(no subject)

[backupdump002]

heydudeicons update.
also, the philippines fundraiser at supercharitygo is still going on. go check it out.

man, i haven't felt like myself lately. i try to act normal, but it just doesn't feel right, and even the prospect of halloween hasn't been cheering me up. i dunno what's gotten into me, but i wish it'd go away so i can go back to
whatever i was before
an idiot
i dunno

i've been playing a ridiculous amount of saints row 2, which is really fun. i beat all the brotherhood missions and am currently working on the sons of samedi (who are a lot more entertaining. so much voodoo and drugs). even character creation is a load of fun. i thought about making martha stewart or paul reubens, but then i went down a more animu path instead it's hilarious don't judge me goddammit
i put him in a bra and a thong and fishnet stockings and high heels

real life stuff: my step-grandma has breast cancer. they found it really early, though, so it's very likely that she'll pull through just fine. tryin' to think of stuff to bring for thanksgiving, since she's not going to do any cooking. i guess i could make cookies? it's about the only thing i know how to make aside from pasta, which isn't exactly thanksgiving food to my knowledge

also, we've possibly sold our old house. it's been on the market for about five years, just draining us of money and making us clean up after loads of shitty tennants. i'm trying to avoid getting my hopes up since nothing's final right now, but god i hope these people buy it. it would free us up so much.

uhhh nothing else is coming to mind, so, question: am i intimidating/difficult to approach? this is completely unrelated to the rest of the post, so don't think people are coming down on me or anything, but it's just something i've wondered from time to time. be honest, anon's fine, etc.

Comments

[oldsneakers.livejournal.com]

if you are an idiot you are a delightful one, like larry but much more useful (sorry lars) ;w; i love you. This stormcloud'll pass, but that doesn't make your emotions less relevant. I think that you seem quite self-assured, and occasionally self-assured people are intimidating to the not-so-assured. How do I say this... When I feel vulnerable, a very passionate or aggressive person is intimidating. This is my personal fault, but I'm sure others experience something similar. I'm gullible regarding surface matters but don't trust easily in deeper waters, so... A confident, self-assured person is still a source of strength I'm unsure if I can trust fully. This is only natural to the extent that you and I know each other through the internet. |D So, we're not as close or probably as approachable to each other as we would be in-person, probably. Strength, whether physical or personal, is a potential threat. This is simple, human potentiality. All strength is a potential threat, even when familiar. But familiarity, of course, helps to subdue that fear.

In conclusion, I think that you're only difficult to approach when I'm at my worst. I'm not sure if this helps, exactly, but it seems to me like a reality of most communication. :oa For me, anyways. It's not something you should work on-- strength, passion, energy, vitality. Quite simply, it's something I'm unused to and will gradually learn to trust.

....man this sounds so serious and academic i feel stuffy and snub-nosed |:[ BUTTS

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

hahahaha i remind like everyone of larry
not that i'm complaining since he's the best character

haha well, if it helps, i'm really not the strongest person ever. i have plenty of insecurities and fears and hangups, just like anyone else. i'm kind of a coward, really, so-- don't feel like i'm any kind of superior, powerful force or anything, since i really don't know what i'm doing more than anyone else does. i just try to pretend that my vulnerabilities don't exist.

hahaha DON'T WORRY you sound perfectly fine to me, and i really appreciate getting a detailed response. i love hearing other peoples' views on this sorta thing.

[oldsneakers.livejournal.com]

holy nuts i'm sorry for the late reply! Thanks for being honest. Really. I'll try to pretend my own vulnerabilities don't exist, too-- I mean, it's no good to forget them forever, but maybe for a little while. Being assertive is an alien concept to me, but playing at a leading role might instill some new, good qualities I can call on later. Testing both sides of the water before I return to my middle. After spending time in the under- and the over, the right and the left currents, neither'll knock me off course because I'm strong to both. But yeah! Thank you.

[puddinchan.livejournal.com]

You? Intimidating/difficult to approach? You don't know how! You're easy on the eyes to talk to and a nice person.

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

aww, thanks
~*~*~*~*~

[puddinchan.livejournal.com]

You're welcome.♥

[marigold-tales.livejournal.com]

Hahaha somewhat, but I'm a shy, socially inept sort of person who is intimidated by approaching most cool people on the internet! :3 You're totally interesting to read about, so, if I were less awkward, you would totally not be! (if that makes any sense.)

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

NO IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE
YOU'RE IMPLYING THAT I'M A COOL PERSON

but hahahah i getcha, i can be a little shy. is there anything i can do to make things easier hahaha i sorta worry that i can come on like a bulldozer sometimes and it just freaks everyone out

ALSO i'm glad to hear i'm interesting to read about. I CAN BORE MYSELF SOMETIMES, SO

[marigold-tales.livejournal.com]

NOT JUST IMPLYING

SAYING

Hahaha, probably not, I'm over it, I just don't comment as often because I keep forgetting I don't stalk you anymore so it would not weird!

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

NUHUH MY LAEM NESS IS LIKE A PLUTO
IT'S SO LAME
THAT EVEN GREAT BIG HUGE LAMES WONT ACEPT IT ANYMOR
BECAUSE IT'S TOO LAME FOR THEIR LAME CREW
OR SOMETHING
THAT HAD A PUNCHLINE SOMEWHERE I NEED TO GOO TO BED

evne if you were a lurker i still wouldn't realy think it was weird HAHAHA random comments don't bother me at all

[dia-aren-marie.livejournal.com]

INTIMIDATING ARE YOU SERIOUS

I CAN BE UNSERIOUS TO YOU ABOUT ANYTHING AND NOT FEEL AWK ABOUT IT

at the same time I can be serious about things and you won't be like YOU PANSY about it

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

WELL IT MIGHT BE DIFFERENT WITH US SINCE WE'RE GOOD BROS

I JUST WONDER WHAT IT'S LIKE FOR THE PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW AS WELL

[neutraltwin.livejournal.com]

Hey yeah, I've been thinking about that. Is Saints Row 2 worth getting? Because I just have this horrible, horrible urge to just make a Boobzilla. Or repeat the last time I played it and make an obese shirtless Asian with a blonde afro. You CAN make women, right?

Man, that shit sucks, though. I don't really have much to say about that which hasn't been said already, but yeah, everything will improve! It always does as long as you ~stay optimistic~ and all that.

Also: you sure aren't! Intimidating is like...the last word I would use to describe you. For some reason, I always felt like I'd have nothing to say to you if we IMed (hence why I haven't despite the fact we've known each other for aaaages now), so that could technically count, but you're certainly not intimidating as a person. You're very friendly and approachable, actually.

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

i definitely think so. i've been playing it constantly and even have it paused right now sfgkjh
and yeah, you can make ladies. one of the best things about the character creation in sr2 is that all the features are gender-neutral, so women can have big bushy beards and men can have boobs and you can swap the voices around aaand pretty much do whatever you want, i haven't seen any limits there. i wanted to make several characters with that thing.

yeah, i dunno, i've just been in this horrible slump where even things that usually never fail to make me smile... well, fail to make me smile. though it was my dad's birthday today, which actually cheered me up a lot, so i'm currently feeling all right. FOR NOW!!!

haha, good to hear! it seems like the people who feel a little intimidated are just shy, which is really just a matter of warming up rather than any kind of character flaw of mine, so that's good. it's just something that's been mentioned before in the past, and i've sort of gotten that vibe from people, but-- maybe i'm imagining things/it's all shyness? unless someone lets me know otherwise (WHICH I HOPE THEY DO if they're feeling like that).

[roaring-softly.livejournal.com]

Nope, you're great and I love you.

That is all.

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

you too~

[ameliorer.livejournal.com]

UMM, I DON'T KNOW, BUT IF I EVER DO I GUESS IT'S BECAUSE WE'RE NOT REALLY CLOSE

You are friendly, though, and neither intimidating nor difficult to approach would be the right way to describe it.

I hope you and your step-grandmother feel better soon. ♥

[doxinator.livejournal.com]

THAT'S UNDERSTANDABLE
just as long as it's not because i come off like an ass or something

thank you! i actually am feeling a little better today.