(no subject)

[backupdump002]

heydudeicons update.
also, the philippines fundraiser at supercharitygo is still going on. go check it out.

man, i haven't felt like myself lately. i try to act normal, but it just doesn't feel right, and even the prospect of halloween hasn't been cheering me up. i dunno what's gotten into me, but i wish it'd go away so i can go back to
whatever i was before
an idiot
i dunno

i've been playing a ridiculous amount of saints row 2, which is really fun. i beat all the brotherhood missions and am currently working on the sons of samedi (who are a lot more entertaining. so much voodoo and drugs). even character creation is a load of fun. i thought about making martha stewart or paul reubens, but then i went down a more animu path instead it's hilarious don't judge me goddammit
i put him in a bra and a thong and fishnet stockings and high heels

real life stuff: my step-grandma has breast cancer. they found it really early, though, so it's very likely that she'll pull through just fine. tryin' to think of stuff to bring for thanksgiving, since she's not going to do any cooking. i guess i could make cookies? it's about the only thing i know how to make aside from pasta, which isn't exactly thanksgiving food to my knowledge

also, we've possibly sold our old house. it's been on the market for about five years, just draining us of money and making us clean up after loads of shitty tennants. i'm trying to avoid getting my hopes up since nothing's final right now, but god i hope these people buy it. it would free us up so much.

uhhh nothing else is coming to mind, so, question: am i intimidating/difficult to approach? this is completely unrelated to the rest of the post, so don't think people are coming down on me or anything, but it's just something i've wondered from time to time. be honest, anon's fine, etc.

Comments

[oldsneakers.livejournal.com]

if you are an idiot you are a delightful one, like larry but much more useful (sorry lars) ;w; i love you. This stormcloud'll pass, but that doesn't make your emotions less relevant. I think that you seem quite self-assured, and occasionally self-assured people are intimidating to the not-so-assured. How do I say this... When I feel vulnerable, a very passionate or aggressive person is intimidating. This is my personal fault, but I'm sure others experience something similar. I'm gullible regarding surface matters but don't trust easily in deeper waters, so... A confident, self-assured person is still a source of strength I'm unsure if I can trust fully. This is only natural to the extent that you and I know each other through the internet. |D So, we're not as close or probably as approachable to each other as we would be in-person, probably. Strength, whether physical or personal, is a potential threat. This is simple, human potentiality. All strength is a potential threat, even when familiar. But familiarity, of course, helps to subdue that fear.

In conclusion, I think that you're only difficult to approach when I'm at my worst. I'm not sure if this helps, exactly, but it seems to me like a reality of most communication. :oa For me, anyways. It's not something you should work on-- strength, passion, energy, vitality. Quite simply, it's something I'm unused to and will gradually learn to trust.

....man this sounds so serious and academic i feel stuffy and snub-nosed |:[ BUTTS

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

hahahaha i remind like everyone of larry
not that i'm complaining since he's the best character

haha well, if it helps, i'm really not the strongest person ever. i have plenty of insecurities and fears and hangups, just like anyone else. i'm kind of a coward, really, so-- don't feel like i'm any kind of superior, powerful force or anything, since i really don't know what i'm doing more than anyone else does. i just try to pretend that my vulnerabilities don't exist.

hahaha DON'T WORRY you sound perfectly fine to me, and i really appreciate getting a detailed response. i love hearing other peoples' views on this sorta thing.

[oldsneakers.livejournal.com]

holy nuts i'm sorry for the late reply! Thanks for being honest. Really. I'll try to pretend my own vulnerabilities don't exist, too-- I mean, it's no good to forget them forever, but maybe for a little while. Being assertive is an alien concept to me, but playing at a leading role might instill some new, good qualities I can call on later. Testing both sides of the water before I return to my middle. After spending time in the under- and the over, the right and the left currents, neither'll knock me off course because I'm strong to both. But yeah! Thank you.