for you guys to vote on. No I don't have a problem shut up

NOW TO MAKE THE VICTORY TEA