backupdump002

HEY GUYS I JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL

So I finally fessed up to my parents about that godawful stomach ache, and they decided it was serious enough to take me to the hospital. We wound up sitting in the waiting room for about THREE HOURS, and other people kept giving me sympathetic looks as I practically writhed in pain. Mom even called another hospital and they said they would have taken me in immediately, but since we were already there and everything, we just decided to just stay.

So finally I'm taken into the ER, given a gown that was several sizes too big for me, and get an IV jabbed into my arm ow. A nurse soon came in with a bigass bottle of... something. Grafo-something, for a CAT scan. It was at least a quart.

Me: *jokingly* Am I gonna have to drink the whole thing?
Nurse: Mm-hmm. *leaves the bottle on a nearby counter and walks out*

After I drank that nasty junk I got doped up with some pain medication and watched Conan O'Brien with a vacant grin on my face. That stuff was awesome DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK

After a quick CAT scan and talking with a man-nurse (who was great), I had finally been diagnosed. Ladies and gentlemen, I had APPENDICITIS. I WAS SCHEDULED TO GO TO SURGERY AT ABOUT 3:00 AM (which was 30 minutes away, at the time). OH WOW.

Maybe it was the drugs, but I wasn't nervous at all about my surgery. Just as long as I was put to sleep as soon as possible, it wasn't gonna be a problem for me. I don't even really remember much before the surgery... I just remember throwing my arms up and going "weeeeeee" as I was wheeled around on a stretcher, one of the surgeons talking with my parents for a long time, and being told to use my heels to move onto the operation table to put less strain on my stomach. I don't even remember being put to sleep, or even them telling me that they were going to, or to count backwards or anything like that. I just remember staring up at the ceiling, and suddenly I'm laying in a bed in the recovery room feeling sore and delirious.

So I'm in the recovery room and I still don't really know what's going on (it was probably about 30 minutes or so after my surgery, so I was still kind of stoned). I just know that my family is there. I think I tried to speak a few times, but it came out all slurred and mumbled. I think the nurse told me that I woke up suddenly at one point and my heart rate went way up, and I kind of vaguely remember that happening. I dunno, it was just really weird.

I passed out again, and then when I woke up I was in my own bed in my own room, my family is standing there and nurses are coming in and out. I'm STILL feeling really groggy and durrrr and stuff. It was probably 5 or 6 AM at this point. All I remember here is Sarah giving me a stuffed penguin she bought, me thanking her, and then passing out again. I didn't get much rest that night (morning?), because nurses kept coming in to check on my vital signs and stuff. This was all just very surreal for me :O

So I pass out and wake up again, and finally, I'm feeling a little less out of it. I'm actually able to tell that I'm in my own room and not another ward of some sort, I start remembering stuff that happened before and after surgery, and I see my mom asleep on one of the couches. A nurse comes in with breakfast, and of course, I can't eat solid foods yet so it's just like... juice. And broth.

Oh and Wish
Wish
hey
they gave me some GELATIN
BOWL AFTER BOWL OF IT, TOO
AS SOON AS I SAW IT I GOT THE MOST RETARDED GRIN ON MY FACE
JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW

Well at this point, there really isn't much to do except watch TV, get shot up with pain medication every chance I get (I DO NOT HAVE A PAIN MED PROBLEM SHUT UP) and have some annoying thing taking my blood pressure every 15 minutes. I eventually went on a walk with one of the nurses, and we just kinda made fun of the fact that I had appendicitis. I liked her :3

I didn't have many channels to choose from, and the ones I DID have played some of the weirdest shows I've ever seen. There was this one show called Bible Man, and it was about a guy wearing purple and yellow spandex and he and some evil guy fought with lightsaber knockoffs, and then talked to some teenager about finding "the joy". I WASN'T EVEN HIGH AT THE TIME OR ANYTHING I'M COMPLETELY SERIOUS. DAD WAS EVEN THERE TO CLARIFY THAT I WASN'T TRIPPING OUT. I need to watch that show more often.

Anyway, nothing else really interesting happened except that my family stayed with me about 99% of the time, and they kept making me crack up and it really hurt :B We just hung around and watched TV and went on walks and ate food. At one point, Sarah and I were watching Naruto because nothing else was on, and god I about started crying from a mixture of laughter and horrible pain. I don't know which was funnier; how much the show sucked, or Sarah's reaction to it. "OH MY GOD, CALM DOWN. HE JUST KEEPS SCREAMING AT RANDOM PEOPLE. I MEAN SERIOUSLY IS THIS KID ON SPEED OR SOMETHING? LOOK AT HIS PUPILS"

Eventually I got some more happy drugs and then I fell asleep. Then I was woken up because there was apparently a Code Red and an alarm was going off, but then we peeked out in the hall and just saw a nurse boredly doing paperwork and decided it was a false alarm. Then I went back to sleep.

I woke up the next morning and I was told I was free to go :O So I moved as quickly as my sore little body would allow (which isn't very quick at all, mind you) and got ready to go. A nurse took my IV out... I was tempted to ask her if I could get another pain med shot for the road, but I decided not to risk being put on wellfare or anything. At least I got me some PILLS

And that's pretty much all that happened. HOW EXCITING. I have two IV bruises on my arms, bandages all over my stomach (which I'm a little afraid to take off because I don't wanna know what's under them), and a stuffed penguin (which I have named Man Nurse, in honor of the man-nurse who took care of me in the ER) to remind me of my trip. NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME I MUST GO BE HIGH AND CRIPPLED AND STUFF