backupdump002

holidays you guys

SO HEY GUYS, SANITARIUM!
LOOKS LIKE I'M A MORON AND SHOULD'VE LOOKED HARDER FOR THE GAME SO I COULD FIND A VERSION THAT WORKED AND NOT DEAL WITH THE EMBARRASSMENT LATER ON
Yeah, this time I downloaded a TORRENT rather than something from some skeezy do-surveys-get-games site, and it works perfectly. I have videos, voices, an ACTUAL INSTALLATION (p.s. this game's installation is epic), an OPENING screen, multiple "CDs," everything. fffffff why didn't I ditch that old download as soon as I saw that the cutscenes and voices didn't work, I had a feeling that wasn't all that was wrong with it and as always I didn't listen and charged in man i suck

To try and make it up to you guys: the file's too big for MegaUpload, so the torrent I used is over here. I'll help seed it until I'm through with this screencap adventure, which should give you plenty of time to get it, because I'm slow. You'll also want to get Daemon Tools so you can mount the images. If you need help with any of that, let me know and I'll do my best. I'm sorry, guys, I feel so lame :< FEEL FREE TO REQUEST A HOLIDAY GIFT TOO YOU GUYS

Previous episodes of fail

LOOK GUYS
COPYRIGHT INFO
DKJFGHKDHG GOD I SUCK

ASC GAAAAAAMMMEEEES

CRACKABOOM

NO WE'RE NOT TO THE GAME YET HOLD ON

focuussssssss

FFFFF--

OKAY JUST A LITTLE MORE COME ON

*angelic choir*

YEEEEEAH LET'S G--

aww man hang on

By the way, I will have all of you know that it's... not exactly possible to do a speedrun of Sanitarium, despite my best efforts to quickly get to where I left off. WALKAN GAEMS

But anyway, enough of that! Let's start this chapter!

I wasn't expecting it and missed a shot, but Max says WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME or something along those lines.

LOOKS LIKE THE CIRCUS CAME TO TOWN AFTER ALL, DIDN'T IT, MAX?!

OR SHOULD I SAY

SARAH

he's face-down how can you even

BOING

I SAW A FLASH OF LIGHT AND THE NEXT THING I KNEW I WAS A LITTLE GIRL

Plopped her down on a... cliff.

~~Now you're not a stranger~~

Murky water filled with dead bodies?

FREE STUFF man i wish every place was like this. NO ONE'S HERE, TAKE WHATEVER YOU WANT, I DON'T KNOW

A CIRCUS TO RUN!!!!!!!!!!!

He's all waddly, it makes me smile :B

Hahahahaha

WELP, LET'S START WORKIN'

I CAN SEE OTHER DIMENSIONS AND PLANETS AND COLORS INVISIBLE TO THE NAKED EYE WHOOOOOAAAA

Looking at the 'NOCS in the upper left corner, by the way.

A HOUSE

Remember that house, it's important.

AND HERE'S YOUR EIGHT SECONDS OF CUTSCENE

Yeah, there's tons of random bottles of vodka scattered all over the circus grounds. SARAH'S MOUTH WATERS AT THE THOUGHT

Inside the tent, lookin' at the lady whoop whoop

CUTSCENE

lol his face

THAT PRIEST KNOWS THE SCORE

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

oh whew much better

Here's the cutscene, and by the way, I'm just looking through all these screencaps I took of FULL, FUNCTIONING CUTSCENES and rubbing my forehead in anguish. WHY AAAARGH okay i'll stop sorry

BABY WITH HEELS LIKE THOSE THIS PLACE IS A CIRCUS IN MY BOOK WHOA

~~feel free to ignore the fact that that made no sense~~

she says, grinning

Speaking of which, I just noticed that Sarah's bust is a lot bigger than Inferno's. wtf

REMEMBER: SQUID FREAK. VERY IMPORTANT.
HOUSE.
SQUID FREAK.
REMEMBER.

SOMEONE... YOUNG...

Maybe that's where all the vodka bottles come from! Or maybe everyone in this circus is just depressed.

Well, enough of her husband angst.

I CAN'T JUGGLE WITH TWO, YEEEEAAAAAHH why am i happy

BOY I LOVE AN AMPUTEE WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR

YOU'RE ALL RIGHT WITH ME, LEFTY

I thought that said "You're pretty good" and I was going to make a joke about Revolver Ocelot, but then I saw "very" so I'm just gonna be quiet ;_;

can you juggle a bear

HINT HINT

Lookin' at the muscly guy.

Yeah, exercising with your little pansy weights, there

I could lift those, man

I just noticed that it looks like he has a bit of a gut. Hahaha

And now we know why there's water everywhere and why his weights suck. TWO MYSTERIES DOWN

faaaaaaaaabulous

HMMMMMMMMMMMM

Take Baldini down a few pegs, see how he likes them apples

It's too bad "Goodbye" isn't a legit response, here, because that would be pretty hilarious.

This chapter is full of exclamation marks!!!!!

Clown on the left.

Clown in the middle.

Clown on the right.

This clown is weird. He just... runs around, pauses, blows balloons until they all pop, then keeps running. He kind of looks like he should be a monster in Ragnarok Online, but maybe that part's just me

Wouldn't let me talk to him, either. Huh.

They listen to MacArthur Park and slit their support beams

guhh it's really cold in this room right now

She has either an Irish or a Scottish accent, if I remember right.

She seems like a good neighbor!

can i borrow a cup of wrath

It'd be so cool if Sarah just shrugged her shoulders and went "eh" in response, but sadly, no such thing happened.

Also, that guy next to the lady blended in with the background so well that I completely forgot he was even there and didn't talk to him dkfgjd GOD WHY HAVE I BEEN ON SUCH A FAIL STREAK LATELY

Anyway, from the video (he also has either an Irish or Scottish accent I CAN'T REMEMBER):
Sarah: Aww, he looks so sad!
Sarah: (convo) My name's Sarah, what's yours?
Colin: My name is Colin O'Leary, and my wife here is Martha.
>Townsfolk
Sarah: What happened to the rest of the townsfolk?
Colin: Most of them were killed in the flood. The few survivors, like me family, came up here to find shelter.
Sarah: Where are they? I don't see anyone but your family.
Colin: We're all that remain. That squid thing has been picking us off one by one.
>Squid
Sarah: But how can it? We're high up from the water!
Colin: Since it's been in the open water, it's grown to almost triple its original size. At night sometimes, I've seen its long tentacles probing the ground, searching for us...
Sarah: Can't you do anything?
Colin: I'm afraid not. We're all doomed.
>Sean (his kid; comes up after you actually talk to him)
Sarah: I met your son. He's nice.
Colin: Sean? Aye, he's a good lad. although I wish his mother wouldn't baby him so much.

Haha, I can hardly believe that of Martha. Also, dang, that squid problem doesn't sound good. Maybe they should move to the center of the island or something

NOW let's talk to Sean.

And, of course, Sean is totally accent-free. WHOOP

He kind of looks like that kid from About a Boy.

And man, I want that kid's sweater.

Then again, right now, I want every sweater.

In the world.

And also some soup, I'm hungry. I'd go make some but Dad is asleep on the couch. If you could teleport into my room with some warm clothes and a bowl of soup then I will totally give you a dollar.

YOU HAVE TO GO BUY A CORNDOG SOMETIME, YOU CAN'T LIVE OFF AIR FOREVER

Better than when I had to write a poem about Curley from Of Mice and Men for 9th grade English.
I TRY TO WIN, I TRY TO FIGHT
I HOPE I HAVE ENOUGH VASELINE TONIGHT

Come to think of it, I threw in a lot of things like that for that class, like "The weather was as hormonal as a teenage girl that day," and "I think the author makes it clear who the circus clown is and who is merely a bystanding elephant," and "I'm glad I don't have to read Quick Writes outloud because then no one knows I'm not actually writing about the prompt and am instead wishing I could go to GODDAMN SLEEP"

DAMN THAT SQUID GUY

Hahaha, this guy is like Bizarro Barret

I'm gonna call him BB.

"Test Your Strength," in other words.

Except there aren't really any rides here but anyway

I dunno, I've seen mangas about Macbeth, there's probably a comic series about Moby Dick somewhere

SIGH, CHILDREN THESE DAYS

bonk

DING

Imagine the most sugary sweet little kidvoice you can imagine, here, complete with a little giggle at the end, and you've got this sound clip.

... is it bad that I honestly find it more disturbing than anything we've seen so far

WOO TICKETS WHAT ELSE DO THEY HAVE

*guitar wail*

Haha, I love the way this guy says that.

AND HEY, DO YOU SEE SOMETHING NEXT TO THE STAND?

eh i'll get it later

So this is what Vamp did after MGS2, apparently

I make the exact same sound when I shoot things

OKAY THIS IS THE LAST GUY AND THEN I'LL MOVE ON I SWEAR

ffffffffff

I tried this guy again later and still lost. I didn't try him after that. I'M BUSY

I'm not sure how it's decided, but I'm guessing that it's for every few wins you get a lose, and all the booths add up. Like you could win several times at Squid Squash and Knock Down, but if you tried Pig Shoot after that then you'd lose. I dunno what the ratio is, though.

ANYWAY just play Squid Squash until you geeeeettt at least 18 tickets, and that should be enough. I played until I got around 40, but that's because I'm OCD.

You HAVE to play Knock Down, though, because otherwise you don't get this shiny new bowling pin!

And with that in hand, let's go back to Lefty.

WHOOOP

ALL RIGHT A BALL

Such a polite juggler :D

Uhh oh yeah, and talk to the strong man again at... some point. I AM SUCH A GREAT CAPPER GUYS

YOU'VE GOT TO THROW HER UP AGAINST THE WALL AND TELL HER THAT YOU STILL LOVE HER, THAT LOVE DOES EXIST

SHE'LL BREATHE FIRE ALL OVER ME, I CAN'T--

Go to BB, see if he has any lines for you! Maybe you can even carry around one of his books as a prop! COME ONNN

Anyway, we don't have the next conversation option for him yet, so let's explore a little.

IT'S SIMPLY DIVIIIINE

He looks fairly plain to me, but what do I know

Hahaha, Sarah's lookin' to get some cred.

THERE'S A BULLDOG FOAMING AT THE MOUTH AND A HISSING SNAKE AND A NAKED LADY ON A MOTORCYCLE AND EVERYTHING

man now I'm never going to be able to smell rubbing alcohol again without thinking about clown breath

Please do not breastfeed anyone sir that is not what we require

IT'S A WHOLE OTHA WORLD IN THIS WAGON, LITTLE GIRL

THIS WAGON IS WILBURLAND AND I'M THE GODDAMNED MAYOR

I remember being so disappointed as a kid when I heard that tattoos were only for adults. I wanted a Pokemon tattoo so badly and the Chuck-E-Cheese temp tattoos just weren't the same ;_;

HUH

WHAT'S THAT

KEEP ASKING QUESTIONS

SOOOO, ABOUT THAT...

YEEEAH ALCOHOL OBTAINED

Eeeewwwww, staph tattoos.

CURSES

Eh well, we don't need it yet. Let's go learn that fire-breathin'!

Actually wait let me talk to her about love poems first

Haha, Geno. Why did I only just now notice that

Actually, I can understand that. It's really hard to take it seriously when someone hits on you when they also hit on pretty much everyone else in the vicinity. :|

Yeah, then you pretty much have to go out with him!

INFERNO'S LONELY, REMEMBER, VERY IMPORTANT

But anyway, let's get down to business.

AND THESE WERE THE LAST WORDS DEAR SARAH UTTERED IN HER TRAGICALLY SHORT LIFE

fwoomp

fwoosh

WOOOOO WE KNOW HOW TO BREATHE FIRE

Now I kind of want to do this in real life, wtf

And now, the final touch for this episode...

I was going to make a snide remark about his grammar, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. GO, GENO! YOU GET THAT TATTOO!

wait what just happened

god his body is so strangely proportioned it's freaking me out

And lol, he must be a really awkward person to get a tattoo from. SHUT UP YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF TRASH I DON'T CARE GOSH WHY DO YOU PEOPLE TALK SO MUCH

WHAT, THE HEART'S NOT ON FIRE?

GOD GENO WHY DO I EVEN TALK TO YOU

GIVE THOSE TENTACLES THE OL' ONE TWO

pretty soon he'll walk and talk and wear a suit you wont even be able to tell it's him 'til it's too late man

Also lol getting'

And as Sarah hums innocently and steals an unsanitary needle, I'm going to knock off for the night. WHAT HORRORS AWAIT US? FIND OUT NEXT TIME!

A new tablet pen has been ordered and should be here iiiiin... a week? In the meantime, I'm gonna sketch everything on paper and get cards ready. I'M FIXING EVERYTHING GUYS HONEST

Damn, what I wouldn't give for some Indian food right now. That sounds great.