backupdump002

holidaaaaayyy I guess I'll close this on December 1st? There's still time to get in if you haven't already! :O

I spent pretty much my whole day riding from place to place trying to get a state ID, and I still don't have it because I forgot my social security number. N-nobody told me I needed that. At least now I know what I need to do...
Speaking of which, have you ever listened to music in the car, and then looked at random people on the street and pretended that whatever song you were listening to was their theme song? Because... it's really funny. bored old guy walking down the street WHO'S BENDING DOWN TO GIVE ME A RAINBOW

Heading out of town uhhh tomorrow, I guess, since it's the middle of the night right now, and then my brother's going to be visting us, sooo you're probably not going to hear from me a lot. :O SO SANITARIUM!!!!!!
When we last left off, Max became a little girl. What next?!

Previous Episodes

AN OIL CAN

This is also exactly what Sarah says if you examine this, for those wondering. I forgot to pick this up :B

Staring at the lever by the merry-go-round. RUSTY LEVER, THIS IS IMPORTANT

oil me up so good baby yeah

HRRRRRRRNNNNNGGGGH

NNNNNNNGGGHHH

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i like my version better

GET ON THERE YOU WUSS

You hear a dying "whirrr" noise and the ride starts to slow down. It was actually still moving as I took this, I just managed to get it in the exact same position as the last shot somehow.

The ride's broken, but it conveniently broke in such a way that now we can get past! B-because it was really hard to cross it before or something

what is this sign's deal

CUTSCENE

I've always thought "Spanky" was a really hilarious name.

... I just thought you should know that.

REEEEACH

COME ON SARAH CAN'T YOU GROW LIKE A FOOT

CALL THE POLIIICE

did that sign just frown at me

Full video! also wtf youtube videos got bigger

So... does it seem like this sign is missing something? Maybe we have an item in our inventory?

AHA

LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Spanky lowers his arm in thanks, and Sarah whispers "Thank you" as the screen goes black. HOORAY, WE CAN GO IN THE HAUNTED HOUSE

Sorry, the "Fun House." Looks more like a haunted house to me, what with the fangs and skeletons and things popping out of it

OH YOU ARE JUST A TREAT

HOW MUCH IS THAT CLOWN ON THE ROOOOOF (HONK HONK)

So the roofclown and signclown are both named Spanky, or what

wait did he not see her put the ball in the hole

what is this a fun house or a haunted house WHAT IS THIS GUY TALKING ABOUT AAAA

WOO I GOT A SHOT OF THE THING POPPING OUT

... WHAT IS THAT

EH WHATEVER HERE WE GOOOOO

Man, there's a lot of cutscenes in this episode

YAY THIS MIRROR IS FUN WHEEE

wuteva i'm bored

touch

RIPPLES AAAAAAAAA

MAX WHEN DID YOU GET HERE

wtf proportions

THAT WAS DEFINITELY THE MOST NOTEWORTHY PART OF THAT WHOLE EXPERIENCE

Full videoo

MAN THAT CARPET IS AWESOME I WANNA GO TO THIS PLACE SO I CAN LOOK AT THE CARPET ADUIFGYAID

like rubbing alcohol

It wouldn't let me talk to this clown, either, but apparently you can! :O From the video:
Sarah: My name's Sarah. What's yours?
Clown: Well I'll be! Hee hee hee! A leprechaun! Where's yer pot of gold, little leprechaun? Heh heh heh.
Sarah: I'm not a leprechaun! I'm a girl!
Clown: Ah, you don't fool me, leprechaun! Hee hee hee! My name is Laughin' Larry. Heh heh heh. Show me to your pot of gold!
And then they chose 'Goodbye' instead of 'Circus.' PFF

Okay, so if you go to the Fun House then you pretty much HAVE to go to the Fortune Teller's tent as well, since that's the only path. What kind of a messed up layout is this, wtf. What if I didn't have enough tickets? What if I only wanted to go to the Fortune Teller's tent? THIS CIRCUS IS A TOTAL JIP

monster peeking out of the chimney omg

YOU HAVE A WALKIE-TALKIE, ADMIT IT

She has an accent of some sort, which I hear is a strict requirement for being a fortune teller

FREE FORTUNE YEAAAAH

lol

Pit of darkness? Wand, flask, and reflection? Wha--

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Aaaand I stupidly used my usual left-to-right routine for going through conversations, completely forgetting that if you have her tell your fortune then you get transported outside. And then I also forgot about the other conversation choice and didn't remember until I looked at these screenshots. THAT'S TWO MORE MARKS TO THE FAIL BOARD, IF ANYONE OUT THERE IS KEEPING TABS

Well, nothing else to do on the top. Let's explore the rest of the beach!

occasionally he blurts out I FEEL THE COSMOS and fades into a starry background, makes him a bit of an awkward dinner guest

I SEEM TO HAVE DRAWN THE "MAN"

Wait what does that have to do with--

I can see why he got the job

They only look that way on the outside, if you go in you'll find a nice fireplace and some plushy sofas

I laughed pretty hard at this, I'll admit. KIDBURN

lol, "collector." GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL

KEEP 'EM LOCKED UP, THE BEARDED LADY COULD GET BEARD HAIRS ALL OVER YOU

You know, I don't think I could ever go to a freak show. I'd feel too guilty. Everyone else would be all LOL FREAK and I'd just want to make them some tea and talk about the weather.

I wouldn't make Iggy tea, though. He'd eat me. Maybe I'd throw him a few goats.

well considering you just called them all "perverted beasts"

LET'S GO

It'd be very elitist, I imagine.

WHAT'S THIS
YOU HAVE NO GLARING PHYSICAL ABNORMALITIES?
GET OUT, GET OFF THIS BEACH, WE DON'T WANT YOUR KIND AROUND HERE

IGGYYYYY >(

DHALSIM?!

LUFFY??????
i should get into that series

And lol, "Pret-zool"

you take yoga big whoop

I haven't been to yoga class in months, that reminds me. :B

Always playing rock music in the middle of the night, putting his tentacles on the table

And go on a rampage and eat everyone and continue lurking in the water, awesome

I can't take Iggy seriously, I'm sorry. JUST DON'T GO IN THE WATER OR TRY TO LURE HIM OUT AND KILL HIM SOMEHOW
DON'T YOU HAVE SWORDS
GUNS
POISONOUS CHEMICALS
MAGIC
ANYTHING

... FURTHERMORE, COULDN'T IGGY HAVE JUST QUIT HIS JOB? I DUNNO, I DON'T KNOW HOW THESE SHOWS WORK

Anyway, let's talk to the... one other freak in this exhibit kdfjghdkfgh. Unless that one cage by the entrance has something? I don't think anything showed up when I walked next to it, though. I can't remember. I'M SO GREAT AT THIS

Hands? Paws? Pands? Haws?

I'M GOING DEEPER UNDERGROUND sorry

Can't they saw the lock or the door off or something? It seems kind of weird to make them sit in their cages when no one's even around, unless Stuart lost the key right when Sarah showed up and just went EHHH I CAN PUT IT OFF

Well, when someone in a video game says to do something, you almost always have to do it. Let's get out our syphilis needle, here.

SARAH APPARENTLY KNOWS HOW TO PICK LOCKS?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

And he bounds away, sparing Sarah's life.

LET'S FOLLOW HIM

Looks like he fell!
Into a pit!
Of... darkness..?

Well you're kind of in a cave full of skeletons, I imagine it can't--

Hey, do you see...

AW FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

He gets bashed to the side, but it's so quick that I couldn't catch it. There was also some stuff before and after that, but I apparently zoned out and didn't get any of it.

You can sure see it here, though!

WELP HERE I GOOOOOOO

This can barely even be considered a chapter, it's so short. I'M ONLY CALLING IT THAT BECAUSE THEY DO

Hmm. What to do.

Well, let's think back to what that fortune teller told us. We're in the pit of darkness, right? What did she say we needed? A reflection?

That's right! We picked up a broken mirror piece, didn't we?

YESSS. What was that other thing she said we needed? A wand, right? And a flask?

If you're piecing all of this together, you should be getting a look of total disbelief on your face right now.

Yeah. You guessed it. Our wand and our flask are right here.

The HP heartbeat kicks in around here. Let's do this thing.

Rocks fall occasionally, but you have a lot of warning beforehand and they're super easy to dodge (there were a couple of times where it seemed like I walked right into them and still didn't take damage), so they're not really a problem. :V

OH SHHHHHHHHH actually this isn't much of a problem, either, since they waggle around for a million years before trying to hit you. OH NOOOO IT'S IGGYYYY GOD HOW DID HE KILL SO MANY PEOPLE

BUT WAIT, THAT'S NOT WHAT MAKES THIS BOSS FIGHT
HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS

THAT IS RIGHT

YEAH THAT'S RIGHT YOU TAKE IT THIS IS THE BEST GAME EVER

YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT HE'LL PLAY NICE AFTER WE'RE THROUGH WITH HIM HOLY SHIT

THAT BASTARD BETTER BE READY FOR ROUND TWO BECAUSE I'M SURE AS FUCK NOT WAITING

HE LIFTS UP REVEALING A SECOND FACE ON HIS CROTCH

IGGY'S CROTCHFACE SHOOTS ACID LIKE A CRAZY BITCH AND SARAH GETS IT RIGHT IN THE EYES AND GOES STRAIGHT BACK TO BREATHING FIRE LIKE IT BARELY EVEN HURTS GODDAMN

GO BACK AND FORTH LIKE THAT AND HE BURSTS INTO TWENTY FOOT TALL FLAMES

HOLY PISS DID YOU SEE THAT

SHIT GUYS I JUST GREW A BEARD GOING THROUGH THESE SCREENCAPS SWEET MOTHER OF BALLS HOW THE TITS DO I EVEN CONCLUDE THIS MOTHERFUCKER

LOOK TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR MORE SANITARIUM GODDAMN I NEED TO GO DO SOME SQUAT THRUSTS