backupdump002

I watched Pan's Labyrinth the other day, which turned out to be surprisingly violent and scary. My parents actually warned me about how dark it was and I was like "PFFFFF I'M SURE IT'S NOT THAT BAD," and then the next thing I know there's people getting their faces bashed in and their legs cut off and everyone's getting shot. It was a great movie and all, but I just wasn't really prepared for the gore so I was like JESUS CHRIST the whole way through. BUT DESPITE THAT I recommend seeing it if you can. Just brace yourself, is all.

so anyway i think it's time for more superstar saga what do you think

Past episodes.

When we last left off the Mario Bros. trekked up HooHoo Mountain, rescued Prince Peasley from his dragonyness, and hitched a ride from Blabhdfgabdon to HooHoo Village. WHAT WILL WE DO NEXT???

We'll visit the Hammerhead Bros., of course!

TADAHHHHH

SCORE

Hahahaha awwww. Old Nintendo slogan.

This will change later.

MANLY WHACK

MANLY WHACK

MANLY WHACK. that's the strangest gravel I've ever seen

SIGN ME UP

I love the mine cart guy

...to the HooHoo Mountain base?

YOU'RE OKAY MINE CART GUY

I actually chose "Explain" here but I didn't get a shot. YES I CHOSE EXPLAIN. YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE THE TUTORIALS! HA HA HA HA

Hahaha I don't know, the thought of him sitting in a rocking chair while having his beandog pull him down mysterious mine tracks is amusing me way too much

WAIT I NEVER TOLD YOU MY NAME WHO ARE YOU

HI LUIGI

Way ahead of you.

IT'S ON LUIGI ALREADY JEEZ

woooooo it'd be cool if you could actually make mine carts do that at will

IF ONLY THE REAL WORLD WERE LIKE THIS

A DIAMOND

GET IT LUIGI OMG

Actually, aren't the only enemies here Thwomps? Or are there bats and stuff? NOW I CAN'T REMEMBER

OH GOD

AAAAAAAA

OH JESUS A THWOMP

JUMP HIGHER OH GOD

WATCH OUT OLD MAN OH GOD DON'T DIE DON'T DIE ON ME NOW OH JESUS CHRIST

Okay. Okay. I can do this. I GOT THIS.

oops lol. Before this he was like "that was plum awful" and I didn't get a shot

DUHHHH

WOO ALRIGHT

YEAH LET'S DO THIS WOOOOO

clackaclacka

LOL THAT WASN'T SO HARD OMG actually I just didn't take any shots

"I just warped on over here, yup."

hahaha unless you ride the carts again, of course

HI GUYS

Battle Rectangle: Battle Star is out to lunch so I'm taking over. Jerks

'tis a beautiful thing

psssst
manly whack

It's cool it's cool forget about it

I PRESS WHAT WHEN IT DOES WHAT I DIDN'T HEAR YOU

Yes bonk that's the word

HUH WHAT DID YOU SAY SOMETHING

DO THEY REALLY DO TAKE YOUR HAMMERS AWAY???? WHO KNOWS!

ahahahahahaha

...PRINCESS
They like... walk away by doing this weird hammering motion. I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE IT

Anyway, onward to BeanBean Castle! Here's the BeanBean world map music that slowly drives you insane after a while

The bridge to BeanBean Village.

durrrrrrrr

AAAAAAAAAGH

It's true, the Item Shop is the only place you can go.

I didn't buy anything. I ALREADY HAVE LIKE A BILLION MUSHROOMS ANYWAY I'M FINE

Sorry, it's actually the Equip Store. WHATEVER, SAME THING. I don't think you can even buy equips from her right now, anyway.

Anyway, on to BeanBean Castle.

TIME FOR SOME WACKY GUARDS

Hahahaha poor Luigi. It's so sad and hilarious at the same time.

I'LL PROVE IT ALRIGHT

ahahahahhaaha

Hahahahaaaaaa HOW DID YOU GUYS GET THIS JOB ANYWAY

SHAPOW

SURE, YEAH

Man, that scene never fails to make me start cracking up. AND I ALWAYS FORGET ABOUT IT SO IT'S A SURPRISE EVERYTIME IT HAPPENS

Anyway, inside the castle! Is the decor great or what. Castle theme.

GRR SNARL

BOING BOING BOING BOING BOING

asgfakdhgadfg

ASDLGKJAGLDFG

hey what's with the

HEY WAIT A SECOND

NOOOOOOOOO

haha their faces

Back in action!

To fix the plumbing, you basically just hunt down these leaks and hammer in the corks. Easy!

Pffffffhaahahahaha

wooooo next room

GEE THANKS

Sometimes you'll find these, which you can just Spin Jump next to to turn.

Then just go hammer in the corks again. If only real life plumbing was this simple.

Not baaaddd

Here's some cork-hammering mini game where you basically have four tries to hammer in all the corks without them popping back up. I think the order is top left, bottom left, top right, bottom right, but I can't remember for sure.

ANYWAY I GET WHERE I'M SUPPOSED TO GO AND SO ON

hey wait a minute SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT HERE

OH NO
THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON WHO HAS THAT LAUGH

CACKLETTA!!!!!!!!!
Cackletta's Theme - I think that plays here, but I don't know for sure. WHATEVER, JUST TAKE IT.

Beanstar: sup

okay sure whatever

AAAAA OKAY

A large parrot died in this room

OSHI--

I DON'T GET IT

Battle Rectangle: Hey, guys. Or something. ugh god i don't even wanna be here right now

Queen Bean is pretty easy, but a little time-consuming. You'll see in a bit. Here she is slamming down her beefy fists to send out a nasty shockwave you have to jump over.

Here's the time-consuming part -- as she is, Queen Bean's defence is crazy. If you try and jump on her you'll get poked by her crown and take damage, and if you use a hammer she only takes a measly 1 damage. So to fix that, you have to jump on her arms and 'deflate' them, thus rendering her arm attacks useless.

Sometimes she'll try and bash you with one of her arms and you have to hammer it away. I never really got the timing right.

OKAY HERE. Once you deflate both arms her crown goes flying off, and instead of attacking with her arms she'll hack out some beans for you to jump over. If you jump at a certain time, however, you'll land on the bean and it'll roll over to Queen Bean's side and turn into those... bean monster things I forget the names of. I usually just go ahead and jump on 'em, since I think if you fight them then you get a little more exp. I think. But I might be wrong.

Also, when Queen Bean's arms are deflated, this significantly lowers her defence for... some reason, so now is a good time to pummel her with Bros. Attacks. Yes, I realize how completely bizarre this whole thing sounds. I DIDN'T MAKE THE GAME OKAY

Her arms don't stay deflated for long, though! Only a turn or two. So you have to deflate each arm again, which I think also takes a turn or two per arm. SEE HOW THIS CAN GET A LITTLE TEDIOUS

But eventually, she explodes.

You get a pretty sweet reward for beating her, though, so the arm-deflating ritual is worth it.

HOOAH

hahahaha

TO CHUCKLEHUCK WOODS!

Well I'll do my-- HEY WAIT A MINUTE

I forgot to go in this room back in the sewers so I went back. durrr

Best floor ever.

Y HELO RANDOM WALL

WOO FREE EQUIPS

Simple enough.

poke poke

aww. DON'T WORRY LUIGI, I'LL BUY YOU A BADGE

WHAT AWAITS OUR HEROES IN CHUCKLEHUCK WOODS? OOOOOOONLY THE WIIIIIIND KNOOOOOOOWS

We're gonna see Pirates 3 tomorrow woooo or actually more like today since it's 2:28 AM and all. PFFFF DAY SCHEDULE